A Fill-In Friend || Dear Evan Hansen [EDITING]

.: Seven :.

Evan's POV

I poke my food around with my fork, leaning my elbow on the table and propping my head up with my hand. The room was filled with an awkward silence now, with nothing to talk about. All that is heard is the clanking of spoons and forks against plates. I chew my food rapidly, my eyes darting around in all directions when my eyes meet Zoe's. She smiles deviously, playfulness filling her sparkling eyes. 

"So, uh, Evan... How're you liking the Murphy residence so far?" Her smile grows a bit. 

"Oh, well, Mrs. Murphy, your cooking is just phenomenal, it's-it's good," I start, "And Connor's room is, it's uh, very neat...?" I laugh nervously, not being able to think of compliments.

"Well, thank you. You can call me Cynthia, sweetie." Mrs. Murphy smiles. I attempt a grin back. 

"Sorry," I mutter. Mrs. Murphy looks puzzled as to why I've apologized. 

"Why are you sorry, sweetie? You didn't know." She assures, blinking.

"I should have asked, I mean, don't you think it's annoying when some, uh, someone doesn't ask something you really want them to ask but you don't want to tell them to ask you because then it's really awkward but you're afraid of awkward situations so when you think about it that makes it more awkward as you think-"

"Evan, sweetie, it's fine. How did you know? I didn't tell you. There's no need to ask something like that." Cynthia grabs my hand gently, rubbing the top of it with her thumb lightly. My breathing slows to a normal rate fairly quickly, as it didn't fasten up much. 

"I'm sorry it's just—I make a really, I mean, such a big deal of things and I didn't mean to, really." My eyes shut tightly for a second until I open them, seeing everyone's eyes on me. My cheeks heat up slightly and I mutter quiet "Sorry"'s to each of them. Both Zoe and Connor are wide-eyed, which I guess means they're both surprised. 

They might think you're crazy. Or maybe a freak. Look at the way they're looking at you, Evan. Are you going to let that happen, like a total wimp?

I clench my fist, trying to expel the thoughts from my mind. I then flick my hand upwards to excuse myself to the bathroom. 

"Bathroom's the 2nd right doorway, honey!" Mrs. Murphy exclaims. I nod without facing her and continue to walk there. Once inside, I shut the door and lock it, putting the toilet lid down as well and sitting on it. Muffled conversation from the kitchen is heard. 

"He sure has nerves, huh?" Zoe whispers.

"Did you really ask him that question just to do that to him? What the fuck is wrong with you? What kind of person do you think you are to just taunt someone like him?" Connor defends me as if I'm there. 

"It was just an icebreaker, chill!"

"It wasn't a very nice one, Zoe." Mrs. Murphy consults Zoe's actions. 

"Okay, fine, whatever. I'll stop messing with him, or whatever you think I'm doing," Zoe sighs, muttering something that I can't hear. 

A couple of minutes, I come back out, hearing the clanging of dishes. I see the Murphy's picking up after dinner and go up to Mrs. Murphy. 

"Mrs. Mur-er-Cynthia, would you like some help...? I'll be happy to help, I'malwayshappytohelpjustknowthat!" 

"It's fine, sweetie. We've got it. You're our guest, after all." She chuckles, grinning at me.

I glance at Connor, who's heading up the stairs. Sending a small smile to Cynthia, I start scurrying up the stairs behind him. I stumble, nearly having a heart attack when I almost fall. I'm out of breath at the top, though I try to breathe quietly. We go back into Connor's room, and he plops on the bed once more, while I shut the door. Connor is on his phone by the time i sit next to him. His eyes stay fixed on the phone, leaving me awkwardly harrowing over the situation. Should I talk to him, or at least try? 

"What are you, are you playing a game?" I ask subconsciously. Connor looks up with a glare. 

"Yeah. I am." 

"Can I see...?" I ask timidly. 

"Yeah, sure, Hansen, look." He rolls his eyes. I slowly advance to sit next to him. 

He's looking at spam emails. 

"Why don't we, um, wanna play a game, though? I mean, like, I'm sure we can play a game, like, um, together, right? Like... Candy Crush, or something." I suggest, not sure if Connor would immediately say no or not. 

"You know what, if it shuts you up, I'll be happy to, Hansen." He grumbled. I look down. 

Soon, we're playing games. At first, the atmosphere is tense, but we begin pointing out games we like, and a lot are in common. Eventually, it feels natural that I'd be speaking to Connor at all. He wasn't grumbling, but laughing and smiling, and I wasn't stammering as much, as compared to usual. 

For a while, we're both happy.

"Sh-Shit. I-I gotta go. I t-told my mom I'd be back at 10— I'm not there. Shit!" I grab my school back and phone charger in a hurry and wave a quick goodbye to Connor. I then run down the stairs, but Cynthia stops me. 

"You can't walk outside by yourself, it's nearly 11! Do you want me to drive you?" She smiles. 

"Oh-uh-su—"

"I'll walk him, Cynthia. I don't think he wants to be in a car with you and your weird food stuff." Connor uses my shoulder as an armrest for a second as he interrupts his mom. 

"It's late! You can't walk out there! You'll get taken by some creepy pedophile or something!" Cynthia argues.

"Technically, I can do whatever I want, so..." Connor trails off as he opens the front door and gestures me to follow him. 

"Bring your phone so I know where you are." Cynthia reasons. 

"Evan has his phone. Call him if you need anything," Connor says. I look at him, puzzled. 

"But I don't have—"

"Shut up." He whispers.

We walk about half a mile to my house, talking about school assignments and other things. When we finally get to my house, Connor sends me a small wave and smile as I walk into my house. I shut the door, turning the lights on. I trudge upstairs and into bed without changing my clothes. Soon enough, sleep takes over me. 

Anyway, I'll see you beans another day or night! 

[Edit: lmao i changed this whole fuckin chapter p much like over like 200 words i deleted bc tbh i hated that MM scene that is the cringiest thing ever sorry you beans b ut]

~Alexa <3