A Pretty Little Parody [PLL]

13. Two Beautiful Girls Make A Deal

“Don’t get so scared. Just grab your thunder buddy and say these magic words,” Alec sang dramatically, raising his middle finger to the sky.

“F*** you, thunder, you can suck my dick! You can’t get me, thunder, ‘cause you’re just God’s farts,” Scott continued with both fingers in the air. Then he collapsed onto the bench outside the Rosebush Film Institute, aka the old- and almost broken-down theater, where we’d gone after school to watch Ted. As old as crappy as the place itself was, nobody carded us there. Everybody minded their own business.

I made a loud farting noise with my armpit, picked a flower from the ground, and rolled it between my fingers. “That was the best movie I’ve seen this year, but I feel like it would’ve been funnier if I’d been high.”

“As if you’d ever get high,” Alec said, his eyes sparkling. He looked a lot happier than usual today. I wondered why.

“I am high,” I replied. And I kind of was high--on love. A and I had been texting nonstop after our date. Our next one was just around the corner, and I couldn’t wait. It had also been two weeks since I’d met him--two weeks since my life had changed forever.

Two weeks hadn’t changed the situation with my friends, though. Evan was still mumbling excuses and finding new ways to avoid me in the hallways at school. Alec was still acting shady. Henry was still associating with Jer’quoff, and Scott still seemed kind of wary with me. Everyone and everything seemed on edge.

Scott was standing right next to me, but his eyes were on the field across the street. A bunch of seniors from Rosebush Day were there, including Henna Cockcutoff and Ivana Toodamnsexy. Scott’s eyes lit up when he saw her.

He jumped up. “I, uh, have to take a quick piss by those bushes,” he said quickly, nodding at the hedge across the street.

Me and Henry watched as Scott ran across the street without checking both ways for cars. A white sedan screeched to a stop when he ran out right in front of it, but he didn’t appear to notice. He reached the hedge and dropped his pants, but kept sneaking peeks at Ivana out of the corner of his eye.

I made a disgusted noise at the back of my throat. “I so did not need to see his crack in the broad daylight.”

“There’s bushes over here, too,” Henry said, looking up from his sandwich. “Why did he have to go over there?”

I snorted. “He’s a dick.”

“We could go over, too,” Henry suggested.

“Nah.” I shook my head. “I’m kinda pissed at Scott.”

“You are?” Henry looked worried. “Why?”

“Stupid shit.” I didn’t want to say I was mad at him too because I didn’t want to be passive-aggressive like Eli was sometimes. He’d finally gotten in touch with me last night to tell me that he “needed a break” from our family, including me, and promised to text me when he was out of his self-granted sabbatical. What. A. Bitch.

Henry went quiet. I stared out at the different cars parked in the lot instead of at Scott’s ass crack. Worried thoughts started rolling into my mind like silver clouds rolled into the sky right before it was about to rain. What if I was slipping? What if Eli never came back? What if my secret was revealed? Who knew what my parents would do to me--to both of us--if they found out I’d been lying to them and the entire community for almost an entire year and a half. They’d probably send us both off far, far away, and I’d never get to go to the movies in Rosebush ever again. And I hadn’t even appreciated them enough.

Sometimes I got really paranoid and insecure about stuff.

I felt a tear slide out the corner of my eye and down on my cheek. When I looked back up, Henry was gaping at me. “Sasha?” he said. “What’s the matter? Are you okay?”