You murder my heart!

Effed up big time (pt.1)

2 days.....

It's been 2 whole days since the 'bitch-incident' and since Marshall and I wasn't talking to each other.
He was pissed about what I'd said to him and I was pissed because of the way he reacted and that he had no intentions of even trying to understand me. To be honest I hated this situation, I hated to not talk to him, not holding him or kissing him and while the first time it was out of anger, now it was about pride and I wouldn't cave in this time.

I wouldn't budge....

This stupid argument was something he had started and I definitely wouldn't be the one to say 'sorry' for what I believed was right. Last night he even slept on the couch; probably to prove a point, but while I hated to not sleep beside him, I hadn't stopped him. I loved my husband more than anything, but he could be a huge prick and his pride was way too high sometimes.
So while this morning he'd went to the Label; surely without saying 'bye', I had gotten ready to meet with Mika and Ashley for a coffee.

"Ugh, I hate you for looking like this." Ashley greeted me with a fake annoyed expression and I chuckled and hugged her quickly.
"I can't change it." I told her with a wink and she huffed out and let me greet Mika.
"The guys are mad as hell that we went with you." She informed me and I shook my head. "But honestly, fuck 'em! They would've flipped the shit when someone had done to us what happened to Em, so they should sit their asses down and shut it." I chuckled from her words and Ashley looked confused from one to the other.
"Care to tell me what you talking about?" She asked and before Mika could open her mouth, I jumped in.
"We had a stupid argument with some chicks at New year, nothing really interesting." I said and shook my head, hardly visible, at Mika so she wouldn't talk on. It wasn't that I didn't trust Ashley, but admitting that some chick had accused my husband of raping her and I'd beaten her ass into oblivion, that's something not everyone needed to know.
Ashley had left after 20 minutes because Nate had called and now Mika and I were alone and for sure talked about our men.

"He isn't even talking to me..." I sighed out, "and yesterday he even slept on the couch." Mika shook her head and started laughing.
"You would believe that the great 'Slim Shady' isn't behaving like a stubborn kid when he's in trouble with his wife." She stated and I laughed out.
"The thing is, I guess he's concerned that I could get in trouble for beating the shit out of her, but the way he showed his concern made me flip."
"Why? I mean you don't have to tell me, but I've met Em and her a few times before and I don't understand how they went from bein' happy to despise each other." My jaw dropped from her statement and I stared at her in utter disbelief. "What? Did I say something wrong?" I huffed out while already boiling inside.

And again the bastard had lied to me....

"Well, my dear husband had told me that he and the bitch only had a 'fuck-relationship' before I met him" I explained and put the words with my fingers in quotation marks "and don't forget that he never introduced her to any of his friends."
"Well I don't know about what was going on between them before you two met, but while you were separated end of last year, he introduced her to us and brought her with him a few times." Mika had stopped talking and looked at me while knitting her eyebrows. "Tina, you look like you're about to explode." She was right, I was about to completely lose it but I needed more to really flip on him this time.
"When was the last time you saw them together?" I asked and added "Mika this is important, so please be as exact as you can be." She nodded, squeezed her eyes shut and kissed her teeth, before giving me the answer I hoped and prayed I wouldn't hear.
"September last year. I remember that he had to fly out to Atlanta to perform there and we all met at Denaun's place."

We were already in contact again that time....

I actually didn't know if I should scream or cry or both, I just knew that I couldn't sit here and do nothing. "Tina, tell me the truth, how bad is it?!" Mika went on and I took a deep breath before I answered her.
"Bad enough to divorce him." I admitted and her jaw dropped.
"Oh gosh, no! Tina listen, you can't leave him. We all know that he loves you like crazy, he'd completely lose it."
"Believe me he wouldn't lose it. You wanna know what he'd do? He'd call the bitch I'd just almost beaten to death because of him. God I'm so stupid....." I breathed out and Mika grabbed my hand on the table and squeezed it.
"You're not stupid, don't ya say that. You love him..." she let her voice trail off and looked at me compassionately and I took a deep breath while I decided what I'd do next.
"Mika, don't be mad, but I gotta go now." I told her and she nodded. After a quick hug, I grabbed my handbag and speed walked out to my car. It was time to pay him and the guys a visit......

"Ma best...." Royce greeted me with a smile when I'd walked into the Label and I instantly cutted him off.
"Did you know?" I asked and his expression changed into confusion.
"What ya talkin' about?"
"Did you know that he was with Tess while we were separated and even while I'd already decided to give him another chance?" I asked him aggravated and the second he bowed his head I had my answer. "You knew...." I breathed out, overly disappointed and hurt that my best friend had basically lied to me. "You pressured me to give him another chance. You basically helped him to screw me over...." I yelled out and Royce cutted in.
"T. he loves you, I just..."
"Fuck you! Fuck you, Royce! I trusted you and you lied to me! We're so fucking done!" I yelled at him and before he could reply I stormed down the hallway towards the lounge area.

A lot of guys were actually here and all turned their heads when they saw me standing in the threshold.
"Tina, hey, nice to see ya!" Denaun greeted me while walking towards me, but I raised my hand to stop him.
"Everyone who didn't know that my husband and Tess were in a relationship, should now better leave this room!" I stated loudly and while a few of the guys left, Yela, Denaun and Swifty stayed and I looked at my husband who had went completely pale.
"How could you?" I asked him and all he did was breathing heavily and bowing his head. "Coward!" I spat out and turned to the others who had all sat down and looked uncomfortable at me. "Good, then let's try to get an answer from y'all. Till when was he in a relationship with her?" I asked and Royce walked in from behind me.
"Tina...." he started with a soothing voice and I turned my head and glared at him.
"If you wanna tell me the truth you're welcome to talk, but other than that we're fucking done, Ryan!" He nodded and after he'd plopped down beside Marshall, he took a deep breath and started.
"Aight, listen...." I took a chair and sat down and waited for him to continue, but my husband cutted him off.
"Don't, man. Don't tell her!" He begged and Royce huffed out and looked at him.
"Why not? She already knows, it's better to be honest with her." I laughed out sarcastically and they all looked at me confused.
"Honesty is a word he doesn't know, don't try to explain it to him. But go on, tell me how you all pretended to be my friends and family while stabbing me in the back." I gestured with my hand for him to go on and now Denaun spoke up.
"Tina we are your friends, actually that's why we helped him to get ya back..." he started and leaned forward, propping his arms up on his upper thighs. "Look, you two love each other and we all know that. When Royce dragged you to the afterparty, we made sure to get the bitch out so she wouldn't get in the way of you two talking to each other...."
"She was there?" I asked him startled and he nodded.
"I know it was a shit move from us to not tell you, but..." he stopped and exhaled deeply. "Look, when he told us that you're 'bout to give him another chance, you know after your birthday, we all actually thought he'd cut off the contact with the chick, but then he brought her with him again during the time before you two flew out to the Maldives and..."
"You've been with her until then?" I cutted Denaun off, my question and attention turned to Marshall now and he did nothing. "Answer me!" I yelled and he raised his head, looked at me and nodded. "So let me get this straight...." I started calmly, while inside I was on the verge of a break down. "Y'all knew that he....." I swallowed the lump to not cry and opened my necklace with the locket on it which he had given me. "That he was in a serious relationship with her. That he was with her during my birthday, during I flew to Atlanta and during the time before we got married?!" They all nodded and while I'd already got the locket off my necklace, now I stood up, took my engagement and wedding ring off my finger and walked over to him. Marshall had sat up straight, his eyes outlined with water and I threw the 3 pieces in his lap.
"We're done! I'm filing for divorce!"