Nevertheless

Chapter 11- The realization

Arav made me drink some water . I calmed down. The thing about best friends is they teach us how to live life but , they never teach us how to live without them. It was lunch time and we didn't have any option except for eating the hot Maggi at the small stalls. I don't really like the regular Maggi but I like the fried one. Well, right now I have to fill my stomach. We went there and we sat down. Eating lunch in snow, this feels so amazing. I put the first spoon in my mouth and shockingly , it was tasty. When you are hungry, every single thing seems tasty. The magic of hunger. We ate ,till we felt like puking. We sat down in the snow. Each one of us were so full that we couldn't even move. We played until it was 2 pm. Then we drove back to our cottage which was 2 hours away.

It is around 4:15 pm now and I'm not able to move. I came up and fell on my bed. Playing in snow is very tiring. My party begins at about 7. Therefore, I have time to sleep. I thought I would sleep but as soon as I closed my eyes, something is not letting me sleep. Once upon a time he was the sunshine who lit my world, now he is a nightmare that I fear. As I close my eyes , only one image is being out up by my brain. Sid's face. He was the first one to wish me till last year. Seeing his name show up on my phone would make me smile. But now, when my brain is showing up his image I don't even wanna close my eyes. Times have changed. On my 15th birthday , he sang that cute song for me. On my 16th birthday, he took me on a drive on his bike for the first ever time. We roamed for at least 4 hours. On my 17th birthday , he told me 17 reasons about why am I important to him. And when my 18th birthday has almost come to an end , I clearly know that I won't receive his wishes even. One year can do a lot to a person's life. There were times when we were happy. In fact, the two most happiest humans on the earth. We used to go for movies. We wouldn't hangout very often. It was just once in 6 months but still there was something that would satisfy me. There was that desperate urge to meet. Because I knew that he would be just as interested as me. But I stopped seeing that feeling in him slowly. It wasn't at all there in him anymore. It faded. Instead, he started feeling that it's boring to meet me. I never understood why? After this much time had passed , I understood that time heals everything. It has the capacity to heal the deepest scars caused. If something's wrong then it should be given time and everything becomes alright. And if we come to the reason why all that happened to me then,

I DIDN'T LEARN , I ONLY REALISED

THERE IS NO TRUTH, I AVOIDED LIES,

THERE WAS NO MORNING.

JUST A RECOVERY FROM THE NIGHTMARE.

I have managed to see things that wasn't able to see.

I realized that when he said , " Bye , good night. I gtg," and didn't go offline till 2 hours after that. We didn't run out of topics , we just ran out of feelings. As I said , "Every story doesn't really have a happy ending. Especially, when it's one sided." I was the only one who was putting efforts.

When he cancelled our hangout plans. I realized that he didn't really have any important work. It's just that his priorities had changed.

When our calls became merely a way to let each other know that we're alive and had no real talk. I realized that there was nothing left to talk about as we didn't have anything in common to acknowledge in the conversation.

When he stopped teasing me. I realized that I seemed silly to him.

But there is one thing that I'm still not able to realize. Why did he come to my rescue whenever I was in a problem when he didn't care about me?

I never know....

He was permitted to hurt me with the truth but I could never permit him to comfort me with a lie. And maybe that's why I did whatever I did.

Thinking all this, I didn't realize that the time was already 6 pm and I had to get ready. I got up and washed my face. I never celebrated my birthday without Siddharth since we met. But it's okay. I am blessed with lovely friends and I'm happy about. Lately, I have learned to be happy with whatever I have. I put up a short black frock which was just an inch longer from my knees. I applied some cream to my face and powder as well. I put black plastic flowers on my head and left it open. I wore a full hands dress so I didn't need a bracelet. And finally some eye liner to makes me look perfect. I wore black boots and walked towards the mirror. I look really beautiful. If me and Sid were fine, then by this time I would have sent a picture of my awesome look to him and he would have replied with heart stickers and a heart melting message. A sudden scream from behind made my stop my 'if thoughts'.

It was Manya who had just casually walked into my room. She came up running to me.

" Dude , you look stunning!" , she said.

" Thank you so much!" , I replied with gratitude.

" I never saw you dressed up this beautifully since last year. Do this little often Maya , that would be nice." , she continued.

" Sure, I'll consider this advice madam." , I giggled.

We walked down stairs. As expected everyone were shocked. I was showered with loads of compliments. It was no sooner that the door bell rang. Arav opened it and it was Dhanush. Arav grabbed Dhanush by his collar and said ," Who the hell told you to come here?" After all that he did , Arav would definitely react that way. But I stopped Arav.

" I did! I invited him. Stop now !" , I said.

No one understood anything. They all looked at me in anticipation. Like they all seemed more angry than confused. How should I explain them now? Ahh!