Who Would've Thought (BWWM)

22 - Guilty

Chapter 22

I stayed in my room under the covers sleep for half the day. I didn't want to face reality.

After Michael left I was stuck. When I got the courage to move I ran into the house and called him. I continued to call him until my phone died.

I left him multiply messages saying 'I'm sorry and I didn't mean to hurt him' but I guess he didn't want to hear that.

I know taking interest in Jesse was wrong and naive of me when I already had a boyfriend. I couldn't stop my feelings but now that Michael and I are over I miss him. I want him here with me. I never knew how much I wanted him until now. He's my everything.

Tears started to fall from my eyes again. I decided to let it all out. I screamed as loud as I could but it still didn't help.

***

"Stevie, come on wake up." Shawn was shaking me nonstop. Suddenly his voice was soft. "Stevie are you okay?"

I finally pulled the cover from my head cringing from my bedroom light. "Why are you bothering me?"

"Because I'm wondering why all the lights in the house turned off. And why I find you in your room sulking?" He asked chuckling. When he noticed I wasn't laughing he sobered up. "Did Michael do something to you?"

I instantly started to cry. "It's what I did to him?" I sat up so he'll hear me better. "Jesse and I kissed."

"Damn girl, I didn't know you had it in you." He laughed but stopped when he seen I was serious. "Why did you tell Michael?"

I scoffed running my hands through my hair. "Because he's my boyfriend Shawn and it didn't feel right to just lie to him." I wiped the tears from my cheek.

"But if I can recall you did have a thing for Jesse. You finally got the chance to kiss him that's what you wanted." Shawn argued.

"Yeah and I liked it but I don't like it to the point where I lose Michael. He's my boyfriend while Jesse is meant to be a friend and I should've known that."

"So have you talked to Michael since?"

"No, he's been ignoring my calls and texts." I said checking my phone for any notifications but got nothing.

"And Jesse?"

"I don't want to talk to him right now. I don't even want to look in his face. It makes me feel so guilty." I already feel like shit and that's not such a great feeling.

"I know you feel guilty but it happen you know. You had enough time to cry and sulk it time to put your big girl pants on and deal with your problems. You can't avoid Jesse forever. You don't want Michael avoiding you forever." Shawn explained rubbing my back. "So on the note take a shower and come downstairs I'll make some dinner."

I shook my head wiping the rest of my tears away. Shawn gave me a sweet smile and walked out my room closing the door.

I decided to pull myself together for the rest of the day. I got out the bed getting some clothes out of the drawers. 

I got in the shower washing off the stress and the guilt. I made a mistake. Everyone makes a mistake. I'll just give Michael some time. I know he need it.

Stepping out the shower I felt a little lighter. I just need to have a clear and positive mindset. Jesse and I will still be friends. Michael will still love me. I hope he still love me.

I walked over to check my phone just in case Michael call. I pushed them side button but nothing. I pushed it again and received the same outcome.

"Oh my god." My phone was dead. I sped walked to my computer desk and pulled my phone in.

What if Michael called? What if he called to forgive me? "Shit." I muttered frustrated.

I gave my phone a couple minutes to charge up a little before I turned it on. I hurried and checked my call log finding that I had 15 missed calls and 16 text messages. None by Michael.

I sat my phone down in disappointment. I couldn't help but cry. He don't want me anymore I thought.

I was starting to feel sick again. I swallowed all the pain in so Shawn wouldn't have to worry about me any more then he already is.

I can't do this forever. I can't call him, he wouldn't answer. Can't text him, he wouldn't answers. I can't show up to his house because I don't have the courage to see him look at me with hatred. I just hope he still love me

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Only a couple more chapters left and we are Done. Thank you for the readers who still stuck around.
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