Louis' POV.
I sat my fork down on my plate as my mother slowly walked into the kitchen, tears streaming down her face.
"Mum, what happened?" I ran to her, wrapping my arms around her before pulling her an arms length away from me. She sniffed and wiped at her eyes.
"I just got off the phone with Karen." I froze. Did Liam tell his mother about me hurting him?
"What did she say..." I said slowly. Just as I said this, she burst into another fit of sobs.
"L-Liam," she choked out. "He-he killed himself," she said, new tears forming and spilling down her cheeks. I dropped my hands from her shoulders.
"What?"
"He's gone, son. He killed himself." Tears welled up in my eyes as I ran for the staircase.
I stumbled up each one before running into my bedroom and throwing myself onto my bed, my head becoming buried within the sheets.
Liam was dead.
The thought played over and over again in my mind, yet each time I said it, it became more real.
I couldn't help the guilt eating my body alive piece by piece. I never even told him why I began hurting him in the first place. At this, I sprang up from my bed, rushing over to my mess of a desk. I pulled out a sheet of lined paper and began writing.
Dear Liam,
I can't say in words how sorry I am.
I'm sorry that you had to live your high school years in fear. I'm sorry that I never told you why I began hurting you, why I began talking behind your back, and I'm sorry that I never told you why I turned all of your friends against you.
Even though you are gone to a better place, I thought that you would like to know why I did all of these terrible, terrible things that I regret doing every waking moment.
As I wrote my sorrowful letter, thoughts began flooding into my brain as I transferred memories to words.
*Flashback*
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"Okay class, that's the bell, you may go," Mrs. Bell, my eighth grade teacher, announced.
I grabbed my binder, walking over to Liam's desk.
"That was the most boring thing of my life," I groaned, knowing that he would agree with me since History
was his least favorite subject.
"Actually, it was pretty interesting," he shrugged.
"Dude, c'mon. No one cares about how we began farming." Liam shrugged once again.
"Well if we hadn't started farming, we would still be hunting for our food." Now it was my turn to shrug.
"I don't know man, but lets get to lunch, I'm starving."
Soon we were in the crowded lunchroom, Liam and I parting ways as he had a packed lunch and I had to get lunch from the school.
After getting a tray full of the so called "food" , I made my way over to our normal table. As I began walking over, I noticed the table was rather crowded, furrowing my brow once I realized there wasn't a seat for me. I tapped Liam's shoulder, confused.
"Um, Liam?" He turned at my voice, smiling.
"What's up Lou?"
"Um, where am I supposed to sit?" I said, glancing at the full table. He scanned the seats also.
"Oh, sorry man. Erm, meet up with me after? I'm finally getting in with the cool guys," he whispered. I nodded stiffly and walked away, my eyes brimming with tears. I scanned the lunchroom, not finding an open seat. Not seeing another option, I ran into the boy's bathroom, sitting on the floor with my tray. I sat there as tears fell down my cheeks. Once my eyes began to itch from crying, I stood up from my spot, trying to wipe the redness away from my eyes.
My only best friend ditched me for the popular guys.
Suddenly the sadness inside me turned to a burning fire of hatred, my teeth gritting.
He humiliated me in front of almost every guy in our school.
He did this to me.
I scoffed. What a friend.
I looked myself in the eyes through the mirror, making a promise to myself.
"I will make Liam feel like this everyday. I will never feel like this again. By high school, I will do everything in my power to make sure Liam has no friends."
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*End of Flashback*
Tears streamed down my face as I continued writing with a shaky hand.
I never meant for you to become so depressed about this, I never meant to hurt you so much that you would even think about killing yourself. I was just an angry boy, taking all my anger out on you. I'm sorry that I didn't try to put myself in your shoes that day in eighth grade. I probably would've done the same thing. I was just jealous because you were so popular, I never deserved you, and I still don't. You were so confident in everything you did, and I was jealous.
I'm sorry that I couldn't save you. If I had just been a good friend that day, and understood, you would still be living a normal life, full of friends and love. And most importantly, you would still be here.
Even though I don't deserve to, I will still call you my best friend until the day I die.
Your Best Friend,
Louis
I folded the sheets of notebook paper together, tucking them in an envelope and scrawling Liam's name in the front. I wrote his address on it before sprinting down the stairs, out the door, and putting it in the mailbox. I slowly made my way back into my house, laying back in my bed and staring at the blank ceiling.
My head pounded with all of the guilt eating away at me. One voice in my head repeated that it wasn't my fault, but of course there was that voice that seemed more accurate, and much more truthful, that chanted out three words that made my stomach drop.
I killed Liam.
A/N:
well im confused
who killed him dammit
YOU ARE READING
On the Outside ↠ l.p {UNDERGOING MAJOR EDITING SOON}
Fanfiction"we were indeed on the outside, and it was a cold winter out here."
