What If I Had

fifteen - gwendolyn

What the hell is going on?

"Rick?"

He doesn't hear me, or he just chooses to ignore me.

His back faced me as he stared out into the open road, multitasking as he set up one of his odd alien device thingamajigs.

"Okay, fine. You don't need to talk, alright? Just listen... you think you can handle that?"

No answer.

"Good." I take in a deep breath before beginning my rant. I had no idea where I would be going with any of this but I decided it would be best right now if I just spoke my mind. "You have no idea how relieved I am to see you here in the garage, doing what you usually do whenever you're cooped up in here."

I weakly chuckle.

"Like, I am fighting back tears as we speak, and I honestly don't think I'm strong enough to even look you in the eye right now. What you did... choosing a life with Unity over your own family is probably the lowest I've ever seen you go. Maybe there've been much worst things you've done in the past, I don't know, but this... this is big. Stupidly big. I don't mean to anger you. In any way at all. I just---"

I stop to notice Rick digging around for something, still uncomfortably silent. By now, he would've told me to screw off or something.

But, I digress.

"I just need to get something off my chest, involving you. I need to clean my self from the toxicity within me and all the impure thoughts I have just floating around in my head. I'm sick, Rick, and I know I'm sick, so in a way does that make me less sick than I already am?"

I sigh. "Rick... for a very long time now, I think I've developed this very unhealthy perception of yo---"

The thing, and I use that term very loosely, that Rick eventually finds is this hysterical orange blob of an alien that Rick coos and eases before nonchalantly putting it under this bright red beam that disintegrated the creature within a matter of seconds.

Highlighted word: disintegrated.

If I had even blinked, I probably wouldn't have seen it firsthand.

Beyond scared, I remain frozen in place with the sole of my feet glued to the floor.

"Rick?" I shakily said in practically a whisper. "What do you plan to do with that thing?"

He doesn't answer me.

Rick sits down by the contraption, fitting the headpiece around his noggin, waiting for the new set to burn a hole through his head.

"RICK!" The setting on the side that indicated when it was ready was merely a level off before striking the targeted forehead of Rick Sanchez.

Just in the nick of time, I yanked Rick backwards by his lab coat as he landed on the cold floor, hard in his back. A loud groan erupted from him when he hit the ground.

"Jesus fuck, Rick! How stupid are you? Why would you do something like this, huh? Think of your family, Rick. Think of your fucking family!" I dropped to my knees just at Rick's head, levelling his head comfortably in my lap. I had a hand over his forehead and the other mangled in his messy blue hair.