nothing but trouble || h.s.

[forty]

I sit at lunch, waiting for Angie. I haven't spoken to Harry since last night. Or this morning, I guess.

You'd think I'd be having a fine time. That I've been easily sliding by. But no. Of course not. It's been difficult. I have these thoughts in my head. What was Harry doing? Did he really lie to me?

And now, looking over and seeing his group, including himself, standing by Amber's stupid group, I worry something worse. Who was there? Who was he with? Did he get drunk enough to cheat on me? If he did, was he even drunk? Who was it with? Was it Amber?

I sink my face into my palms. I'm obsessed with this idea. I don't know that he hung around any girls. I don't know that he did something with them. I don't know anything. I can't assume. It will make me go nuts.

I don't even notice Angie beside me until I feel her shaking me lightly and asking what's wrong. I lift my head up and place my hands on the skirt of my dress, fiddling with it the second my hands come into contact. "I.. Nothing, I'm.. Really tired.. Stayed up really late and then got woken up in the morning.." I tell her. It isn't a lie. There's just not underlying reason there.

"Haylie.. If that's why, then why are you and Curly over there avoiding each other? And why is it that every time you see him, your eyes are glued to him? You seem frantic until you know where he is." She says. I should've known better than to assume she wouldn't notice. She can read me like her favorite book, cover to cover, page by page.

I sigh, taking another long glance at Harry. He's.. Seemingly alright.. He looks normal. Kind of cheery but with that, 'I hate everything' look. He must not be affected. Not like this morning. This morning I was the one that was fine. He was distressed. Now the tables have turned. I shouldn't be surprised.

"Haylie?" Angie says. I look back over. She gives me a concerned look. I rub my eyes, hoping to rub  both the tired and these thoughts away. "Right, right, uhm, it's nothing, just an argument last night," I try. That earns me another look from Angie. "This morning, whatever," I correct myself. And another look. "Okay, okay,"

"He went out with his friends last night and then never answered my calls or texts hours later and then he comes back at four in the morning drunk off his ass. He promised it wasn't a party. He promised he wouldn't drink. He broke both of those promises. And lied to me." I explain, the flames of anger now returning to my stomach, surging through me. I now remember why I made him go in the first place.

"So why are you staring at him every second of the day? Shouldn't it be the other way around?" Angie asks. I sigh, looking back down at my hands, still fiddling with my dress. Now it's all wrinkled from my doing, so I smooth it out as best as I can. "Yes. It should." I reply. There's a pause of silence. "Then why isn't it?"

Another breath escapes my lips. "Because. If he lied to me, what if he lied about so much else? And what happened at that party? Who was he with? Did he do anything with anyone? Like Amber?" I blurt out. I look up at Angie, who's giving me the look of one who's just seen a ghost. "Where did all of this come from?" She asks, astounded. I look back over at Harry. He's not talking to anyone, but leaning against the wall, watching Amber talk about something that's probably really, extremely annoying.

She seemingly understands my gaze. "Ohh." She says. I nod and turn back to her. "And he was.. Kind of flirting with her a few days ago.. I don't know. She's the type to throw herself at a guy. And if he was drunk enough he would've accepted. I'm sure of it." I say. Angie scoffs. "She's a whore."

Our conversation fades when Niall, Louis, Michael, and Luke come sit with us. "Hey," Luke smiles. Angie and I both return the greeting and dive into another topic with them about something that happened on their way over including running into a pole. I smile and try my best to pay attention and laugh when needed. But my thoughts and eyes wander to Harry and the party last night.