the diary | hummels/lewandowski

23

Carina had been so caught up in everything going on that she'd forgotten about the Winter Formal, which took place the night before winter break began—which was in four days.

She hadn't even thought about it until she stumbled across a flier for it pinned to the bulletin board filled with other fliers and announcements—it was rare that she ever stopped to look at it, but on that day, she found herself with nothing better to do.

"It's all dumb," a boy spoke, moving next to her. Startled, Carina looked up at him, then back at the flier. She cleared her throat.

"The dance?"

He nodded. "It's just an excuse, really. For people to dress up and show off and whatnot. Everyone here is so pretentious."

Carina cleared her throat, then turned to face the boy. "What's your name?"

He smiled, amused. "I've been your lab partner all year. We've had like, three conversations. Not to say I'm counting, but--"

"Oh," Carina blushed, then looked him over. "I do recognize you now. You cut your hair."

"Yeah..." he blushed, then turned back to the bulletin board. "A month ago."

"I am sorry," she admitted, "But I still don't know your name."

He turned to face her and cleared his throat. "Joshua."

"And I am Carina." She shook his hand. "Nice to meet you, Joshua."

"Well, we've really known each other for months now—"

"I should tell you to go away. I don't want you to commit social suicide by being seen with me." Carina let out a small girlish laugh, but a nervous one also.

Joshua shrugged. "I can't judge your character based off of what others say about you. But judging by our three chemistry conversations, you're a perfectly sweet girl."

Skeptically, Carina fumbled with her fingers. "Why are you talking to me? Was it a dare?"

Joshua smiled. "No. I'll admit that I've had a crush on you ever since we first sat next to each other, but was always too afraid to approach you. I mean, a lot of people have crushes on you, and no one could really compete with Robert or Alessandro—"

"Nobody has a crush on me. I'm the school slut now, according to the girls in my grammar class." Carina paused. "Well, nobody but you." And Robert, but that was more than a crush. "I guess what I want to know is what you hope to get out of talking to me. You will have to forgive me, since I am incredibly skeptical. If you want my affection, I can't give it to you. And if you want me to sleep with you, I won't."

Joshua blushed. "I—I was going to ask you to the dance," he blurted.

Carina blinked, surprised. "But you said it was stupid."

"Well, I changed my mind."

Carina stared at Joshua. He was cute, in a boyish kind of way. He seemed harmless. Then again, so did Alessandro. She bit her lip. "Give me your number," she responded. "I have to let you know."

She figured that before she promised him anything, it would be logical to ask around about him—to make sure she wasn't walking herself into anything stupid like last time. On her way home, she encountered Robert, who stopped her.

"Carina, I wanted to talk to you." He grabbed her wrist, gently, which she pulled away.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"I—well, Mats told me that he took you to a therapist yesterday."

"So?"

"So, how did it go? How do you feel?"