Kiss My Assimilation

Chapter 6 - The Show Must Go On

Peter went to the door and propped it back in its frame. "Don't want any more interruptions do we?"

"I thought he'd never leave." Said John nervously. He went towards the fridge and took a water bottle.

"I almost had a heart attack. God. When I signed on for this as a favor to my uncle, I didn't see 'survive alien invasion' in the fine print." Annie said white as a sheet.

"You and me both sister." Said David coming out of the shower. "When I heard his voice, I didn't dare come out. It was Nathan Caulfield wasn't it?"

"Yes, it was him who gave me that bloody cat. That man is at the root of all this. I'm sure of it." Annie said.

"What a bloody mess," Mathew said.

"We better get ready. The show must go on." Peter said.

Four pairs of eyes turned his way.

"Did you say 'the show must go on' to us?" David said rushing Peter, ruffling his hair.

"My hair!" Peter exclaimed combing his hair with his fingers. "Guess I sounded a bit like a wanker didn't I?" Peter said.

"A bit?" Mathew said.

"Oh come off it guys, we need to get ready," Annie said in a stern voice.

She didn't hear John saying in a low voice. "Yes, mom."

They were ready on time. When they got on stage, Annie could see how nervous the guys were. But they coped very well, they were used to stressful situations before. The show was a brilliant success and Annie couldn't help looking around at people's faces; trying to find signs of the contagion. Nothing, not surprising. She hadn't found anything wrong with the guys either. When they had been infected with the alien contagion, they had behaved in a very normal way. Nothing off character. Maybe a little better behaved than usual. Then again, she barely knew them. It was hard to judge people's behavior on such a slight acquaintance. How could they see who was infected and who wasn't? They had to get out of here. Somehow find transportation and isolate themselves from the general population. Less of a chance to run into the infected.

They also needed a plan. A good one if they wanted to survive this. But to formulate a good plan, they needed more info. Was it an alien invasion? A plague? Evolution? Were the cats trying to take over? No. Somehow, Caulfield was linked to all of this.

The guys were being interviewed right now. Annie decided to seek out Caulfield and question him. She realized that it might be a tad dangerous to try to interview your friendly neighborhood alien conqueror, so she stopped at the lobby store and stocked up on breath fresheners. The minty kind.

Finding Caulfield was easier than she anticipated, he was the one who found her.

"Mz. Goldman, there you are." He looked at her more closely. "Are you well Mz. Goldman? You seem out of sorts and your skin has a sickly green tint to it."

"Could I talk to you in private sir? It's about the guys, they want to know about something. Something quite embarrassing to ask in public." She mumbled, now realized what she was doing. The breath fresheners had been a freak accident and now she wasn't so sure they were the thing that defeated the monsters earlier. She was putting her life on the very unscientific assumption that the stuff inside the little bottles had indeed saved her. She was going to die. God. She was so stupid.

"Yes?" He asked, waking her from her dreadful reveries.

"Sorry M. Caulfield, it's just... Oh, this is embarrassing."

"This way please. We shan't be disturbed here." He motioned for her to a beautiful office. The room was huge. It was decorated with all kinds of golden records. She read 'The Beetles - Abbey Road' on one of them.

"Wow," Annie said in awe, taking in the scenery.

"It is easy to be distracted in this room," Caulfield smiled. "Please sit down and tell me all."

"Well, you see sir, it's this. I'm worried about the guys. Your zoo therapy worked, don't get me wrong. But I'm afraid it might have worked too well. They seem unresponsive somehow." Annie blurted out, faking nervousness. Not hard with the present situation she was stuck in.

"Unresponsive? Are they performing well?"

"Oh yes sir, that's not it. They seem... Distant somehow."

"And you wonder if I might have some advice for you?"

"Yes, sir."

"That's nothing to be embarrassed about young lady," Caulfield said in a soothing voice.

"Oh, that's not it. You see, I'm attracted to older, hum, gentlemen." She got up and circled around Caulfield's desk, taking out one of the little breath freshener bottles.

Oh my God, please don't let me die, Annie thought as she approached the astonished Caulfield. He started to open his mouth to say something. In a quick movement, she sprayed a jet of minty freshness into his mouth. He coughed, surprised by the sudden intake of liquid. Annie backed away quickly and held her breath for the inevitable.

She was surprised when Caulfield's complexion moved away from crimson, cleared his voice and said. "That was... Minty. I assure you there's no need for it I'm afraid. I brush my teeth regularly and my breath is quite fresh." He stood up and guided a very confused Annie back to her seat.

"But... Oh my God. I'm so sorry M. Caulfield. I thought you were a..." She choked on the last words.

"A what miss Goldman? An eligible older bachelor?"

"I'm sorry about that too. I only said that to get closer to you."

"And here I thought I was making a conquest. Pity." He said laughing.

"Not your fault sir, I'm attracted to girls. I don't fancy boys at all. Sorry."

"Then why all this embarrassing charade? I say embarrassing for you. I can't wait for the explanation for all of this. You've made my day miss Goldman. Come on, do tell. Don't make me beg." Caulfield said, resting his chin on his interlocked hands.

She hesitated at first and slowly started to tell him everything that happened after he had dropped Brian Baugmarten's cat in her lap. The flow of her story increased as she talked. Caulfield listened patiently not interrupting.

"Mmm. I've heard about British humor but don't you think this is a bit much miss Goldman? I mean. Space parasites?"

The office door opened and none other than Jennifer freaking Lopez came in.

Annie was drooling now and she knew she couldn't help it.