Breathe Me | Jikook

4

Jimin-hyung

"From Jimin." Jungkook added as he flipped his paper over so he couldn't see the atrocity he had drawn. Stupid lack of motivation, stupid lack of passion, stupid broken pencils.

"I have to poop." Taehyung's voice carried through the door. "Don't rush me."

Jungkook let his head fall back, which put his neck at an awkward angle due to the chair. The overhead light in his room nearly blinded him so he closed his eyes.

"I'm going to call it a day." Jungkook said. School hadn't gone well, he was failing two classes, he wanted to jump off the nearest cliff, and he obviously wasn't qualified to teach Taehyung how to properly draw because Jungkook couldn't even do that himself.

When he thought about school, it didn't bother him much. He knew his education was important and that his four in English was horrible, but that didn't scare him; it didn't stress him out. However, when he thought about the mental block that was slowly building between him and what he loved to do, what he needed to do, he became terrified.

Taehyung's phone went off again. Jungkook hated how loud it was, how jarring it was. It was why Jungkook always kept his phone muted and tucked in his pocket; he didn't want the distraction to take him away from that safe place in his mind.

Jungkook was currently trying to get to that place. It wasn't an emergency, or a severe situation, but that was where he was comfortable and it was where he wanted to be. It was where he felt the most stable.

The phone went off for a third time.

Jungkook's eyes snapped open. He reached for the phone, hand not exactly steady, and looked at the messages that were on the screen.

Jimin-hyung
Thank you for doing the backup vocals for my cover yesterday

Jimin-hyung
You were really good

Jimin-hyung
my teacher loved the cover, btw, we should collab again

Vocals? Collab? Who was this guy and what did Taehyung do in his spare time? A vocalist? Taehyung, singing?

Jungkook was curious. He knew that he and Taehyung had grown apart, and that they hadn't exactly been the closest, but surely Taehyung would have mentioned doing backup vocals, right? Taehyung had always told Jungkook what he was trying to do and what he wanted to do, ever since they were kids.

Jungkook put the phone down. It wasn't any of his business. If Taehyung didn't want him to know, then Jungkook wouldn't know. He would let Taehyung have his privacy away from the mopey, quiet mess Jungkook was. It wasn't like Jungkook told him everything either.

The door to the bathroom opened and Taehyung stepped out, wiping his hands on his pants because they had been wet from washing them. His brown eyes landed on Jungkook, who had been stretching out in the chair, the bones in his back popping. Taehyung stared for a moment, his dark blonde hair messy on his forehead.

"You're out of toilet paper." Was the first thing he said. The second was, "And I have to go home. It's dark."

"Okay." Jungkook said as Taehyung walked over and grabbed his paper, haphazardly shoving it in his bag before slinging the bag over his shoulder.

"Thank you for helping me. Can we do this once a week?"

Jungkook nodded, even though he really didn't want to do this again. It was draining, a struggle, and it forced him to realize and face another one of his numerous problems.

"Thanks." Taehyung said, "I'll see you at school tomorrow."

Jungkook nodded again as his stomach dropped, and Taehyung left his room. As soon as Taehyung shut the door behind him, he felt himself relax against the chair, the tension leaving.

But then he thought about the things he had to do next week.

He thought about the therapy session he had yet to convince his parents to cancel.

He'd been too scared to bring the subject up to his parents, and they hadn't mentioned it to him. The thought of going to that session made him want to puke. He had to tell his parents that he was getting better, he had to present the evidence he had.

Of course, the only evidence he had was a near finished meal and an evening spent with Taehyung. Was that enough? Could it be enough? Would his parents see how big of a deal it was that he got out and accomplished these things?

"Jungkook!" His mother's voice broke through his thoughts, penetrating a thick fog. "Dinner! And why did you kick Taehyung out so fast?"

It seemed as though he was about to get a chance to find out whether or not it was enough. And the fact that he didn't feel like eating was not a very good sign of what could happen.

With heavy feet and an even heavier heart, Jungkook left his room and began the descent down the stairs and into someplace grey. Not dark, but not light. Somewhere he had to force himself to be so he could force an airiness in his face, an lightness in his limbs, and a shine in his eyes.

Everything was taut, but it was there. And maybe, maybe, that would be enough to convince his family that he was perfectly okay.

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An:
Short chapter. Meant to update sooner, life got in the way ;-;
Catch me ouT HERE CRYING

So in terms of the story, Im building. Be scared.

Lmao just kidding thank you for reading and goodnighttttt
Or good morning 💞