Magcon Group Chat || S.M.{ON HOLD}

70%

30 votes and 25 comments before I update the next chapter

Shawn💔: can we talk?
Erin: about?
Shawn💔: Us, Erin. We need to talk about us
Erin: i would, but i'm busy
Shawn💔: we can't keep pushing this off. i love you too much to let you go. please meet me at our spot in 45 minutes
Erin: i'll see you there

I sighed. Shawn and I still haven't spoken. He has tried to contact me but I keep telling him I need to think. I'm still a little mad/upset at him but I'm more worried about my parents getting to me, Jack, Johnson and him. I know punching him away probably isn't the answer but it's the only thing I know how to do. I push people away when I have something going on in my life. I push people away when I need them the most

"I'm going out for a bit. I'll be back later" I said to the Jack's as I grabbed my keys off the counter

"I'm glad you're going out but where are you going?" Gilinsky asked

"Um, Shawn wants to talk. So we're gonna meet up somewhere" I looked down at my feet because they know this is something I really don't want to do

"Are you okay with going by yourself?" he asked

"Yeah. I think we need to talk alone" I nodded

"Text me on your way home. I love you and don't stress" He came over to place a kiss on my forehead

"I will. Love you too" I half-smiled and walked out the door and down the stairs to the parking garage. I haven't been eating a lot lately and this is my second time out of the house in almost a month. I, unfortunately, have fallen back into depression and t's been really bad. Shawn doesn't know about this, but I think the only way I'm gonna get out of it this time is with his help. I've gone insane without him. Literally. My thoughts are everywhere as I drive up into the hills. There is this little lookout point where we always go to watch the sunset and sometimes the sunrise. There is never anyone there, a few hikers every-now-and-then but that's about it. Our own private place where we can be us. No faking it for any cameras. No fake smiled. Just us.

It took a while to get there because of the traffic, but once I arrived I seen Shawn, looking drained, sitting on the hood of his Jeep

"Hi" I said quietly as I walked up next to him

"Hi" he replied in the same tone

"I know I overreacted but Shawn, I can not stand the thought of you being with someone else. I cant stand being upset all the time. I cant stand not being with you. The last month of my life has been a living hell. I fell back into that goddamn depression and I keep slipping further into it. I cant sleep at night knowing that we're not talking. I haven't left the apartment at all. I miss you. I miss your hugs. Your kisses. The feeling I get when we're around each other. I miss staying up late watching scary movies with you. I miss it all and it's all my fault that I got you into this mess because if it weren't for me my parents wouldn't be blackmailing you into sending out nudes and Shawn, I am so so so so so fucking sorry" I cried. Everything just spilled out of me and I couldn't stop it. I haven't spoken about any of this to anyone and it feel amazing to get off my chest

"I'm not mad at you, Erin. I'm mad at myself for letting them get to me and breaking us up. I'm mad that I let you go like that. I should have fought harder to get you to stay. I am so sorry for everything. Don't blame yourself. I love you so much, baby. I cant stand not being with you either. I am so sorry that you are depressed again. It's all my fucking fault. People have been asking if we're still together and I don't know what to tell them, but seeing that you still have your promise ring still on, gives me hope and is making me think that we still have a chance. You're the first and only love of my life. There is just one thing I need to know." He rambled on like I did and then went to get something out of his car. He came back with a single rose in his hand

"Will you let it die or let it grow?" He asked handing me the rose, referencing his own song. I looked between him and the rose for a few seconds and then wrapped my arms around him tightly. Squeezing every ounce of him. I love this boy too much to let that rose die. The hug took him by surprise but when he realized what was happening, he hugged back 10x harder. He lifted me up so my legs could wrap around him

"I'll never let it die" I whispered after a few minutes of us hugging

"I love you" Shawn said and it sounded like he started to cry

"I love you so much more" I jumped down and wiped the tears that were under his eyes

"I'm gonna get you out of this depression. My angel needs to be happy" He cupped my face with his hands

"Just kiss me" I whispered, longing the feel of his lips on mine. He softly places his lips on mine as we were still very timid around each other, again. Almost like we're starting from the beginning

"Are we good?" Shawn asked me

"I hope" I smiled. We made plans to have dinner later tonight so we both had time to go shower and make ourselves look like we haven't been crying for a month straight

"I love you" He said as he got into his Jeep

"I Love you too" I whispered as I drove away in my car

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

so here ya go. I honestly don't know where to take this book so please comment or dm me ideas and I don't want to make this one of those book where she gets pregnant and then they live happily ever after because i'm personally  not a fan of books like that.  please help me out but I don't think i'm gonna make this book 100 chapters so it'll be soon coming to an end. I love you all so much. Thank you for reading