The Final Countdown - Season I

Episode I: Part 8: Help Me Load This Onto My Yurt

The Final Countdown was almost ready. Just a few final touches, and all Eddie had to do was get it installed.

Of course, like all things worth doing, the last few steps were the most difficult, the most challenging, and one little cock-up could destroy everything.

And with this little invention, that meant literally everything. It was such a volatile piece of untested equipment, the very existence of the universe was threatened.

So, no pressure.

"Okay, Ronnie, I need you to stay completely still."

Ronnie shifted uncomfortably in her workbench perch. "For how long?"

"I don't know. Until I say you can move again."

"What if I get itchy?"

"Scratch later."

"What if I have to go to the bathroom?"

"Hold it!"

"I have a really small bladder."

"Ronnie!"

He shuffled over to the garage fridge and pulled out a big, squishy red bag. It squelched and bulged as he hauled it back to the Final Countdown.

"Okay. This is it. If this works, we've got a chance."

Ronnie's eyes went wide. "And if it doesn't?"

Eddie glared at her and handed over the bag. She gave it a sniff and flinched.

"I don't think this is ketchup."

He shook his head and opened a small hatch near the top of the Final Countdown. A brilliant light blazed up to the ceiling from somewhere deep within the amazing device, and he flipped his welding mask down to finish his masterpiece.

"No, Ronnie, that's not ketchup."

"Marinara?"

He reached out for the bag and Ronnie handed it over.

"Wrong again."

"It's not...you know...is it?"

"Blood, Ronnie?"

Ronnie nodded.

"Yes, Ronnie. Pure red blood cells. They're going to fuel the Final Countdown. I could go into great detail, but you'd end up cross-eyed, falling over, and dying from scientific overload. Now hold still."

Ronnie held her breath as he peeled the blood bag open and poured the contents into the chamber. A faint gurgling, churning sound echoed from somewhere deep inside, and Ronnie leaned in for a closer look. 

The last of the blood drained out of the bag, and he handed the sack back to Ronnie. She pinched it between outstretched fingers and wondered why, oh why she had ventured next door with her sandwich that day.

Eddie closed the chamber and stepped away from the Final Countdown.

"Okay." He pried off his mask and threw it over his shoulder. "If I press this button..."

He pointed to a large red button right dead smack in the middle of the device.

"Then we're golden."

"And if we're not golden?"

Ronnie liked being alive. Being dead wasn't something she was quite willing to entertain just yet.

"We're dead. So...here goes."

He pressed the button. 

Nothing happened.

"Is that bad?" Ronnie clutched the blood bag to her chest.

"It's not good."

He tried again.

Nothing.

"Are we doomed? Remember how you said we're doomed?"

"We might be doomed."

He scratched his chin. Apparently chins were a place where geniuses stored their extra amazing ideas. Seconds later, he snapped his fingers and shook his head.

"Stupid," he muttered. "I forgot to carry the one."

Ronnie had no idea what he meant, but after a few minutes of chaotic fiddling with the Final Countdown, he tried the big red button one last time. The whole thing roared to life with bells, lights, whistles, and a happy little tune that brought a smile to Ronnie's face.

"Nice. Now help me load this thing onto my yurt," he said. "The world's about to end."

END OF EPISODE ONE.