Fin's Claim

Alpha Finian

Hurt

Emotions always swirl inside me just below the surface. Any little thing brings out my storm that is barely contained inside myself.

I have ugly smears of color that resemble bruises on my soul. My dark thoughts, my dark words leave me calloused, hardened over all my soft spots. It's how I'm surviving.

"We are over that."

"With words like that it makes me believe we aren't. Say what you need to say Fin." Direct and to the point, sounding like the Alpha he's become.

"I apologize." Another long pause for the both of us. Deep fissures have formed between the two of us that will always remain open.

"We're having a party this Saturday, I thought maybe you would like to come and meet her. She is part of our family now. Mom would like to see you, it's been a year now since we saw you last. Everyone misses you, including me." He knows what to say. He always has the ability to not only get under my skin but to sway my thinking. He would have made a great Beta to me if that was my path.

"I'll come."

"Good. Why don't you stay for a while? You can do the same as you're doing there, nothing."

"Grey." It's a warning to him, my voice dropping slightly. A prickling sensation raises my back fur. This has been happening more and more to me. Any little challenge or slight of words has my nature trying to show it's dominance.

"Fin, I was joking. Can't brothers joke." His laugh relaxes me. I start to laugh with him.

"I do have it pretty good here." I try to sound happy.

"Fin, anytime you change your mind. I will step down for you. I just want you to know this. It's a lot harder than I thought it would be. I'm trying hard to be the Alpha that father would be proud of-" His voice tightens in his throat. I can feel mine constricting as well. Whenever our father is mentioned makes me feel such profound crimson anger.

It's all Victoria's fault, she's responsible for everything bad that's happened in my life. All she deserves is death, I just hope that her father ends her soon. It's a shame really, such a waste of potential. Things could have been different if she didn't defile herself.

"Grey, the North is yours. I will never come for it. Never." I mean everything I say to him. I don't want any territory, I don't want to be responsible for all those wolves lives, one bad decision has them dying because of me. I just can't handle the pressure of it.

"Then come back and be my Beta." He's actually serious.

"I am no one's Beta." I can feel my muscles start to engorge with the blood pumping through them. I've started to grow more lately, putting on muscle. The nature of who I am showing through on my body. I would never be mistaken for a Beta.

Alpha born that's who I am.

"How's mom?"

"Surviving." That's sums up her life now, she's just surviving. She's just putting in her time before joining our father up in the moon.

My only consolation is that when I go to the moon, Victoria will never be there to meet me. The moon would never let someone like her inside. She's to defective to ever be allowed within her grace.

"Another reason for the party is that the far northern tribe is coming. The exchange is scheduled for that weekend and I was hoping that you would be at my side greeting them. This is the first time I have to deal with them."

"Borson hates me, Grey, he's never gotten over me killing his brother."

"I think hate is too gentle a word for how he feels about you, Fin. It really doesn't matter how he feels, our packs have been doing this exchange for generations. Plus mother just came back from the Mating Ceremony, she thinks he's full of himself right now and is looking to expand his territory. He just ascended into the Alpha position and taken his Luna. Mom says that I should have you at my side to face him." I can tell by the tone of Grey's voice that he wants me to be there, it's his very own way of begging without the beg.