Letters To Nowhere [EDITING]

●The Address

"To You,

This is the letter which I've been trying to write for the past week. I know writing to you wasn't really a part of my plan, but when does something you plan ever work out?
I started writing to you because of something else, but i kept going on because it became something that helped me in a weird way.
I know it might not make any sense to you but you are the thing that keeps me from thinking about the darkness dwelling inside me. Or rather writing to you helps.
In the previous letters, I have never mentioned my address on the envelope because I wanted to be a person whom you could never find or trace back to if you ever wanted to.
But that has changed in this last week....
For some reason I want you to know me. I've felt that urge from the time I first wrote to you, but I didn't pay any mind to it.
I think it is only fair if at least one person out there knows me. Or the real me.
The people around me don't really care if I exist. At times even I doubt that.
It feels like it has been very long since I last spoke to someone because I wanted to, and not because I had to.
Writing to you feels like Iam actually having a conversation with someone.
That is why I've decided to add my address to this envelope. For this conversation between us to become an actual conversation.
No, I will not force you to tell me about yourself, I just want you to respond.
Even if it's just a plain hi or hello.
Its not too much is it?
Maybe it is......
How about you just send me a blank page?
I will leave up to you then.
Sometimes i feel i might be insane for even doing this in the first place. I mean, I have to be somewhat insane to be writing to you.
But i really don't care now. I have never looked forward to anything in the past few years as i look forward to hearing from you or writing to you. Gives me a reason to live just another day. Thinking maybe somewhere you might be sad if the crazy unknown girl stopped writing to you.
Haha.
I promise I won't. You can look forward to it.
I wish you would.
I tried looking into your journal to know more about you, sorry....i didn't mean to pry, even though i am using your address for my selfish reason....and almost made you a witness to my suicide.
Though i could find nothing about you really. Seems like you had just bought the journal.....and added your address. Wish you had written more. Just curious.
Were you a student here too? I would've tried looking into the records as to who might used the same locker as me, but as I've mentioned above i barely exist as I'm very shy.
I would probably choke in my attempt to speak to the office receptionist.
I am rather good at blending into the wallpaper. You know the person in the room that no one realises is there untill they suddenly make a remark, and everyone stares not at the remark but at the oddity of not having noticed an entire person there.
That is why writing to you is the most extrovert thing i am doing, other than snapping at my mother sometimes when i can't keep my patience enough to keep my mouth shut.
That is why it would mean a lot if you could even sent a blank page.....
Well this letter got long. I am not used to writing this long to someone or on something. Even my diary entries are tiny...that states anything important of the day, or some quote i read in some book.
Did i tell you already that i love to read? Well i am saying it now. *writing it now!!
I keep addressing you as if we are talking.

Anyway, I'll not lengthen this letter any more.
I'll save some things to write in the next one.
*sighes
Feels like I am hanging up.
You really made me feel, i haven't felt anything in a long time. The numbness feels bearable with you. There goes that word again. Haha.
Untill next time.

Cxx

P.S. wish you would right back.

Ending the letter she sealed it in the layed out envelope in which she had already written her own address along with the unknown address. Sighing a breath of relief, Chaitali leaned back on her chair. This one really made her feel like she had had a real conversation. She could feel the emptiness in her chest be less tangible. She really couldn't believe how attached she'd become with a person she didn't even know. The chances of the person actually writingback to her was really thin. She knew, yet she wanted to hope against her knowledge and cling on to the little thought that maybe. Just Maybe.
Even if it were just a blank paper. This desperation in her to cling to such an unstable flicker was the thing that had made her not feel the urge to kill herself, or hurt herself in anyway. The wounds on her thighs were finally getting a chance to heal for once. And she was desperate to not let it go.
If only for once she could exist, and someone would acknowledge her existence. Her *Real Existence*.

But the doubt coexisted with her little hope.
Would the person write back?
Would he or she really write back?

A/N: Hey guys, another chapter. She finally did write the letter.
I know which way this story is going, but I'd love to hear from you guys, what you think will happen...
Would she have her reply?
Or not?

It is really amazing that so many of you are taking your time to read this. I am really thankful. I never thought anyone would read what  i wrote......other than my poetry😅😅
But you guys really make me look forward to posting here every week...Thank you so much.😗😗😗

So please feel free to leave a comment on how you like it so far. And if you like it, please press the 🌟star button and share.
You can follow me to checkout my other works. Promise my poems are better😅😅😅
Hope you like.

Rituza

P.S. my offer for the cover of this book still remains. I'd love a new cover.😍😍