I love you, Mustang

Chapter 15

Roy's screams filled our hotel room, waking me up.

I jumped up from my bed and saw Roy flailing in his sleep, screaming his head off.

I ran to Roy's bedside and shook his shoulder.

"Colonel! Wake up!"

Roy jumped awake and looked at me, his eyes filled with sadness. He sat up as tears fell down his cheeks.

"Sir" I said, crawling up onto his bed. I pulled him into a hug. "It's okay, Colonel."

He cried on my shoulder for a few minutes before he composed himself enough to look at me. "I don't deserve anything I have, Lieutenant. My rank, my fiancée. Not even you. I deserve the worst death ever imaginable."

"Don't say that,sir, it's not true" I resting my head on top of his. "You deserve every single moment of happiness you have received."

"I've killed people, Riza... I killed two people who were in Ishval for the sole reason to save lives."

"We've both killed our fair share of people, Colonel, there's no reason to deny it. But sir, you can't think of the past. You have to look forward you have to work hard to reach your goal of becoming fuhrer, so one day you'll be able to call the shots."

"You're right." He sighed "I've never told you this Riza, but once the war in Ishval was over, I wanted to kill myself"

I gasped.

"I had the gun in my mouth, but I wasn't strong enough to pull the trigger."

"It's not that you weren't strong enough to pull the trigger."

"It's not?"

"You were strong enough to keep holding on and that's impressive in itself."

I tried to forget about how hypocritical my words were. Here I am, lecturing Colonel Mustang when I am planning to end my life.

He smiled, but it wasn't genuine, I could tell.

"Thanks Lieutenant. You always know how to cheer me up." He paused. "I'm scared to go to sleep now."

I patted his back. "You should try, sir. You have a busy day tomorrow."

I started to get up, but Roy grabbed my wrist. "Do you mind sleeping next to me tonight? I'll sleep better with someone close to me."

"Of course, sir." I replied as professional as I could. He didn't like me in that kind of way. He just needed comfort. Plus the fact that he belonged to Scarlett and that was how it would always be.

I laid down and Roy wrapped his arms around me. I rested my head on his chest and breathed in his familiar, comforting scent.

"I love you, Colonel." I whispered, catching my self too late.

Shit.

I cautiously looked up to see Roy already fast asleep.

I sighed in relief. He didn't hear me.

I forced myself to close my eyes and fell asleep, dreaming about the man I loved, while he dreamed of his perfect fiancée.