Ruins || The Vampire Diaries [2]

32: Let Her Go

   Time had passed me fast. Either seconds or minutes, but I knew it was longer since the light from the window had changed. There was a bit of light coming in, the sun slowly rising from the horizon. It always rose in front of my window, both a comforting and annoying thing. It was the many reasons why I always stared out my window, seeing the sun rise and the sunlight touch everything it could. There were times where I thought that the sunlight was a blessing, as if when it touched me I was forgiven for the many things that I had done.

   I let out a sigh and rubbed my eyes, a small comfort. It had been a long night, from Liz's death to trying to comfort Caroline. I had tried to comfort Caroline, but I was terrible at it because I didn't know how to comfort someone. When someone died, it was mostly because I killed them or because something we indirectly did. They were people that mattered little to me, little to the people around me. When my grandmother died, it was my sisters and mother that comforted me. When I died...

   When I died, blood comforted me. 

   I ran a hand through my hair and breathed in deeply, inhaling the scent from the fire crackling in the kitchen and the open bottle of alcohol resting on top of the piano. By now, the piano had several water stains from the many drinks I had shared over it. I stood and went towards the piano, pouring myself a glass of the alcohol I somehow sneaked from Damon. Okay, maybe he saw and he allowed me to grab it because he had been too busy writing Liz's eulogy.

   Caroline walked into my room, a glass of water in one hand and her other hand tucked underneath. "You're awake," she said, almost in surprise.

   "I couldn't really sleep," I honestly said, giving her a small smile. "What's wrong?"

   She shook her head. "Nothing, I just..." She laid the glass of water on the piano and ran her hands through her face. "I was going to get in bed with you because it's what I did with Mom whenever I felt sad." A small, saddened smile spread around her lips. 

   I stared at her, my fingers taping one by one against the glass in my hand as I thought of what to do. Ever since Liz fainted during Christmas and we found out she had cancer, I had tried my best to be closer to her but had failed. This was a moment I could use to actually help her, so I smiled and grabbed her hand. "Care, we're family—you don't have to explain anything to me. You don't even have to ask! Here." I pushed the glass of alcohol towards her. "You need this more than I do."

   "I do." She downed the drink, then let out a breath as if it had burned her throat. "I'm scared, Clara..."

   "Of?"

   "I don't want to be alone," she cried, shaking her head. "I-I'm scared of being alone, Clara."

   I immediately wrapped my arms around her and gave her a tight hug. "Care, you're never going to be alone, okay? You have Elena, and Matt, and Tyler, and Stefan, and Bonnie when she returns, and Damon, as much as it will surprise you. You also have me, and I won't ever leave you alone." I pulled away from her and gave her a big smile, forced but still there. "So, right now, just tell me what to do and I will do it. Anything."

   She wiped away her tears and nodded, a small laugh escaping her lips. "I made a list," she said, as if she were confessing. "Well, several lists. It's the only way I could get my head together." She pulled several folded pieces of papers from her pocket. "This is a list of people I need to call, and this is all the information I need, and this a to-do list. It's full of things that normally takes a week, but I just need them to be done today."

   "Okay." I grabbed the list and nodded. "Take a shower, refresh yourself, and I will assemble our small army so we can get this done fast." I forced another big smile, then walked out of my room.