Thoughtful Rope

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Giovanna’s POV

This is what I wanted right? I wanted to see me family. I wanted to be with Jesse. I wanted to get out of that house.

When Jesse showed up at the door I didn’t know how to react. Happy? Surprised? Shocked? Never did I expect angry. Never did I expect David to do what he did.

But it all comes down to what was inevitable. I wanted to leave, not just for the sake of not getting too close. Because we all know how that’s been doing. But my doubts, such as the ones from the other night, have been increasing. Quickly. I was only being used to break the curse. And besides, what if I didn’t break it? I would be a failure. The sad girl who was useless to the man she loves.

Loves?

No! It wasn’t love. I loved the attention he gave me. I’ve been living with him for months. I haven’t seen many other guys. I loved the idea that I could actually live in some kind of a fairytale. But I didn’t love him. I needed time away to just clear my head. That’s why I’ve been thinking about leaving. I could save myself the disappointment, all while getting the freedom I need to understand my real feelings. I just didn’t know how I was going to ask for that. And now the opportunity presented itself, I didn’t know how to react. I was at first, relieved. And then, pissed. He lied. He knew how I felt about Jesse. I was so foolish to tell him my thoughts. How could I’ve trusted my captor? I shouldn’t have listened to Josh and his ‘fate’ crap. I control my future. No one decided that this would happen except for me.

Parts of me fought over what seemed right and wrong. Was it right to feel like a piece of shit? Should I be happy?

I’m seeing my family, of course I should be happy!

My sure mind faltered when my hand brushed against the IPod and earbuds in my pocket. I felt my frown deepen with every step I took.

“Giovanna?” I hadn’t noticed that we were almost at the driveway of my house. Jesse had stopped and was now a couple of steps behind me. I plastered a smile on my face and spun around. “Yeah?”

“I’m guessing you weren’t listening?”

“Sorry.”

He walked closer and grabbed my hands.

“Listen, I get what just happened must be hard. I know you’ve been living there for a while now and it’s tough having a friend just lie to you like that. I  just wish that I found you sooner. Maybe I could’ve saved you the pain. But I want you to know that I’m here now and I won’t be able to get rid of so easily. You got that?”

I was taken back by his sudden outpour that I could only nod. He gave me a small smile while he continued holding one hand and walked forward.

We stopped in front of my house. The yellow paint still looked faded. The porch still had baseballs and basketballs and whatever other balls you could find really. The garden was still small and half dead. It felt so unfamiliar compared to David’s house. His garden; big and full of lively flowers. But that wasn’t home. This was.

“Giovanna!” Matt came running out and jumped into my arms. Gina was one step behind him and followed his lead. I could feel their tears against my skin as it easily washed away my doubts at that moment. I was home. Any pang in my gut or heart was ignored and overpowered by the love I felt in that moment.

It wasn’t until Jesse pointed out the dark clouds did we finally go back inside. Once we took a seat in the living room, that’s when I noticed how unhappy Matt looked. I was about to ask him why, but then Gina began talking.

“How’d you escape? How did you find her? Oh my gosh I can’t believe you’re here. With us. Physically!”

I couldn’t help the smile that spread across face as the realization of the fact that I was home really hit me.

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