Writer's Games Entries

Task 6: "The Tempest" (QF)

'Saw you weeping, saw you creeping
Saw you sneaking in the shadow's long, the fear so strong
Saw you out the corner of my eye'

Silence. That's all there is right now. I ran back to the house I claimed earlier, locked the door, slid down to the floor...and completely broke down. After that, there was the silence suffocating me. Every nerve in my body is exposed and lying flat out on the floor. I'm completely broken. It's been a wonder that this hasn't happened sooner. The signs have always been there, and they have culminated into this broken version of myself. It all led to that moment where I took a human life. It was always there, in my mind, in the Gamemaker's plans and the history of the Games – to survive for as long as I have, I had to become a killer.

It's felt like a reaper has been standing behind me and followed my every move all this time. Every time I would try to turn my head, I could feel like he was there to claim me (or in this scenario, lead me to become something I don't want to be). He could've claimed me in the normal sense a long time ago, but for some reason, that's not what he (or the Gamemaker) wants. The fates has had a role to play in that when I think about it. Each one of them felt like a way for the reaper to claim my soul. He's been successful to a degree as I feel like I am losing one piece of myself after the other.

'Don't come for me today
I'm feeling good, let me savor it'

I did not know what to expect when they reaped me for the Games. I did not anticipate all that would come with it – the challenges and these emotions of fear...and the killing (well I did anticipate that). I just thought I could hide my way through all of it. I feel like such a fool for not seeing how much this will affect my future. I was doing well in my life before all of this. Everything has just turned upside-down in a matter of less than a week. Imagine it, the other day I was on top of a mountain in the fresh air that I love and know, now I'm in this Arena fighting to live another day. No...just no, it's too unreal.

The three fates presented to me yesterday scared me. They felt like three separate reapers ready to grasp their own piece of my soul. Trying to escape them has been like trying to escape the reaper. In the end he will get you, it's only a matter of time. It's just that...I still have a life to live, no matter how damaged it might be after all this. I don't want it to end like this, in a place like this with millions of people watching this as if real human lives weren't at stake. It can't end yet. Sadly, I can't escape the feeling that there isn't much I have left to give.

'Oh, you tried to track me down
You followed me like the darkest cloud'

When the light disappeared in her eyes and her body turned limp, a piece of me died. It wasn't supposed to happen (I mean fate predicted it, but I didn't want to). I wasn't going to go out there and risk meeting someone that I would end up killing. I was very headstrong on that fact. The next thing I did wrong was bringing the knife as 'protection'. You could argue that I did try to protect myself, but I didn't want to kill anyone in the process. I just wanted to get out of there alive.

It's constantly on my mind. The fact that I took a human life against my own wishes but according to one of the fates. I wasn't going to do that. A part of me has already changed. It's a change that I didn't want to see in myself. I wasn't going to get lost in it and like it. My only goal through all of this has been to survive. It has never been about the glory and fame that supposedly come when all of this is over (though it'll probably never be over), I just want to go back to the place I call home and try to be as much of the person that I used to be.