the diary | hummels/lewandowski

31

a/n: last chapter ;(

/:

Carina stared at the gates of St. Theresa's in complete misery. 2 weeks later, she was finally out of the hospital, and had somewhat gotten a hold on her emotions. It was Valentine's Day. She was alone.

She hadn't talked to Mats. And it wasn't like he didn't call, write, text, email, and use every form of communication possible in the beginning—she had just been ignoring him. Then that stupid phone she owned was a reminder of him, and she tossed it in the dumpster. She wrote him to ask for her grandfather's watch back. Then she auctioned the one of a kind watch off for nearly 3 million euros—because it no longer reminded her of her late grandfather, it only reminded her of Mats.

So, there she was; poor little Carina, back in hell only to pack her things. Lucy had said she made things easier by packing them for her, actually. And she would bring the suitcase to her, but she couldn't leave campus.

Carina shoved her hands in her pockets before walking on the road towards the Delta house. It had felt like years since she'd been to that school—in reality, it had only been two months. Still, word got around, and even the security guards gave her looks as she walked on the sidewalk.

Her mind was swimming as she entered the Delta house, her key still working and everything. Luckily everyone was in class, and the house seemed empty. She would just make things quick and easy—grab her suitcase, then leave.

As she entered her old bedroom, she looked around. There weren't really any memories associated with the place, anyways. She approached the window and stared out, but instantly gasped and jumped back. She could've sworn that she'd seen Mats there, staring up into the glass from the ground. But when she returned, there was no one there; only empty pavement and clean cut grass.

She quickly took some of her medications, grabbed her suitcase, and went to leave the room, but froze as Bridgette appeared in the doorway. Carina's face registered with fear. "I—I just came to get my things, I am sorry—"

Bridgette interrupted her. "No, I'm sorry."

Carina's eyes burned in fear. "What?"

Bridgette's face registered with regret. "I'll never see you again. So I just wanted to tell you that. That I'm sorry. I know it doesn't help anything." She fiddled with her fingers, lingering as if she wanted to say something else. But then she walked off, leaving Carina to blink in surprise. Bridgette was right; her apology had meant nothing.

Carina decided that she would wait in the house for Lucy. She would probably never see the American ever again, and having been Carina's only real friend, she figured Lucy deserved a proper goodbye. When Lucy returned home, she was holding hands with Joshua, who blushed when he saw Carina.

Carina smiled a little. "Well, when did this happen?"

"I don't know," Lucy grinned. "After you forced us to go to the formal together, perhaps? Anyways, what's up?"

"Well, I just wanted to thank you. And to say goodbye." Carina fiddled with her fingers. "I'll be going away. I don't think we will ever see each other again." Her eyes teared up a little, mascara running down her face. This time she at least knew that she was crying with reason; that she could be openly sad without shame in this moment. "I wanted to thank you...for all of the memories and the words of advice you gave me. And for always being honest. You're the only friend I've ever had, probably the only one I ever will have."

"Carina..." Lucy hugged her. "I wish you wouldn't make me so depressed. We'll see each other again, I know it. We'll just have to find a way." Lucy pulled away. Her eyes watered, too. She laughed a little. "Look at us, being so cheesy..." But then her laughter rescinded, and she began to sob. Lucy, who could almost always turn anything into a reason for her to smile, had nothing left. Carina left her like that, a sobbing mess. Only because she was a sobbing mess, too.