Everything is silent as I don't say anything, he wants me to though. "Say something!" He pleads.
"Sometimes... it feels like my world is falling apart around me, and I hate that I can't do anything about it. My own life... and I can't control it, it's kinda sad right? Sometimes, I need it to stop... all of the pain, it's just too much. You were never there for me, Valentino. In the beginning I was nothing, it didn't matter that you killed my brother- I was still nothing, just another problem you faced and had to deal with. But the thing is, now I'm realising that you didn't want to deal with the pain I was feeling. I seemed like a terrible person when my brother died, joking around, not trying everything in my mind to get away from you, just not trying hard enough. But the truth is.... I gave up. Nothing in me wanted to feel, so I tried pushing all this hurt away- I tried distracting myself and now I realise that I'm a terrible person for not trying. Kane would be so disappointed in me, I-I just sat at the breakfast table with the people that murdered my brother. What type of sister am I? What type of person am I!? Not a good one. And I keep coming back to this whole Kane thing, every time I think that the hurt is gone... it comes back. And I need to know Valentino, I need to know why you did what you did. Why did you kill my brother? Why did you kill Kane?"
The tears are falling, one by one but I can't seem to care. I need to know, I need to be at peace. He needs to tell me so we can stop bringing this up every time, of course the pain will still be there. But maybe it will be a dull ache instead of feeling like someone's shot me. His mouth is opening and closing, like a guppy. "Willow... Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making you this way, for ruining you and making you so.... sad. It hurts seeing you like this, you know what? The truth is that I never cared. I never cared because no one taught me how to. My father made sure I didn't care about anything, he needed me to be the best I could be to take over the gang. And... And I'm lost, it's like I'm in a forest that I've never seen and it's dark... and I don't know my way out. I'm completely f'ed up. Everything around you, Willow... you see the light in things but me? I have to face the dark, the dark is where I live and when I'm with you; you shine that light on me and I feel a warmth right here," he points to his chest where his heart is. "And then an explosion of happiness, but when you aren't here... I'm just a shell, hollow and empty. Feeling nothing at all. I-I can't tell you why I did kill Kane, I just can't but I wish I could; but I can't, I hope you understand." His voice is completely broken, his cheeks are stained and his eyes are leaking. Somehow, it feels like he doesn't care enough.
||
"Titus," I nod at him in acknowledgment, grabbing my tub of Ben and Jerry's cookies and cream ice cream then walking my way up the stairs.
"What's wrong with her?" He asks but in much worse words. Emberly is seated next to him, most likely looking at me as I stop at the top of the stairs and turn around.
"Fml. Life sucks, men suck, secrets suck, I deserve to know! Love sucks, I feel sorry for you two," I point to Emberly and Titus, narrowing my eyes on them. "So in love but you don't realise the wreckage it causes. IT RUINS LIVESSS!" I do a big explosion with my hands to emphasise my point.
"Is she high?" Titus looks at Val; when he shakes his head Titus speaks again, "drunk?"
"Guess again," Valentino grumbles staring up at me, I can feel his gaze but I'm not going to look at him. Titus thinks for a moment and looks at Emberly for help.
"What else is there? Ohhhh, has she been drugged?!" He exclaims stupidly. Val punches his arm and shakes his head, since when is Titus such an idiot.
"That means she would be drunk or high, idiot," Emberly slaps his forehead. He frowns and grabs her wrist, thinking to himself about what he just said. I turn to walk away and I'm in the process of walking when Titus asks if I'm not drunk or high then what am I.
He replies, "She's sad.....really sad."
||
"Come on, make some use out of yourself! Don't mope around girlfriend, you are a strong independent woman and you can stand up and saying 'I'm better than this because I'm Willow Davids.' I don't know what happened that's got you like this, but please don't shut us out; please, I'm your best friend, Will." Nova sighs, all the girls are in the room; including Titus, why is he here again?
"Come on let's do something, all together; us girls and you," Em throws back the blanket showing my hairy legs, bloated stomach and food crumbs. Mainly wet stains because the ice-cream kept on dropping out of the spoon. It was a shame, really.
"We just want you happy," Cadence whispers. Now I feel lol a major jerk, they are trying to make me feel better but I'm just being a Debbie downer. I'm bringing my friends down and I shouldn't be, they're trying to help and the least I could do is shower, do a little exercise and go out with them. I'll do just that!
I groan stepping out of bed, "let me throw some clothes on then we are out." Nova grins and then I'm tackled in a hug by all of them except Titus. Jarrad and Amalia are taking care of their baby Tyrese, he's in good hands- I'm glad Jarrad isn't in the killing and the illegal part of the gang. Though, I have a feeling he won't be giving up on street racing anytime soon. After I'm dressed they are all spraying me with deodorant and perfume.
"Today's a relaxing day, spa, facial, manicure and pedicure, hair cut, eyebrows done, massage." Cadence grins thinking about it and flies out of the room to say goodbye to Aidan, she doesn't literally fly...
We all walk down the stairs, Valentino isn't there which I'm glad. I can't see him, I need time to recover and seeing him won't be recovery. It's just Aidan, Chris and Landon, well Titus too but he just walked down the stairs. "Can I come too? They're boring!" Titus exclaims, pointing as they play on the PS4. "Okay, that's not boring but they will stop in like five minutes or when I want to play, so please?" He pleads.
All the girls look at me and I look around, I'm being judged! "Willow gets to decide," they smirk.
"Please Willow, I'll be a girl for today!" Now that's just weird... I have a feeling he just wants to be with Emberly, which I'm perfectly fine with.
"Okay then."
||
Hey guys, I didn't like the year 11 but his cousin keeps 'prank calling' me on his phone. I told him I didn't like him so we are all good hopefully.
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Keely
YOU ARE READING
The Gang Leaders Angel
Teen Fiction"He was bad. He smoked, he broke the law, he drove too fast for his own good. He didn't care because no one taught him how to. But when it came to her, he wanted to be the best man. He couldn't bare the thought of her being hurt by him.... or by any...
Chapter 36- I'll be a girl
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