lunch | mark lee

denial | 007

His smile was perfect. Flawless. Something I looked forward to everyday. An awkward silence lingered in the air. Everyone had left, apart from us.

"Um, well thanks for being so kind," I muttered picking up my bag. "I should get going now."

"Are you not gonna get lunch?" He stood up abruptly.

"No, I mean yes. I just have to return a library book, so I'll come down later," I lied. 

"Oh okay, so I'll see at lunch?" He unintentionally questioned. I nodded in response. I started walking towards the door but I was tempted to turn around. Mark for crying out loud just ask me to have lunch with you. Help me move on. He didn't call back for me. And I didn't turn around. And I walked straight out that door just like any other day, heading for somewhere but the library. 

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Mark's pov

I wanted to call her back. Tell her to have lunch with me, but something stopped me. My brain told my lips to freeze and it obeyed. I felt a little hole forming inside of me. Telling me I've done something wrong. However I shook it off. I decided that I should have lunch before bell for last period went off.

Along the hallways, I walked, my head hanging low, my heart aching a little. Why did I feel so numb at the fact I didn't ask Hyesu to have lunch with me? The walk to the cafeteria seemed unusually longer than before. 

"Bro, what took you so long?" a voice interrupted my thoughts. It was Johnny.

"Nothing I was just apologising to Hyesu about your behaviour," I exaggerated that particular word, taking a seat beside him. "She told me about Jiwoo yanno? I just.. I don't know. Everything feels weird. We've never really talked, but now I have the urge to go look for her."

"Hold up. Are you telling me that you talked to Hyesu, yet you didn't ask her to have lunch with you?" Johnny questioned, slightly irritated.

"I guess? I don't know man, I mean, I wanted to call back to her, but my lips just froze." Johnny paused for a moment. He studied my face intently. 

"You're starting to like her," he said casually. 

"What, no! I just pity her," I retort.

"Yo Cupid Jae, doesn't Mark look like he's in love?" Jaehyun turned to face me. Once again, squinting his eyes at me.

"Yeah bro, definitely," was his answer. Blunt and straight forward.

"See. You're just denying it. Your hearts fallen for her, but your brain is telling you you haven't."

"And how do you know?" I ask, a little irritated.

"She told you about the rumours. When someone straight up tells you about the rumours spreading about them, you start to feel a bit sorry for them. And over time, you start to get this feeling that you should protect them. Buddy, I've known you long enough to understand what you're feeling, by just looking at you're face." I sigh at his reply. I knew he was right, but I didn't want to accept it. 

"I think it's time you start looking out for her. If she gives you a lame excuse as to why she can't have lunch, look her in the eye and tell her that you got her back. Defend her. She's not like the other girls. She's more vulnerable and you and I both know that." Johnny seemed serious. More serious than before. I wasn't one to talk about girls, but when I did, I guess Johnny cared. 

"Why me? Can't you defend her?" I asked, a little taken back that I was still in denial about my feelings.

"I don't think she wants me to defend her," he answered plainly. My heart started beating faster and I felt a little excited. She wanted me? Johnny being Johnny, was quick to change the subject. "Dude you must be starving, lunch is on me today," he smiled. He took two steps forward before turning around again. "I'll quote Jay Asher, or Hannah Baker, whoever you prefer it from, 'you can hear rumours, but you can't know them,'" and with that he walked away from me, leaving me to drown in my thoughts. It all seemed to complex at the time, but I knew what I had to do. Step one: accept my feelings. Step two: defend her.

a/n

whoop whoop i'm getting rlly excited writing this book! i'd just like to say, everything i write, links to my life in some sort of way. school friends reading this might think yeah well, you go to an all girls school and bruh, you just crush on any guy you see. well my friends, theres more to me than what meets the eye. but stick along children, the story has just begun. 

i enjoy reading  books where stuff that happens is real yanno? like 13 reasons why and the fault in our stars. because you never know whats going to happen to someone and thats the scary part. i hope you enjoy reading this book, comment, vote and share with your friends. much love - k