uninvited

chapter four

"Is this where you tell me how wonderful I am? Don't bother."

"Why? You don't believe me?"

"You love me. You have to say all that."

"I do love you. Last I checked, no one was making me. I choose to love you. Choose to be here. Every day since I was seven. No matter how many people come in and out of my life, it's always you. If I'm having a bad day, you're the only one I can stand to have around. I need a pep talk or a slap upside the head, you're the only one I trust to do it. Hell Jess, I do nothing without you or without talking to you about it first. Why do you think that is?"

"You're a glutton for punishment? Crazy?"

"We fit. I'm not sure what we fit but we fit. You and me. Me and you."

"No one thinks we make sense."

"Yet it makes perfect sense to me. You're my other half so how can I be better than you? How can you think anybody is better than you? Do you think your mom would feel any better if it was you laying here?"

He didn't need her to answer so went on. "Know your worth. I do."

"I do."

"Not even close and that is why I hate your dad with every fiber of my being. He did this to you. And it ends now. It sucks that Danny and Michael are gone. My parents. Rue. It sucks. They didn't deserve this but neither do you. If it was my choice, I wouldn't trade any of them for you."

"Julian!"

"It's true. I'm sorry but it is. Thing is, it doesn't matter. I don't get to choose. You don't get to choose. They're gone. More may go, and none of it will because they deserve it. You're beautiful. God, it amazes me that you don't know how beautiful you are. You're smart. Don't even get me started on your talent. Your voice. Your writing. And you won't even share it with anyone. Yes, you're a pain in the ass. Sometimes you need your mouth washed out. You just about always need a swift kick, but I wouldn't change one little thing about you."

"Are you a freaking fan club?"

"The President. Just like you're mine."

He walked to the other side of the yard and started digging another hole.

"Changed your mind about shoving me in one of these?"

"If that day ever comes it will be the worst day of my life. I'll completely break. Think about that when you're thinking about giving up."

The new hole was small and when he finished, he looked up at her. "Your dad left. He was a fucking dumbass. It had nothing to do with you. Or Danny. Or Mel. Or your mom. He was an all-time dumbass. Anything wrong laid with him. He's gone. He's dead by now and it's time you let him go. Right now. Let him go. Hold on to Danny but let your dad go."

"You're getting mighty bossy." She said, fingering the watch hanging around her neck.

"Deal with it. Starting today, we grieve only for people who deserve it."

He was right. She pulled the chain, breaking it and tossed it at her feet. She'd never liked it anyway and only wore it to remind herself what happened when you believe in the wrong people. "Bossy shit."

"The sooner you realize he's gone and dead the better."

"Oh, trust me, he's dead to me. Deader than dead." Jess pointed at him than her. "We need to go back to me being the boss in this relationship."