A Pretty Little Parody [PLL]

10. A Little Adoration Goes A Long Way

A few hours later, Evan and I were sitting on the floor in my den, studying girly magazines. At least, that was what I was doing. Evan was behind me, giving me a shoulder massage. As much as I teased him about being a girl, he was really good at stuff like this.

He was also good for emergency hangouts. After Alec had unceremoniously driven away I’d called him up to see if he’d wanted to chill instead. Of course he’d said yes. It felt good to have a friend like Evan on hand.

I flipped through a prom special. Even though prom was at least two years away, I’d always liked looking at the pretty dresses. But, for some reason, every single item in the magazine looked bad.

“All these girls look absolutely revolting in these long dresses,” I declared, showing Evan a spread of fugly girls in floor-length gowns that looked like red-carpet fashion misses. “My prom dress is gonna be short and poofy, like a cupcake.”

“Sounds yummy,” Evan said, taking a break to glance at the article that lay open on the ottoman. He’d been studying the dating advice section like there was no tomorrow. “I think you’d look good in a long dress, though,” he said after studying the spread.

“That’s because I’m stunningly gorgeous no matter what I wear,” I said, only half-kidding.

“You do,” Evan said earnestly.

I beamed. “Thanks,” I said, grateful for the complement. Then I yawned, bored. “Wanna go somewhere else? It’s kinda depressing being at home on a Saturday.”

“Sure.” Evan started clearing up the area. “We could go to, like, the park or something.”

“I know somewhere better,” I said mischievously. “Come on. Don’t worry about the mess. Just follow me.”

I grabbed my heart-shaped sunglasses (such a necessity for protection against the summer sun, and they made me look extra cute besides) and slipped on my flip-flops by the door. Something by the curtains caught my eye, and I reached over and pushed them back, revealing Moby, who was just...standing there. Staring at us.

I rolled my eyes and put my face up to the window. “Nice try, freak,” I said. “But it’ll take more than that to creep me out.”

Moby flipped me off. I rolled up the window, even though it let all the hot air in and made the room a frickin’ sauna.

“Can’t you come in through the door like a normal person?” I demanded.

“Don’t you think I tried? Your front door was locked.”

“Then ring the doorbell, dumbass.”

Moby smirked before he turned and ran away. A few seconds later the doorbell rang. I sighed loudly. “Evan, can you close that window? I’m going to let this freak in.”

Evan obliged and did what he was told. I opened the door. There stood Moby, wearing nothing but bright yellow swim trunks. They showed off his skinny, deathly pale chest.

“I’m getting real tired of your bullshit, Mobias,” I said, crossing my arms. “You are so weird.” There were tons of rumors about him: that he’d been caught Frenching the dog. That he was such a great swimmer because he had fish gills instead of lungs. That he’d named his penis Honey Boo Boo Child after the reality TV star and talked to it as if it were another person. I happened to know that all of those rumors were true (except for the fish gills one, as much as Moby would love to have them) because I’d dared him to do all those things. Someone must’ve seen and made those incidents town legends.

He grinned charmingly. “I thought you liked me that way.”

I sighed loudly in reply. Moby had been one of the only people in Rosebush who didn’t bow down to me, and even after he’d been put in the clique he hadn’t changed any of his weird ways. You had to respect him for being such a nonconformist.