OUR LOUD MINDS → bts fanfiction

Chapter Fifteen

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"Why didn't you post stuff on SoundCloud or something? Isn't that a website people can get famous from?" I asked Namjoon.

He sighed, probably getting a bit frustrated with my digressions.

"Anna, I already told you I didn't want people to hear my music. I was only fourteen, fifteen. My production sucked," he replied.

I leaned against the back of my chair, studying him from across the table.

"So you're saying that your production used to suck...but now it's better? How would you know that unless you still made music?" I pointed out.

He rolled his eyes.

"Okay, so I worded that wrong," Namjoon said. "What I meant was; my production did suck, and probably still does. I wouldn't know, since I don't make music anymore."

"But why not? Why is school so important to you?" I questioned.

"Since when did you become so talkative? You're always quiet at school," he said with a frown.

I could tell he didn't like where our conversation, or should I say my interrogation, was going. He always switched subjects when I brushed on the topic of his studying. I knew it had something to do with his parents, but that was all.

"Since I actually found something interesting to talk about," I answered honestly, after a moment of silence.

"Can we get back to the reason we're here?" Namjoon asked. "Our test is in two days."

I sighed and nodded, reluctantly returning to History. So he could go off topic and talk about human nature whenever he felt like it, but when I started to talk about something other than History, he got all upset. After a few minutes of actually covering some important things, I paused again.

"Namjoon?"

"Yes, Anna," he said with a sigh.

"Could I read more of your stuff?"

His eyes suddenly darted away, something like a cover passing over them. I knew he was going to refuse.

"Why, though? Why does this interest you so much?" Namjoon asked.

"Why did it interest you?" I replied.

He watched me for a second, staring back into my eyes. Considering. Namjoon then bit his lip and broke the gaze.

"Fine. But only if we actually get through some of this," he consented.

I held back a smile, simply nodding in reply. For the rest of our tutoring session, I actually focused all my attention on History.

☁︎

The rest of the week passed by like a blur. Namjoon and I took our first big History test, and I gave him a reassuring nod before we started, but that was my most vivid memory. The results wouldn't be known until the next week; I knew Namjoon would be a nervous wreck in that time. Even so, I still insisted on having him fulfill his promise, so on that Friday afternoon, for the first time, I went to his house for something other than a study session.

"Where you at? I thought tonight was a mall night?" Hye's text said.

"Sorry, feeling sick. Next week, k?" I replied, shoving my phone into my bag.

Namjoon was silent as we drove to his house, and the car was quiet except for the soft sound of him tapping the wheel.

"I'm sure you did fine," I told him.

Namjoon blinked and looked at me.

"Hm?"

"I know you're nervous, but you did really well on Thursday, remember?"

"Woah, Anna's actually reassuring me instead of pestering me about rapping? That's new," he said sarcastically.

"Well, savor it. That's the last time I ever comfort you," I replied bitterly.

A look of amusement crossed his face, but not a smile. Never a smile. Namjoon had never seen me smile, just as I had never seen him. I found myself wondering what he'd look like with a smile.

Nice, I decided.