Nevertheless

Chapter 14- Silence

                 

I shuddered at the thought of my mom's situation. I fell on my knees . I'm too feeble to get up now.

" Maya, so what do we do now?" , asked Shanaya.

" Go back home as soon as possible." , I answered while failing to hold myself on my knees and completely perching on the floor.

" You shouldn't be drowning on your own. Hold yourself on." , said Shanaya.

She sat down with me as well while rubbing my back. Unable to hold my tears , I weeped hard. She bent forward and hugged me tight. I went on weeping aftermath of that. My mom who has been my best friend since my childhood. The person who taught me everything , right from how to speak till how to face the world. Whose food, I love to eat. Who takes care of every need of mine. Who guards my life. Who has always been on my side. Who has supported me through thick and thin. Who has saved me from my dad's anger. Who has sacrificed her part of happiness for me. Just the sight of that face gets a broad smile on my face. It's all my mom. Now , the thought of loosing her gets me shuddered. How will you feel when you are about to loose a person who has been your life since the beginning of the age? You will feel like me. Helpless and lost. Searching for a single ray of hope which can rescue you from this situation ,but eventually getting disappointed since you cannot find any. You will find yourself trapped in deep despair. When nothing can help you and you cannot help anything out , you're lost.

"Lost." , I said.

" What did you just say , Maya?" , asked Shanaya.

" I'm lost.", I said.

"We all get lost sometimes. It's how we learn and how we grow." , said Shanaya.

Her words always seem comforting. But right now, I see no solution.

"Maya, please get up and eat something." , said Shanaya.

" I don't feel like eating now. You guys carry on, you might be hungry. Go and eat.", I said as I slowly got up with the support of my bed. I wiped my face and walked out into the balcony. Shanaya also got up .

"I'm okay now. You go and have food." , I said.

"Turn back, Maya!" , she said.

I didn't turn. She came near me and forcibly turned me towards her side. She found me. She found me in tears . I am not able to control them. She hugged me tight again. When I lay my face on her shoulder , it feels so comforting. I feel protected but she cannot always be there to protect me. I try to manage myself but it really happens only when she helps. I love her. I love her for being herself.

" Maya! Maya!" , Arav breaks in screaming at the zenith of his voice.

I wipe my tears off and try to act normal.

" Where were you all this time?" , he asks.

" I... I was helping Dhanush." , I say tremblingly.

" Dhanush? Why Maya? Why do you wanna help an idiot like that? I'm telling you , this is not gonna cause any good. Will you just stop wasting your time on him? He is just trying to get your attention. You know what he eventually wants." , argues Arav.

" You never know what the other person is going through. Just being little kind towards them won't harm you but can really help the other person. You get it, Arav? Moreover , I don't want to keep enmity with anyone. It only harms you. Understood? Now please go and have lunch." , I cut him off.

" Maya, you lunch will be served in your room. Take rest." , said Shanaya and they both left.

Arav seemed puzzled. He was constantly questioning Shanaya. She pulled him out of my room however. I rested for an hour. Not exactly rest but thinking about what's next. Now, I'm gonna walk down to tell everyone , everything.

As I walked down, I saw everyone busy in their phones.

" Listen everyone. We are going back tomorrow." , I said curtly.

" Maya, why are you sore and high today?" , asked Arav.

" Everybody gets high sometimes you know, what else can we do we're feeling low." , said Shanaya.

I didn't mean to be curt but my throat is so sore that I cannot speak in a normal tone. I explained everything as patiently as I could. Everyone agreed and we decided to go back the next morning. We all packed our suitcases all evening and sadness was spread everywhere. I refused to eat dinner as well. Before sleeping , " Mom  , I'm coming!" , I said to myself.

We got up early this morning and set off for Delhi. We took a flight to Delhi. As soon as I reached , I rushed to the hospital. This is the same hospital where Siddharth was brought earlier. I ran up to the ICU and the doctor didn't let me in. They told me that her left leg got completely paralyzed due to a vasospasm in cranial nerve which was connected to the leg. They also told me that the condition is really serious due to clots all over the body. I just asked one thing, "How much time do we have left?". "Maybe 2-3 weeks" , said the doctors. I didn't speak anything after that . Neither did I cry. I was just silently standing all the time. Shanaya tried talking to me but I didn't respond. I couldn't respond. Shanaya took me home in spite of my resistance to go. She left me in my room for sometime. I was lost in deep thoughts. Then she came back.

" Maya, eat. Please , you haven't eaten anything since yesterday." , she said.

I sighed no.

" Maya, let me feed you then." , she said.

I didn't respond. I silently got up and went into the washroom. I washed my face and changed my dress. Shanaya was sitting in the room all the time. After 1 hour of silent business .

" I knew you wouldn't listen to me so easily. But sis, I got my own ways to fix your stubborn attitude." , she said.

" I looked at her in anticipation. Then I sat down making an effort to read a novel. After 10 minutes , someone suddenly opened the door of my room. I didn't care to see who was it.

" Maya.." , he said.

I know this voice. I looked at the door. It was Sid! I'm seeing him properly after so many days! But still, the deep despair I was trapped in didn't let me speak out. He came forward and sat down. I was just gazing at him. He took the plate from Shanaya's hand.

" Maya, you are eating now !", he ordered.

I closed my eyes and the whole yesterday flashed into brain. Dad's call , Vrushika's message, Mom's situation and then the doctors words "2 – 3 weeks". I couldn't resist. Tears flushed out and I said "Mom". I started crying again. I knew that if I open my mouth , I would start crying. But seeing Sid's face gave me sense of protection. A surety that I can speak out. A sense of support. Sid held me. I just cried out like a baby saying " Sid.. Sid mom is gonna leave me. I want her Sid.. I want her".

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