Ruins || The Vampire Diaries [2]

31: Stay

   The image of Liz almost dying was fresh on my mind. It replayed over and over again, as if it were a film that got stuck on replay. The image was vivid, to the point where I could feel my hands pressing against her chest and hear the distant beep of the heart monitor. It was the reason why I was tired, why my body slumped with fatigue wherever I was. Sleep was distant, and so was sitting still. Liz, a woman I considered like a mother, was slowly dying and there was nothing I could do about it but watch her perish.

   There were several knocks coming from the open door, but I still jumped. Damon stood there, an arm against the doorway while the other rested on his waist. "Well, you're jumpy," he noted as he walked in. "What's wrong with you? You've been in this trance for weeks."

   I shrugged my shoulders. "Damon, I'm tired, so whatever you have to say, say it now."

   He pursed his lips and half-rolled his eyes as he waved a hand. "Oh, please, you haven't slept in days so I know that's a lie." He stood in front of me, both hands on his waist and his eyes burning holes into my skull. "I just got back from the high school with Elena; I compelled Principal Weber to let Jeremy graduate early. I mean, I compelled him into art school in Santa Fe, so I guess he should thank me for his future." He stopped talking and sighed, taking a seat besides me. "Okay, enough moping."

   "I'm not moping," I mumbled as I pressed two fingers to each side of my temple. "I'm just tired, okay?"

   "Tired or miserable?"

   "Aren't they the same thing?" I sighed and turned to him, shaking my head. "Liz is dying, Damon. She's slowly dying and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm miserable because she..." I took a deep breath and looked towards the open door, focusing on the wooden wall in front of it so I wouldn't end up crying again. "I'm miserable because she reminds me so much of my mom; because I care so much about her; because she and Caroline are the only family members I have left. After she's gone, it's just going to be Caroline and I, who are basically dead."

   Damon was quiet for several seconds, until a chuckle escaped his mouth. "Wow, okay, that's a lot. I thought you were just miserable because you and Stefan were in a complicated stage of your relationship."

   Stefan and I weren't fighting, because to fight one had to talk. After we slept together the night Liz almost died, we rarely spoke. There was small conversation when we were in the same room, smiles, a simple peck on the lips, and then nothing. The kisses were forced, as if he wasn't sure whether he wanted to kiss me. It wasn't a fight. We were slowly separating, but we were too afraid to actually do it.

   "Yeah," I breathed, unsure of what to say.

   "Okay!" Damon slapped his hands against his knees as he stood. "Come on, we're going to give Jeremy the good news that he got to graduate early."

   "I can't go," I said. "I have to go to Liz; it's her last day of work and she's going to spend the rest of her days in peace and tranquillity at the cabin. Caroline wants me to drive down there with her." Those words sounded distant as I said them, tasted bitter.

   "Lucky for you, I'm also going," he said. "Caroline called this morning and said that I should help, because you've been distant lately." He followed me as I moved around the room, as if he were making sure I wouldn't leave. "Is it because she and Stefan are getting close?"

    "Why are you so nosy?" I opened the closet door and peered inside, grabbing the first thing my hand touched. "This has nothing to do with that. I just realised that the people I love are mortal, and I can't really die, and that sucks."

   He sighed. "I'm not one to have these heart-to-heart conversations, so I'll be waiting downstairs."

  In a second, I was alone again. My hands dropped to my side, the piece of clothing falling to the floor. I had been alone many times, practically became friends with Loneliness, but it still became strange once it began again. A sigh escaped my lips as I leaned down to grab the piece of clothe that fell.