Just One More Time (COMPLETE) ✔️

Shattered

Cat's POV

I've locked myself in my townhouse for about a week, at least I think it's a week, I am having nightmares. I feel so violated, I've changed the locked, changed my phone number, again. I quit my job. Well, they won't let me quit so I'm on a leave of absence. Tom comes every night, knocks on the door, begging to come in, but I can't, I'm too tired. My body hurts, my brain hurts, but mostly my heart hurts. That bastard broke me again. I need Clair, I miss her so much, she knew what to say. I hope he gets a boyfriend in prison.

Bailey got 20 years total for everything that happened with Clair and with me. If you ask me that's not nearly enough. My lawyer did tell me he was assaulted, I couldn't be bothered to care. He deserves everything he gets.

I am wrapped in my white silk robe and nothing else, I keep showering, hoping this feeling of him washes away, I can still feel him touching me, sometimes I think I can smell him, that thought alone makes me vomit. I sit down in my window seat over looking the pond in my complex. The clock dings six and I know Tom will be here any minute. I need to tell him to stop coming, there's no chance for us, not now. Not when I'm so damaged, why make him suffer too. He's been nothing short of incredible for all these weeks but I can't add another thing to his or my plate. And just like that, there is a knock at my door. This time, I move to the door, I press my forehead to the door. He knows I'm there, he begs for me to let him in, I open it, but what I'm met with takes my breath away. Tom, in jeans, a white, wrinkled, button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up. The top two buttons undone. He still makes me tingle at just the sight of him. That isn't what takes me back though, it's the relief, and sadness in his eyes, the look of love, not lust. The look of years of worry etched in his perfect face. I realize now, I did that to him, and I feel incredibly guilty. My eyes well with tears at the thought of causing him more pain.

"I've been so selfish, I'm sorry." I whisper

He swiftly pushes his way in the room, shuts and locks the door, and envelopes me in a warm hug. I stiffen, not returning the hug, but slowly, as the hug lasts I melt into the embrace. The hug lasts for a long time, neither of us speaking a word. He then lifts me into his strong arms and heads for my bedroom. I panic.

"God no, please I'm not ready for that." I shiver and try to snake out of his grasp.

" Relax baby, I'm going to wash you, we are going to have a shower. Together, is that ok?" He coos in my ear, he places me on the bathroom counter and starts the water. I am too tried to argue and honestly, another shower sounds wonderful. Does he know I shower often? Does he think I'm as dirty as I feel? I'm mortified at the thought that he thinks I'm just as disgusting as I feel. He turns to me and starts, pealing off his clothes and my mouth goes dry. Damaged or not, this man is a fucking sight to see.

"I know your shower three or four times a day, Karen called me. I want to try something, if your willing." He says carefully.

"Wh, what else has she told you?" I studder embarrassed, how dare she share personal information.

"Cat, she's worried about you, she did it because she loves you too." He offers as if he read my mind. He steps forward and pulls the cord to my robe, it opens to reveal I am indeed naked underneath. His eyes explore my body, nothing but lust in his eyes, no sign of disgust, no sign that he doesn't want me. He slowly takes his hands and pushes the robe to the floor and I struggle not to cover my body. I'm left with just this heavy feeing of shame.

"I love you beautiful, you're incredible, your mind, your body, your smile, all of it. It's incredible. Let's get in, I'm going to wash him away for you, the only thing I want you to focus on, is me, touching you." He kisses me and I kiss him back. I melt into his kiss, missing it terribly, I've been so scared to let him see me like this, and again he surprises me.

"I'm scared." I whisper with my head down.

"I know baby, I'm not leaving you." He grabs my hand and leads me to the shower. The hot water feels good on my skin, like it's burning away the dirt bags touch. I feel Tom behind me, rubbing me with the loofa, it feels so good. He keeps going over my shoulders, whispering in my ear how much he loves me, how beautiful I am, I hold it together until he says, He is mine for as long as I want him, no matter how much Bailey has done, he will always want me. I start bawling at his words.

"He shattered me, I, I am never going to be the women you need, You need to leave, I do love you, I know I do, but this person I am now, I can't."I'm sobbing so hard my chest his heavy.

"Tell me beautiful, what do you really want, if you could do anything right now, what do you want?" Tom is gentle and calm, and I am taken aback by it. I take a deep breath and look into his eyes.

"I want to run away, I don't want to be here when or if B gets out, I want to start over again." I deadpan

"Than that's what we are going to do."

"what? You can't leave your business, I meant me, I want to run away. I meant it Tom, I'll be no good for you."

"You keep saying that but if we run away, we start over, together, we can have whatever life we want. I don't care about my business, I can do it from anywhere in the world, I can't give you up, I need to try  everything until there is no other options, do you want to try?" He asks hopeful.

I think for a long moment, my mother always says to me, love will come for me again when I least expect it. Is this it? Is this the love I've waited for? He wants me, that much I believe, but for the long run, do I want this tree of a man?

"Run with me." I whisper...