All That Glitters ||NaruSasu|| ✔️

Getting The Words Out

Sasuke lets out a breath, but says nothing. It's Wednesday. Strangely enough, the day was quiet. I guess Ino didn't spill the beans. Surprising. She's got a big mouth when it comes to secrets.

"Are you okay?" I ask. We're sitting in the living room at my house. Tonight is the night. We're going to tell our parents. Mikoto and Fugaku are coming over for dinner, so we'll be letting our relationship be known. It's probably going to get awkward.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Sasuke wonders airily.

"I don't know," I mutter. There are lots of reasons. He has about a hundred reasons to feel like total shit, but... he continues to insist he's doing just fine.

"Yes, you do," he calls me out. "Spill it. What's on your mind?"

"Something really fucking bad happened to you," I say quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!" I insist. "I mean, for fuck's sake... you were hardly fazed by it when the ordeal was over. It's the worst crime in the world. It's complete degradation and humiliation. It's using someone's body against them. That fucking happened to you... but you're okay with it?"

"I'm not okay with it," he snaps. "I just don't want to fucking think about it. It's something that happened, just like you said. Past tense, Naruto. It happened. What do you expect me to do? Dwell? Cry about it forever and be afraid to be touched? Everyone is different. This is how I'm going to deal with it, okay? So, just drop it."

"Fine," I murmur, but I think I get it now. He'll never say it aloud and I really don't want to believe it could be true, but it probably wasn't the first time he got hurt like that. Nonetheless, I swear it's going to be the last. He dances around certain topics. I noticed it when I asked what happened to him at Kiba's party. He tip toed around the details. Maybe he really did forget what went down... but I feel like he remembers more than he's willing to admit.

Kiba won't ever know, either. I know his heart would probably break if he found out something that awful happened in his own house.

"I've been doing stupid things for so damn long it's almost gotten easy," Sasuke says, closing his eyes. "I relax my body. I distract my mind. I think about things that don't make me sick to my stomach. I accept it for what it is... and when it's over, I forget."

"It shouldn't be easy," I tell him weakly. "That's so fucking sad... You know, it's not something you should get used to. It's not. It's fucking wrong."

"I know," he says. "It's pretty stupid, but it's all I can do."

"You got cocaine from him," I recall.

"My one true weakness," Sasuke jokes somewhat sadly. "You should start keeping a leash on me."

I nudge him lightly. "How many times did it happen?" I ask.

"What?"

"How many times were you forced?" I specify awkwardly, whispering the last word.

"I don't know," he admits. "What counts?"

"Any time you've said no," I start. "Any time you've remained silent. Every time you've been coerced. Every time you've been drugged. Any time you've felt afraid for your life or afraid to protest."

"Hn," he scoffs. "No. We're not going to have this conversation, Naruto."

"Why the hell not?" I ask.

"You'll just get angry."

"I'd love to know why you aren't angry," I mutter.

"Because," he starts, "I'm used to it."