You murder my heart!

Horror

~ Marshall's POV ~

4 1/2 months later....

It was the end of April and Tina was now 6 months pregnant.
Our 'relationship' was still kinda cold from her side, but sometimes my wife let her guards down for a short while and that's when she was the 'old' Tina, the woman I loved so much. Actually my love for her had become even bigger, till the point of being unbearable and the reason for it was our baby. When her belly had started to show and she'd allowed me; yes, I'd really asked, to lay my hand on her stomach, it almost knocked me off my feet. That was the second I realized what I had done, I had destroyed my family, had taken away a normal life for my fourth child and had lost the love of my life. The only thing that kept my hope alive that one day she might would come back to me, was that she still hadn't filed for divorce. To be honest I didn't understand why, but the hell I'd do and ask her and probably remind her to do so.

My wife had also managed to smother my relationship with my daughters, which meant the world to me. I had already lost Tina and if my girls would've went on with giving me a hard time, I'd no one left who loved me. The girls had been overly happy when they'd heard about the baby and promised to support us in any way they could.

One week ago Tina had had another doctor's appointment and while I; for sure, had joined her, we'd found out about the gender of our baby. We would have a boy.

My first and only son......

It was heartbreaking when I'd seen the tears of my wife and how she'd looked at me. Her eyes had spoken volumes and ask silently why I had to destroy us.
The following weekend had been terrible for me and I tortured myself; like the past months, with the same question. Why couldn't I appreciate the treasure I had had right in front of me? Why did I have to stick my dick into another chick, when I had a wife who was simply perfect and satisfied me more than every other woman before her ever could?
I needed an answer to this, simply to prevent that; if she ever came back to me, I'd make the same mistake again.

You have to know your enemy, in order to beat him....

I did the only logical thing and talked to someone who had also experienced a hell lot in his life, someone who I thought would understand me. But not one of my friends, I sat down and called Elton John.....

3 hours later I had my answer. I had never learned what it means to have a stable relationship. Every relationship before was fucked up in some way, starting with my mother, then Kim and lastly all the other bitches, I never had someone that came even close to Tina. She was loyal, honest, faithful, attributes I'd never experienced with a woman. He gave me the advice to sit down and write two lists, 1 with Tina characteristics and a few hours later; after doing something else, the 2nd with what the woman that I dreamed off should have. Afterwards I should compare those lists and whatever matched, I should take an example for it and cherish it. Let me tell you not one fuckin' thing didn't match. Honestly Tina had even more than I ever wanted and I felt like a bum, but at least now I had my answer.

Today was Monday, 27th of April and I was sitting on the mixing board in my recording studio at Shady Records, while Royce was in the booth and layed his lyrics for one of our songs for the 'Southpaw'-Soundtrack. It would be the last song for the album and we had to finish it by tomorrow. I was just about to correct him, when Mira basically ran into the studio her eyes widened, all pale and gesturing wildly with her hands.
"Boss.... oh gosh...." she let out and I looked at her confused and so did Denaun beside me.
"Yo, Mira, calm yo shit. The fuck happened?" I asked her half jokingly and she took a few shaky breaths.
"Harper University Hospital called, they couldn't reach you...." she started and instantly I jumped up.