Breathe Me | Jikook

2

"Yeah, I feel fine." Jungkook said. Taehyung's eyebrows drew together as Jungkook's smile fell. It lasted for a few seconds, not long enough to be convincing. It was just too hard. He could feel it sapping what little energy he had. Thankfully, at least, he hadn't had to hide in the bathroom yet. He was sure it would happen, but for now, he had been okay.

Well not really okay, but managing.

"Grandma wants to know if you want to eat dinner with us." Taehyung said, picking up his spoon to eat like a normal person. Not that he was normal, Jungkook was pretty sure he was an alien but never voiced his theory to his friend.

Jungkook looked down at his plate. His room was his safe place, where he could hide from the world, but going to Taehyung's meant avoiding his parents and showing them that he was stable enough to socialize. It could prove something to them. It could make them see that he was just fine and getting better on his own.

"I'd love to."

But Jungkook would hate seeing some of Taehyung's grandmother's food go to waste. She made such amazing food that danced on the tongue and delighted the senses; Jungkook wondered if he could stomach it. He hoped he could. He wanted to.

"I told her you hadn't been eating," Taehyung said. Jungkook pushed the sharp stab of irritation deep down. "and she wants to cook your favorite food."

Jungkook's hand had stilled, no longer pushing the food around on his tray, and every thought that went through his head was poisonous. Why does Taehyung tell everyone I'm not eating? Why can't he keep it to himself? Why does he have to let people know that I'm not normal?

"Why," Jungkook put the spoon down on his tray. "do you feel the need to tell everyone that I'm not eating? I'll eat when I want to, when I feel like it."

Taehyung, to his credit, didn't flinch or backdown at the abrasiveness in Jungkook's voice. He merely slowly put his own spoon down, his face a wall of stone. But not even a split second later that stone split, and pure concern shined through. It made Jungkook nauseous.

"I just want to know what's going through your head, that's all. I want you to eat well." Taehyung said, his deep voice quiet in the loud chatter of the cafeteria, so quiet Jungkook nearly had to strain to hear him.

Shut up, Jungkook. He told himself, Don't push away the one friend you have. He's just worried.

"Okay." Jungkook picked his spoon back up, but didn't eat. "I'll try."

A smile split across Taehyung's face. "That's good, trying is good."

The hope in his voice cracked something in Jungkook. Trying to improve himself was one thing, telling people that he was trying was a completely different thing. What if... What if he failed? How hurt would Taehyung be if Jungkook couldn't eat at the dinner that night? How much more worried would he get?

A kind person like Taehyung shouldn't spare any feelings for someone as broken as Jungkook.

Taehyung went back to eating his lunch, this time a slight upward curve to his lips, a new vigor to his body. How could one sentence change someone's feelings so much? How could the fact that Jungkook was trying make him so... Happy? No, that wasn't the word. It just seemed like there was less weight on his shoulders.

Jungkook stood, grabbing his tray as he left his seat. "I'm going to get to class early to study."

He couldn't handle looking at Taehyung's hopeful face, but he hated watching as his smile faltered and his hands slowed to a stop.  He didn't fight Jungkook, as much as he seemed to want to.