homophobic • gxg [✔]

ten

My eyes widen at the words "pesky disease". I simply always thought being gay was just a sexuality, not some type of illness.

But, I guess that's what they make websites for. To prove others wrong.

I skim through some of the guidelines, and start reading the steps.

Oh, boy, this would take quite a while to understand.

~~~~~~~~~
Sunday

After about a day of interpreting the meaning of all 5 steps, I wrote them down and made it into a list.

♡ Janelle's 5 Ways to Cure Homosexuality ♡

Day 1: Being honest with your sins

Day 2: Stop calling homosexuality a healthy lifestyle; It's awful and full of sin

Day 3: Change for the right reasons

Day 4: Apologize to anyone you went off at for calling you a "faggot that will go to Hell"

Day 5: Change and remove anything about yourself that's gay

I stared at the list for a couple of minutes, before taping it to my weekly planner clipboard and going to the living room.

Much to my surprise, Mom was in there, playing cards.

"Hi, Ma'" I greet her, sitting down across from her.

"Oh, hello Janelle. Are you alright? You look a little messy and your eyes are bloodshot red." My mom asks with concern.

"Yeah, just a little tired." I say, rubbing my eye. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the full truth.

"Oh, alright." Is all she says, and we play a game of cards.

"So," She finally speaks up, eyes on the cards. "Have you found a girl yet?"

My gaze goes from the cards to my mom, instantly standing up, trying not to cry.

"Um," I say, trying not to break into tears, "No. But, I just remembered, I have homework. See you later Ma'" I run out of the living room and into my room, shutting the door and sliding down to the floor.

I being my knees to my chest, sighing.

Don't cry, don't cry.

"Shut up." I mumble, getting up and sitting at my desk.

I stare down at the weekly planner. I glanced at the description of each day and what to do.

What if it doesn't work, genius?

I open my laptop, and it was still on the same site.

The very last disclaimer, at the bottom, was simply my answer.

"If the steps do not work," I hesitated at reading the rest, "Then seek conversion therapy. That would be the only logical thing to do."

Janelle, do not do it.

Do it, Janelle. You need to feel the hurt and anger that you made your friends feel. Do it.

I sigh, rubbing my head. The bad side was of course the logical side.
The good side was simply the comforting and cautious side.

I look down at my list of cures once again. A part of me wanted to throw it away, restart my life, and try to get my friends back.

That part of me just wanted to be happy and relive the day I went to the pier with Jade. I was free of worries, uncaring. I just wanted to be with her. Happy. Gay.

But, I didn't throw the paper away. I kept it as it was. The other part of me knew what had to be done.

I already messed everything up, and this was the time to change it.

No one was simply happy with me anymore, I had to be that changed all of that.

Make new friends and hide the old, was the saying.

All I wanted to come from out of this was to be happy.

And to be straight.

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a/n: lmao it's about time I update. Sorry, I just didn't feel like doing anything but sleep all weekend oops.

Y'all won't believe how long it took me to research and come up with these homosexuality curing steps without plagiarizing.

It broke my heart reading all of those sites, all those religious bastards smh.

But like I updated so yay

Word Count: 1143