All That Glitters ||NaruSasu|| ✔️

The Aftermath

"But it's not..." I try to reason, "because I scared you and that's not okay."

"You saved me," he says again. "I never thanked you for it... so, thank you."

"You don't need to thank me," I whisper. "I'd do it again... and that might not be what you want to hear, but it's just like Itachi said... He's not sorry. I'm not sorry, either. I'm not sorry for hitting him. I'm only sorry for scaring you."

"I know," Sasuke murmurs, wringing his hands. A moment later, he opens his eyes and stares at me.

"He'll never touch you again," I promise. "They'll lock him away for a long fucking time."

"If he wakes up," Sasuke points out. "And even then... maybe they won't. You know how the justice system works, Naruto. He won't be gone for long."

"Do you want him to die instead?" I wonder.

"I don't know what I want," he admits.

I inch towards him and run my knuckles down his cheek. "Doesn't matter," I assure him.

"Hm."

But I think I get it. I scared him and he wasn't able to tell me without someone else in the room – someone he felt completely safe with. I guess I really did fuck up. Funny, in a sad way. I used to be the one beating Sasuke up (and vice versa). Now he can hardly stand the sight of me beating somebody else up.

Sasuke continues to talk to Kakashi. I remain silent and when it begins to darken outside, Sasuke stands up. "We should head back," he says to me.

I follow him to my feet and nod. "Sounds good."

Kakashi walks us to the door. "Want me to drive you back?" he offers.

"No, it's okay," Sasuke insists.

We slip our shoes back on and I add, "Thanks for having us over."

Kakashi gives me that same smile – the one he showed me earlier – and he holds up a hand. "Anytime."

Sasuke wraps his arms around Kakashi, who does the same. He puts a hand on Sasuke's shoulder and the other on his head. "Thank you," Sasuke murmurs into Kakashi's shirt.

"I'm proud of you," Kakashi says out of the blue and Sasuke tightens his grip visibly.

"Thank you," he says again. A moment later, they part and exchange glad smiles. I take Sasuke's hand and after saying our goodbyes, we head out. We exit the apartment building and enter the dim outdoors.

"Do you feel threatened when he's around?" Sasuke asks as we walk to the bus stop.

"I did at first," I admit, "but I don't now."

"I met him at the start of the year," Sasuke murmurs. "A few months ago I got drunk once and came to his house. I kissed him and he told me to stop. I was kind of surprised because I've never been shut down like that. He let me sleep in his bed and he took the sofa for the night. That's when I realized he was different. He wasn't going to fuck me even if I begged him to. He wasn't going to take advantage of me when I drank too much. He's the first man I've met who didn't disappoint me... He's the first man I didn't feel threatened by."

I nod my head slowly. I don't really understand it. It's too sad, but I guess if I experienced the same things Sasuke has experienced, I'd be wary of older dudes as well.

"So," Sasuke continues, "in the morning I was going to make a quick escape, but he caught me and sat me down to talk about my life choices." Sasuke shakes his head, laughing at the memory. "I got pretty defensive. I didn't want to talk, so he started talking instead. He told me he used to have a drinking problem. He said that when he drank, he always drank too much... but it only became a daily event after his wife and baby died. That was ten years ago, though. He said he doesn't drink anymore. He said after he stopped, everything got better. Instead of numbing him, the alcohol made things worse. It made him dwell. Sobriety helped him move on."

"H-how did they die?" I ask, stuttering out the question since we're on topic.

Sasuke frowns. "Rin, his wife, didn't work after getting pregnant. She stayed at home with the baby. Kakashi is a university professor. He was away on a conference and someone broke into his house – killed Rin and the baby. Later they found out it was a jealous, psychotic ex-boyfriend of Rin's. He's in prison now..."

"Shit," I whisper.

"Mhm," Sasuke muses. "The point being... really bad shit happens. So, sometimes I feel bad complaining because other people have it worse."

"Don't compare your problems," I tell him. "There is no way to compare what happened to you and what happened to Kakashi. Both were awful. Neither was worse than the other. Okay?"

"Okay," he murmurs.

When the bus pulls up, we sit in the front this time since it's getting late. There are lots of weirdoes on the bus at night and they all tend to congregate in the back.

It's around 8PM when we get back to Sasuke's house. By then, Fugaku and my dad are there as well. Sasuke puts on a smile for everyone as greeting are exchanged.

"What did you boys do?" Mikoto asks.

"We went to visit some friends," I tell her vaguely.

"Oh, how nice," she says.

"You missed dinner," my mom points out. "Are you boys hungry?"

"Not particularly," Sasuke says.

"I'm fine," I add.

After the Q and A, me and Sasuke retreat upstairs. He turns the lights off so we're alone in the dark. He sits on his mattress and leans against the pillow. I sit next to him and do the same so we're side by side.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"I'm fine," he insists. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know... because I scared the hell out of you?" I mention.

"You saved me," he responds offhandedly. "That makes it three times now. When Itachi attacked me, when I tried to off myself and then the last time."

"You keep saying that," I mutter, "you're saying it like you're trying to write over the fact that I scared you... but you shouldn't have to do that. I saved you, yeah, but I scared you, too."

"I'm being so fucking dramatic," he groans, rubbing his hands down his face. "It shouldn't bother me."

"We used to beat each other up," I point out. "Maybe that's why it bothers you. Now that we're together, you don't want to see me like that."

"Hm," he muses thoughtfully. "I'm here trying to convince myself that I deserve to feel safe. It's something I've never really expected from anyone before... You make me feel safe at times... but at other times you're unpredictable."

"I know," I whisper. "I want to make you feel safe all the time, not just sometimes..."

"It's okay," Sasuke promises. "We're both a little fucked up. It's okay."

"Is it?" I wonder.

"Yeah," he insists. After a brief silence, we hear rhythmic creaking coming from the room next to Sasuke's. I glance at him and he grimaces. "Itachi and Kisame," is all he says.

"Doing the do?" I ask.

"Yeah," Sasuke mutters. "His mattress... is kind of old and it doesn't make for inconspicuous fucking." I make an 'o' shape with my mouth before chuckling. Sasuke smiles slightly, lying down and shrugging out of his jeans so he's left in his shorts and shirt. Then he gets under the covers and sighs. "I'm so tired lately," he admits.

"Understandable," I say. "It's been a pretty awful week."

"Are you going back to school tomorrow?" Sasuke asks.

"I don't know," I say.

"Don't," he murmurs.

"All right." I lie down and he curls into me.

"Stay here tonight, okay?" he asks.

"I will," I promise.

"I love you." He says the words so quietly, I wonder if I heard them right.

Nonetheless, I say, "I love you, too."