The badboy's boy

The bad boy's boy past

I stare at myself in the mirror. I was his nightmare. And yet he wants me. After all I did to him.

I wasn't worthy of him. Not after all I did to him. I felt enraged and disgusted at myself.
I was a monster towards the boy I actually like, the awful things I did to him.

And why? Only to have friends. I made him fall from the swing, drenched him with water. For friends that ditched me right after he left.

(Flashback to vietnam)

He was walking in front of us.
"Let's make the baby cry" Richie said laughing. Me and the rest of the boys agree by laughing and nodding.

Richie walks faster so he could catch up with Him. Within a blink of my eyes richie pushes him on the floor. I hear gasps and then followed by laughter.

But when he turns around and I see the out come I instantly regret it. Regret ever laughing at him.

He looked at richie and his eyes fell on me. He smiled a little. But I look away. Laughing with my friends.

"Look the baby wants to cry" Finian laughs.
I pity him, his glasses broken, his face red. And grey eyes screaming that they wanted to cry. And he does, he burst into cries.

And that's it. That's what richie wanted. That's what we wanted. We walk away leaving him there, a crying mess.

I sob holding my head. I can't believe I did that to a boy, to mateo. I supported those things. I supported bullying.

I supported the fucked up things they did to him. To my mateo. The boy I lo....

And not only did I support it. I did those things to him. I made his feel pain. Because of us he didn't have friends.

"Come on Evan" Finian chanted behind me. I shook my head. No they already did so much to him today.

"You're afraid of him" Richie taunts me.
"No I'm not" I said taking the water bottle out of his hand.

I walk upto him, he was sitting alone on a bench. I smile as I approach him, opening the cap.
He smiles back at me.

His smile didn't even have the time to reach his eyes. I empty the whole water bottle onto him. He takes his glasses off and whipes his eyes.

And stares at me. But not in hatred . No he's smiling. Smiling like he was happy.

"Evan made the baby wet" Finian screams.

A few people who were still waiting for the bus were laughing.

But he didn't care about them at the moment. No he just continued to smile at me, until Richie drags me away from him.

But I didn't mind, I didn't like the cry baby.

I fully burst into tears. He wasn't the cry baby. No he was strong.
I ruined him into his current state. No wonder kyle hates me. I even hated myself. I didn't deserve his feelings. I didn't deserve him.

But what I did deserve was his hatred.

To think about what happened that day. His last day.
What I did to him that day.

It was like he knew what we were going to do. He kept looking over his shoulder back at us.
He glanced back on more time at us before taking a step on the  staircase.

"I don't think we should do it" Finian said behind me.
"Don't act like a scaredy cat" I said picking up my pace. He knows we were right behind him.

"Come on do it" Richie chanted standing at the top of the stairs.

I take a deep breath. He turns around and at the exact same moment I push him down the stairs. He wouldn't die, it were atleast six steps down.

I look at him, in his grey eyes.
I try to reach for him but it was a little late. He was falling down.

"How could you do that !" Finian exclaimed. I shrug nonchalantly. I didn't care.

"Come on. Let's go !" Richie screams at us.
We quickly walk away. If we got caught it would be a nightmare. My mother will kill me!

I stood in front of the school waiting for my mother. How was I going to tell her I got detention?

“Evan”

“Evan ?” I turn around to see who was calling me. It was finian.

“Yeah?” I ask tapping my feet impatiently.
“Did you heard what happened to the cry baby?” he asked me. I shook my head. The cry baby wasn't my problem.

“He left school.” he said.
“Oh?” I didn't know how to react. Why should I care?

“I think we pushed it.” Finian said before walking away. He was  saying  the truth. We did overdo it. It's a wonder that he didn't crack his head.

I felt sorry for him but I didn't care for him. I don't like him. I didn't even know him.

But I did feel sorry for him. I did care for him. I did like him.

He wasn't the bad person. I was I treated him like he wasn't worth being my friend. I treated him like a piece of shit.

Why didn't I just excepted his friendship ? If I did neither of us would have gone through this.

"Hey" A boy said sitting beside me in a chair. I stare at him.

"What's your name?" he asked. I turned away and looked at the other kids.

"Helloooo" he said poking my arm. I pull my arm away.

"I just want to be friends " he said pouting at me.
I look at him shaking my head.

"Don't you want to be friends with me?" he whispers.

"No…"

"But…" he started but couldn't finish because I had gotten up and walked away.

This whole thing is my fault. If I had just said yes. If I had treated him better he wouldn't be this way. He wouldn't have done those things to me. But I deserved it.

What goes around comes around. I did that to him and he did it to me. It was a faire deal.

I paid for my sins. I paid for the awful things I did to him.