cancer girl. // finished

Entry 6

Today was a awesome day considering the fact that death and cancer were on my mind. It's the 25th of October, also known as my birthday.  Oh the joy! My family woke me up at 7.34am to sing me a happy birthday and made me breakfast in bed.  I put on a fake smile and thanked them. They put, well my parents put a lot of effort into the day. The least I could do was pretend I was happy.  Afterall I was going to die. Soon enough in like a year or less.

I got out of bed and took a shower and brushed my teeth.  I headed down the stairs and surprisingly my brothers were nice and let me watch t.v without any trouble. It was nice and I wish that could happen more often but unfortunately this is me and I was meant to have a crappy life. Oh well. At least I'm going to leave this hell hole I call life.

My mother told me to dress up in something nice.  By that she means a dress but instead of objecting her request I decided to obey her for once. Although I was made to wear a dress, I did not wear heels. Instead I wore my black converses to match my black dress. We were going somewhere 'special' but to be honest I don't want to go anywhere.  I just want to sit in front of the t.v and watch movies while eating pizza because that's what I call a perfect birthday.

The car ride was quiet apart from my mother, who kept going on about how fun the party would be for me.  Would she care if I died? Would she slowly go insane with the fact she has lost her only daughter?  I didn't want her to.  I knew I was being selfish, not telling them I had cancer and not planning on getting the treatment but I don't want my life to keep going back instead of forward.  Plus I was doing them a favour.  They wouldn't have to spend their time or money planning me birthday's like this.

Once the car stopped, my father put a blindfold on me and led me to wherever.  We stopped and I could tell it was dark. The blindfold was removed and people jumped out of their hiding spots yelling 'surprise.'

They attacked me in a hug and once they pulled away I looked around.  There was no pink. The main colours were black, purple and blue.  There were loads of cardboard cut-outs of my favourite celebrities and idols and the cake was three layers with a picture of Bring Me The Horizon on top. It was perfect.  I teared up and hugged my parents who hugged back.  They went through all this trouble just to plan me this birthday party. My favourite music blared in the speakers and my friends kept asking me to dance with them and I gave in. We took loads of selfies and I guess I was a tad bit jealous of the fact that they looked like model's in their dresses and I looked like well me but I shook it off.  There was loads of people from my primary school and I wanted to gag. I didn't really like any of them for putting me down but I had to enjoy myself.

After all the dancing I felt thirsty and went to the refreshments area.  This must be how prom feels like.  I looked over to my older brother to see him surrounded by girls from my year.  He mimed help me and I laughed and shrugged.  I actually laughed and my older brother was actually being nice to me.  I decided on a can of coke and looked up to see the cutest boy ever. He had black hair and a lip ring. His eyes were the brightest green. He was dressed in a suit but wore the same converses as me. I guess I was staring because he smiled at me and said 'Happy Birthday Cutiee' I blushed and he smiled and I swear I would literally melt on the spot.  We talked for a while and I found out he was my friends older cousin and he went to an all boys school.  We had lots in common and we traded numbers.

The night was amazing and I wished it could go on forever but sadly it couldn't.  This was the happiest I've ever been and it feels good to be happy.  I get this warm feeling inside and a smile that wouldn't go. Feeling happy made me wish I didn't have cancer and I wasn't going to die but I am and I have to get used to it.

Well reader I most honestly say that I had fun today and I felt normal because I wasn't that sad as always.  I know tomorrow all this would be forgotten but I would remember it forever.

Tiredness has overcome me so good night reader and have sweet dreams.

Love, Unknown