Me and Him (UNEDITTED)

15

I looked at the lettering and my eyes teared up a bit. Archer grumbled angrily, "Can read it out loud?" Archer asked, trying to peer over my now puffy hair. I glared at him and sighed heavily.

"'My D-Dearest Raina, if you gave chosen to read this, then I'd like to tell you how sorry I am for leaving. It will be my deepest regret because leaving you was the hardest thing I-I have ever done,'" I heaved in a shaky breath and continued. "You're probably living with your father now and that's exactly the way I want it, because I'm in trouble with some people right now and having the person I l.. Love the most involved would be the last thing that I'd want to do. Your father will protect you in ways that I never could... So, I guess now would be a good time to admit that your father never left you, he would've loved you even before you were born and the story I told you was wrong, always wrong and it always pained me to hear and see the kind of ha-hatred you had for him... Anyway, I love you, Raina and I wish you the best. Don't become.. me.. Always, your mother,"

It felt like my heart just stopped. I was not only depressed right now, I was angry. Raina, I wish you the best?! That's all she had to say?! I wanted to rip the letter apart, I wanted to find her and I wanted to yell at her and ask her all these questions that she herself couldn't even answer. But I couldn't. And that made me angrier.

"Ray, you okay?" Archer asked, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I laughed bitterly. "Me? Okay? Do you think that 'okay' would be the word describe me right now or are you so dense that you can't even realize that I'm a freaking mess?!" I seethed. "My mom is gone, she got in trouble with people, whatever the hell that means, she did drugs, she smoked, she had one night stands with men half her age, she apparently lied about my father and now I'm here, wondering that if the life I was living before was even a life!"

"Ray, I'm sorry you're feeling this way, but don't take it out on someone who is trying to be your friend here!" Archer glared.

"I'm sorry," I said, immediately ashamed. "I..." Suddenly, I heard a car engine outside of the house. "I have to do something!" I took the letter and rushed out of the house, Archer following me.

James stepped out of the car and looked at me questioningly. "Raina, aren't you supposed to be in--"

Before he could say anything else, I slammed the letter on his car and stepped back. He took the letter in his hands and read it, slowly and carefully, lowering it when he was done. "What did she mean when she said you didn't leave?" I asked, almost in a whisper.

"I.. Raina, I don't think she meant anything," James said, slowly.

"Bullshit!" I exclaimed, making James flinch a little because of my language. "She obviously meant something, otherwise she wouldn't have left me with some dumb little letter and then lie in it!"

"Okay, Raina, calm down," James glared, his voice firm and steady. "Come inside and I'll tell you,"

"I should go, then, right?" Archer asked awkwardly. "Or.."

"No, you were there for me then, you'll be here for me now," I said, taking him by his hand and leading him in the house. When I looked back at him, his face was entirely red and he was looking at anything but me. Weirdo.

"Sit down," James said. Reluctantly I at down on the white sofa, Archer doing the same. "He's going to listen too? Who even is this kid?"

"He's my friend and yes he is going to listen, so go on," I ordered, leaning in the couch, comfortably.

"Okay," James breathed heavily. "I met your mother, Amara while I was in college and I think I fell in love right away. But at the time, I was dating Aleena and I didn't.. We didn't know she was pregnant with Jasmine.. So, I told her that I was going to leave her for Amara and she told me to be happy, but when she told me she was pregnant, I couldn't.. I couldn't leave the baby or her. So, I talked to Amara and she pushed me towards the baby, saying that a daughter needs her father. A few months later, I see Amara holding a baby in the mall and I.. I realized right away that that baby was mine," James smiled bitterly at the memory and I thought I was going to have a heart attack. "She had my baby and she didn't even tell me and you know what, that hurt like hell. I told her then that I could leave Aleena for her, but she told me she couldn't do that, that she couldn't be with me, so it all ended right then and there. I barely saw her anymore,"

I felt like I couldn't breathe. "Shit, Ray, you okay? You look like you're sick.." Archers voice trailed off and the darkness consumed me and my thoughts.

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