Broken Pieces

42

42

     “I don’t want you going into work this morning, Sam.”

     “You’re obviously feeling a little better. I’ll be back before you know it. My shift is short today.”

     “No, Sam. I don’t want you to go. After everything that happened yesterday, both of us need time off.” He crossed his arms over his chest, but fidgeted uncomfortably as if it caused him pain.

     “It’s only a four hour shift, Elliot. I won’t be gone long-”

     “You won’t be gone at all. I can’t take that risk, darling. You’re in too much danger there.”  His arms involuntarily fell back down to his sides and he sighed.

     “I’m not in as much danger as you are.”

     “That’s bull crap. You’re staying here.”

     “No, I’m going to work.” I stepped around him and into the hallway.

     “No, you’re not!” His fingers wrapped around my upper arm and whirled me toward him.

     My eyes narrowed and my lips pressed into a thin line as his voice rose with every refutation. Anger began to burn deep in my chest as I stared at him. “Elliot, let go of me,” I whispered.

     His grip loosened slightly but remained firm on my skin. He stared harshly back at me as if he was hiding something… defending something. “You’re staying here.”

     “I’m going to work.”

     His hand snapped away from my arm as if I’d burned him. “You don’t understand,” he said, suddenly quiet.

     I almost didn’t hear him over the sound of my footsteps toward the door. It would have been better—easier—if I hadn’t. But I wasn’t going to stay there just for him to tell me what to do.

     I grabbed my keys in my left hand and took a deep breath as I gripped the doorknob in my right.

     “Wait… please…” Elliot whispered.

     “You can’t be such a tyrant and expect me to just go along with it,” I said without turning to face him.

     “I know, sweetheart, I know. I’m sorry…” I felt his fingers gently brush my skin where he’d grabbed me moments before.

     My teeth sank into my bottom lip. We stood there for what seemed like hours, waiting for something to come up from the unknown and swallow the silence between us. My hand remained frozen on the cold metal as if it was the only thing keeping me alive. The uncertainty and fear weighed down the air surrounding us to the point of becoming unbearable.

     “I’m scared, Sam.”

     “What?”

     “I’m scared… I’m terrified. I can’t let this happen to you.” I didn't have to be facing him to know exactly what he was talking about. “I can’t let you get hurt and I can’t lose you… I’m more scared than I’ve ever been in my life, Sam, and I need you to stay here. I’ll know you’re safe. Nobody can hurt you… I need you to stay here.”

     I sighed and felt my eyes close. “Elliot-”

     “Please, darling. I can’t let this happen to you.”

     My hand fell away from the doorknob as I slowly faced him. His eyes screamed with desperation, begging to be comforted. “I won’t go.”

     A tear gleamed as it made its way down his face and fell onto his bruised, bare chest. I reached up and brushed it away gently, feeling his shaky breath under my fingers.

     “I’m so scared, Sam.” He folded me into his arms and buried his head into my neck. “I’m scared because I don’t know what to do and I don’t know how to keep you safe… hell, I don’t even know how to keep myself safe. And I can’t lose you. I can’t let you get hurt-”

     “Shh. You aren’t going to lose me. I’m not going anywhere. And you think it was only business, remember?”

     “I know, but that man… the one that pulled a knife on you… he’s loose. You can’t tell me that doesn’t scare you, because all I can think about while you’re at work is whether you’re safe or not.”

     “I was okay, Elliot. I still am. Not a scratch on me.”

     He picked his head up off of my shoulder, tears reflecting the fear in his eyes, and stroked my cheek. “That’s the way I want to keep you… totally safe.”

     I nodded and smiled softly. “We’ll be okay.”

…

     The rattle of pills bouncing in a bottle stirred me from a sleep I wasn’t aware I’d drifted into. I yawned largely and stretched the drowsiness away from my muscles.

     “Elliot?”

     He turned and faced me as he tossed medicine into his mouth. “Hey, sweetheart.  I didn’t mean to wake you.”

     “No, it’s fine,” I said through another yawn. “I didn’t mean to go back to sleep.”

     “You needed it. You were up very late last night,” he teased as he bent down to kiss my forehead.

     “Are you going somewhere?” I glanced up and down his body—hair still slightly wet from a recent shower, nice jeans and a button-up shirt—and back up at him in confusion.

     “Yeah, uh, I forgot I had an appointment today. It’ll only be about an hour, I think, and then I’ll be back.”

     “But Elliot-”

     “I would stay if I could, sweetheart, but I have to be there.” His fingers apologetically combed through my hair and he stood.

     “Are you sure…”

     “Yes, darling. I’ll be fine.” He turned to leave and Cooper ran towards him from across the room. “I’ll be back buddy. I’d take you with me, but I figure you’d rather stay with Sam.” Elliot pet the top of Cooper’s head.

     “Come here, bud,” I called to him as Elliot shut the front door behind him. “You think he’ll be okay?”

     He hopped up onto the couch next to me and laid his head in my lap, a comforting feeling in the midst of the panic that raced through my mind.

     "To be honest... I'm as terrified as he is."