Fin's Claim

This Can't Be Fixed

Growling towards them, they look guilty, shame hangs heavy in their faces at being caught. It's funny that they never had any shame when they were kissing but being caught makes their heads hang low, pathetic.

Disgust, a vision of maggots eating a dead carcass is all I see when looking at the both of them, they are eating at my soul. Contempt churns and burns inside my body.

"I could kill you Meela, right now, end your life easily. It would be so simple for me. I could be eating your heart out of your chest before you take your last breath. But I'm not going too, I want you to face Grey with what you've done. You can have him Meela." I point towards Fin, "go ahead and smell him, pretend that it's Grey your smelling, it's Grey your kissing. Fin will always be second best isn't that right Fin. You will always be her second, never a first." I'm dripping with malice, spitting my venom filled words at them.

"I deserve this Victoria." Fins voice no longer soothing, instead, it's sand paper against my skin, abrasive leaving me raw and weeping.

"No you deserve so much more than this, so much more but I have a pup to raise, she needs me." Picking Charlie up off the counter holding her body close to mine. If I didn't have her than I think this would be a different situation, a different outcome.

Bile creeps up my throat, threatening to come out. "Fin, you can see your female anytime you want, stay away from me. I mean it, stay away. Meela if come near my female or me I will slice your throat open and feed your body to the crows. I hope that kiss was worth it, I hope you remember it over and over again." I turn my back on them. Heading out of the kitchen into my room. No tears come, it's too late for me, what I have to focus on is her and bringing her up better than I was.

I can hear a chair thrown across the room, maybe a table being flipped over...another smash of objects flying around and crashes against hard surfaces banging and startling the little female who begins to cry furiously. Her little lips open wide, fists clenched in the air, back arching. I just hold her closer, my comfort to a broken heart.

He opens the door, shoulders slightly hunched, if he had a tail it would be between his legs.

Entering my room, I give him nothing but my hateful silence. I just stare down at the bed where she's looking around. My eyes stare back at me....a perfect reflection of myself. His features aren't so strong in her. I am secretly thankful for this. I don't have to see his eyes all the time, or his face.

"Can we talk about this Victoria?" He sits on the edge of the bed, trying to catch my eyes.

"We have really nothing to talk about. I really have nothing more to say to you...Why don't you go talk to Meela, I'm sure she would love to talk to you Grey, oh...sorry, I'm bad......Fin...I'm sure she would love to talk with you." It feels good to just stab him, make him bleed against my thorns for once.

"I don't have an excuse, I did it and I'm sorry that you're so hurt. I never meant for this to happen. I never meant for you to lose your trust in me, in us. I can't make up for what I have done. I just hope that you can forgive me one day." His whole body is calm, holding his hands in his lap. Smiling towards our daughter, not showing his teeth. She just stares at him, imprinting his face into her mind. I love when her nature peeks through on instinct, make me know that her brain hasn't been affected by the early birth.

"I'll sleep in another room if you need me during the night.." I stop him before he says anything more.

"I don't need your help anymore, I can do this all by myself. I don't need you or want your help." He continue's to stare at her little helpless form. His fingers brushing against her cheek, little arms and legs kick out. She turns her head towards his fingers, mouth wide open, rooting around thinking she might get a quick meal. 

Always hungry, my pup is always wanting to eat.

"Go to Meela, she needs you. I'm done with you Finian." I continue to look at the female we made together, so perfect in every way.

"I hate you more than my father, you took first place, at least you'll be first at something." I keep my voice steady, controlled...no more room for feelings, they just eat you up like worms in an apple that are stuck on a tree. It eats you from the inside, rotting you from the inside until they wiggle out fat and ugly but you're left as an empty shell.

"Victoria, I have no excuse, it happened, I wish it didn't. I felt her Victoria, I felt her pain and misery, I felt how alone she was. No one is there for her, she's so fragile. She isn't like you. She was already drunk, I started to drink with her. I felt alone too, I felt so alone and we started talking, about the both of you. What we loved about you guys what we hated, what drove us crazy. Before you know it, we were crying together, I held her in my arms, and I could feel our connection. It's not like yours and mine but its there. She just looked at me so broken, I just kissed her, I take the blame for it, it was me. I touched my lips to hers. I just meant it as a fast kiss, just a comfort to her. But it didn't go like that, it was more. This is on me, not Meela. I pulled away from her and apologized." He's trying to hold my eyes but I won't look at him. Instead, my attention is on her, I thank the moon that I have her or else I'm not sure what would happen.

"All those years Fin that you hated me for Grey when I didn't now that he was your brother. All those wasted years, spent hating myself for betraying you. For ruining your life, the guilt that I had to live with, the countless nights I couldn't sleep because I would dream of your eyes and the moment you found out that I was with Grey. I hated myself so much, I hated everything about who I was. I want you to feel that now, I want you to know that you destroyed me....completely ruined me." I can see the rise and fall of his chest, tears streaming down his face, falling onto the bed.

"I want you to leave." He stays in his spot, rooted in place.

"I'm not going to leave, I'm staying here with you, I'm going to make this right somehow, but I'm not leaving you or her. You're everything to me, I will fight for us. Even if you're willing to throw it away, I'm not. It might take years to forgive me but I'm going to be right here waiting for that chance." He touches my arm, those same tingles are still there, they don't go away just because your mad. Our bond is unbreakable even though he's broken my trust, the bond is willing us to work things out.

"This can't be fixed Fin."