chapter 48

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what's wrong with me? why do i keep on falling in someone's arm? why does the person i love the most choose to be with someone else? Am i loving him too much that i made him feel trapped and oppressed? Arthur let go of me because he asked for it. Yeah i was happy that arthur choose to give in but why? why do i need to suffer this consequences? Is being a single parent isn't enough?

This past months Cedi would just come into my condo and asked if im okay or not?  if i still had a food in the fridge and still live and kicking but he didn't come here to be with me, he became cold like before. Sometimes he will just send me a text message saying he can't passed by because Elli needed him and because Elli can't move much because she might lose her balance and lose her baby too. I tried to communicate with him but he said he's too busy to entertain me. It hurts my feelings you know, he shouldn't had asked me again to arthur if he couldn't give me some of his time and attention.

There this one time that i went to visit my doctor and asked him if he can come with me but he refuse because he said he'll be busy in work so i went alone in my doctor. I feel pity for myself for not having my partner by my side specially when i am now in seven months old of pregnancy, I feel jealous at the ladies whose partner is with them. I used to come here with arthur but it was stopped when he decided to let me go.

"what are you doing art?" i asked him pulling away myself from him. "why? can't i hug my friend?" he said looking sorry "uhm.. of course.. you...you can.. you just startled me" i replied. "kath, i miss the old us but i have my limits too. Yeah sure i did said that i'll be here when everything messed up but i need to keep my words too and stay away from you, it's was Cedi and I's agreement"  i feel so lonely when i heard what they'd agreed after Arthur decide to set me free. I  feel sad for Arthur too knowing that he became my partner when Cedi was not around. Arthur didn't stay long in the condo, he said he'll be having a meeting in the said building that's why he decided to visit me using his spare time saying he's happy that Cedi wasn't around when he visited me.

"Mrs. Frost?" the assistant of the doctor cut my thoughts. I directly stand up from my seat and went to the doctor's office. I was called Mrs. Frost because when I first went here for a check up Arthur fill in the papers saying that he wants me to be called Mrs Frost."good morning Mrs. Frost" the doctor greeted me, i bowed to her gesturing that i acknowledge her greeting "how are you?" she asked "Im fine" She looked to my papers and looked up to me "you lost some weight, is there any problem?" she asked again "no doc, im totally fine"

"did you take your vitamins?"
"i did"
"eat your meals in the right time?"
"i did"
"are you having a hard time Mrs. Frost?" i suddenly paused and remembered the events that happened for past few months. My hands were bald and i saw my skin turns to pale.  

"where is Mr. Frost? He never misses your monthly check up" the doctor's question hit me in my heart. It feels like i was being stubbed by a knife and it leaves a scar that never been removed, her words was a pity word for myself. She was right, where is my partner? why do i need to be alone in this check up? Suddenly the door from my behind open and a man with a black suit came in. I thought he needed something from the doctor but i was shocked when i saw Arthur came in from his behind. "oh, hello there Mr. Frost, what a pleasant surprise, have a seat please" the doctor said gesturing to the seat next to me. Arthur seated to the chair and looked to me with wide smile and his cute puppy eyes. "you just came on time, i was asking her of where you are" the doctor said feeding arthur a lot of information about my current situation. She even told me what should i do. what should i eat and what i need.

after the check up arthur asked me to dine with him in a near by restaurant so i said yes. I couldn't say no to the guy who save me from pitiness. "So tell me Kath, what makes you lose your weight?" he asked in no hesitant. "i don't know, i just did what the doctor told me to do, i never skipped my meals or forget my medicines." "so what is the reason?" he said pushing the subject. " i really don't know art." i said in a matter of fact tone. he just nodded in reply. After eating in the restaurant arthur give me a lift to my condo. Arthur and I's conversation at the restaurant leaves me hanging. I don't know why he knew that i was alone today? How did he know that Cedi isn't around? Does he still cares for me? I thought Cedi was cleared at their agreement that Arthur should keep his distance to me but why is he still here looking for me?

"kath i did this for our own good, I'm sorry if i can't keep my word, im sorry if i need to let you go again and give you back in Arthur's arm. He promise to keep you safe and always protect you from any danger that will come to your way." Cedi holds my hand, he is on his knees crying for my forgiveness. "but why? is Elli giving you a hard time?" i asked him but he shake his head. "then why are you doing this? answer me Ced?"  but he didn't answer me instead he stand up and let go of my hand " you're free now Kath, be happy in Arthur's arm.

i woke up with tears in my eyes. I was scared if ever it will happen to me. Should i let him go again? i took my phone and dial his number but before i could ring his phone Cedi stood in front of my door holding a tray. Is this really happening? is it really true? is he really here? "what? you look like you've seen a ghost baby" he said putting the tray down to my bed "why are you crying?" he added wiping the tears away from my cheeks. "is that really you cedi? tell me if this is all a dream" i said holding his hands "of course not' you're not dreaming baby, it's really me. I came here because i got the news that arthur was with you yesterday at the clinic" i nod in saying yes. "what is his reason?" he asked in a cold tone. i grab his hands and put it in my face "don't be angry baby,  he just went there to accompany me because he found out that i was the only one who went to the clinic" he looked at me with a sad smile and a sorry look. I don't know but everytime i looked deep in his eyes it's like it's saying something, that every time he looked at me he wanted to say a word but he couldn't and i don't have a clue if what i saw was right.

"uhm... Ced why you didn't come when i went to see the doctor?" i asked him pulling out from our hugs. " i told you i was busy at that time" he said looking away. i don't want to argue with him. He just comes here sometime then i will just look for fight, i don't think so that it was a good idea so i just let it slip away and forget what i asked.

All day cedi was with me, telling corny jokes and planning for our future. I wanted to ask him about Elli but I didn't since he was enjoying his time with me.
"Kath I'll be out of town for some reason." He said rubbing my stomach. His head were on my lap. I look at him and saw sadness in his eyes. "When will you be back?" "After a month i think  but I promise to come home because our baby will be born soon." He replied "okay, as long as you are with me when I deliver our baby, please come home". I caressed his face and smiled at him. "but I'm with Elli" he said closing his eyes. My heart aches after i heard her name and knowing that Elli is with him. "So what is the real reason why you're going out of town?" i asked him though it hurts me hearing the real reason. "she'll deliver her baby too and her family want to admit her in their hometown hospital and i don't have a say to that since they knew i am not the real father of their granddaughter"i don't know what to feel after i heard his reasons. "please don't be mad at me baby, i also want her to be safe that's why i want to hand her over to her family." I just nodded since i can't tell him what he needs to do.


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the time has come and it will end soon.


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