Alex sat on the edge of his bed with his head resting in his hands, tears pricking the edges of his eyes. He didn't even bother to try to push them back; instead letting them flow freely down his cheeks. His chest ached, the emotion presenting itself as a psychical restraint upon him. But there wasn't anything that he could do to remove it as it pressed down onto his lungs, making it difficult for him to suck air into his lungs.
The world spun around him, his mind pushing it into a sickening speed. He limply allowed himself to be flung around with it. He wondered if this was what Hannah had felt like as she waited, day by day, for somebody to notice what was wrong, for somebody to reach out with genuine concern.
He knew that he would never be able to forgive himself for what he had done to her; for the hurricane that he had started. And now? Now he was doing it again, fucking up the one good thing he had left. His entire body convulsed with sobs as he came to realize that he fucked up everything that he did, that he couldn't see what purpose he had left here.
The uninhibited, tear-streaked faces of Hannah's parents? His fault. Clay's wild eyes and frantic confusion? His fault. The mystery girl who he was texting day probably being ruined? His fault, once again.
It seemed to him like he had a lot more losses than wins.
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A Loser With A Cellphone (Alex Standall)
Fanfiction"Hello?" "Who is this?" "I found your number on the bandroom floor..." started: may 12, 2017 finished: september 17, 2017
