it's called being hurt

fifteen

Special thanks to @AM_bloodsucker for the amazing cover!

Showered?
Check!
Breakfast?
Check!
Tidied the room?
Check!

  I still can't believe I told Nich about my virginity!!and he didn't judge me which I didn't expect. He's been super sweet to me since this morning. He made sure I had hot water running so I could shower,he made breakfast and even helped me stretch my hair.

I didn't know being and spending time with Nich would cause me such great joy. We've gotten a little bit comfortable with each other but he still hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend yet. He hasn't ever asked at all,he has only asked for a chance but he never said the 'L' word and i want him too so badly. I go join him on the porch,craving his presence.

Nicholas POV

I haven't been able to stop thinking about her. I mean she's a fucking virg!!how was she able to hold up till now?I'm glad she told me,it meant she trusts me that much. We've grown accustom to each other and I'm glad we have. I really really like her and want to date her but I'm afraid she won't let me in. After all, I did insult her and wounded her ego.

I'm loosing control little by little and I don't like it. She makes my life look disorganized. I mean I don't even know what I'm doing anymore!All I know is that I want to be around her all the time.

"Hey" she calls out from my back and I turn around. I drink in her beauty. She looks so sexy when she wakes up from sleep. I want to drag her into my arms and kiss the hell out of her,kiss her innocence away.

Control Nicholas,Control!

"Hey,when did you get up?" I ask.

"A while back. What are you doing out here?"

"Inside is a little bit hot so I decided to come out and take some fresh air."

She nods with this faraway look in her eyes.

"Hey,why don't we go take a swim?the swimming pool is clean,I cleaned it myself. You know,wash off the heat?"I tell her,hoping she'll say yes.

"I don't have a swimsuit."

"Taken care of. Caleb packed one for you"i smirk.

She growls"remind me to kill him as soon as we get back alright?"

"Aye Aye captain."

We change into our swimsuits and dive into the water. Call me savage yes,I need every second with her ,feeling her close to me,inhaling her scent,admiring her beauty. I have loads of respect for this damsel. Not every young girl you see these days value their virginity, not that I'm saying its bad not to be a virgin!!! I mean its cool to see someone different for a change. I swim to her and lift her chin up with my thumb,staring into her eyes.

"What's w-wrong?"she stammers,almost in a whisper.

I know she feels something,and I'm glad I make her feel it. She's all mine.

"Nothing ,luv,I just wanted to do this,"

I tilt my head and take her lips in mine immediately causing her to release a low moan. I suck and bite her lips,not getting enough,not as much as I want to. I press myself into her,so she could feel me ,feel how much I want her ,how much she makes me feel. I grind into her and she moans,thrusting her hips to match my pace. I can't believe we are making out in the pool. As lovely as her moan sounds,i need control cause I might go further and rip her apart which she definitely will kill me afterwards.

I pull back,dragging some air into my lungs.

"I'm sorry,I got a little carried away." I apologise.

She nods and start leaving the water but i drag her back by her waist.

"Don't go,"I plead."I don't want you to ever go. Please!!!"

"Don't say things like that,Nich. It's better when we are fighting cause now,I don't have a comeback. Don't be sweet ,please. I let you kiss me to satisfy my needs not yours so don't get confused."

"Then be my girlfriend."

Amanda's POV

I look at him with my mouth and eyes wide open. What do I say? What do I do? Should I run out of the water and back my bags and head back to school.?

Don't be a coward mandy!face and fight your fears!

I know I've been dying to date him for two to three months but now that he has actually asked me to be his?I'm chickening out. I'm scared. I love him too much and its scaring me. What if he doesn't love me the same way?what if he loves me less?could i take it?

"I don't like the way I'm feeling Nich. I'm scared"I admit.

"Don't be,let me be here for you ,protect you..."

But he didn't mention love me!!

"Care for you and show you all the good things this life has to offer, my princess. Don't turn me down."he adds.

Do I love him enough to let him hurt me?should i just take the risk? My inner goddess is asking me to risk it but my conscious state is so scared. A tear escape from my eyes and he uses his thumb to wipe it.

"What's wrong ,baby?"he ask

I want to talk normal like nothing is wrong but I find myself sobbing. "I'm scared ,Nich. I don't want to be hurt."
He hugs me whispering suiting words into my ear.

"Getting hurt is part of the package, luv. I can't say I won't hurt you but i can promise to always be there for you and try to make it better if eventually I hurt you."

I nod like a baby,a cry baby.

"Alright then,I'll be your girlfriend. But you have to stop this authoritative attitude. Promise?"

He smirks"promise.. Thank you baby"

     We dry up our bodies and head inside to where he already had grilled fish waiting for us. My boyfriend is a great cook and so romantic. I can't wait to tell Tammy that I've gotten a boifee. Haaahhhaahha. A boifee i can't tell I'm in love with until I'm assured that he's also in love with me. After eating we cuddle on the couch and watch TV.