our fall in may||BWS (completed)

Chapter Twenty One

Bradley

I'm drowning.

I cant breathe.

It feels as though water has invaded my lungs and continues to fill them more with everyday. I wish for death more than I have in a long time.

Linda has gotten me to eat and shower more, but it's all robotic. She can't understand how this feels no matter how hard she tries. Her husband couldn't careless for the kids she takes in, but even he has noticed the change.

The circles underneath my eyes tell the true that I've been trying to hide. (A/n fucking die rose)

I care about May more than Ive ever cared about anyone in my entire life.

It's only been three months since that day she walked into that therapy room and changed the course of this disaster I call my life.

But the most difficult thing is that today is Thursday. The days May would come see me. The days where I told May things I've never told anyone. The days when she would tell me about dancing and how she missed it. The days I smiled or laughed. The days she told me cheesy jokes to make me feel better if I had a rough week. The days she would bring me food. The days that were the only things getting me through the weeks.

And now it's gone because I ruined it.

Linda talked to Joy today. Apparently May was fine. She wasn't sad anymore. She was happy after the three weeks we haven't been in contact, which denied what her mother thought of her having feelings for me.

I wish I could be happy without her.

If I had stayed in England, I would be dead today. Long gone. The only thing that was keeping me alive was Mayella. She was all that I needed and it took me to be away from her to realize it.

May had gotten a cellphone as a surprise when she got back from the hospital. It's only a slide phone with brail for texting and calling along with a text to voice speaker which read her messages to her. Joy had given her number to Linda to give to me.

So I had her number. I could easily talk to May. But I was ninety nine percent sure May would never want to talk to me again. This thought caused the hole in my chest to rip more and my arms to develop more scars. There's barely any space left for more, so I moved to my upper thighs, completely invisible from the public eye. My lungs feel like they are filling to the top and I can't scream or gasp for oxygen.

The pain is too much.

May moved on and doesn't care. So why should I? Why should I care about someone who can easily not talk to me ever again?

Soon the water will escape from my lungs and I will drown.

_________________

I WANNA HUG THIS POOR LIL BABY
Don't you love when you cry about your own story?

-Rose