At Least We Have Good Weather: A Life of Love and Loss

Chapter 39

Ain't nothing change but the date, and come October of 2010, I was preparing for another birthday alone. By now at least my work colleagues respected that I didn't do the birthday thing, and the wishes and balloons were kept to a minimum.

Over the past year I had become a casual acquaintance with an Indian girl named Tricia.

She was a promoter who had moved up from Durban to Johannesburg to try and make a career for herself in the music industry. She always sought my advice where she could, owing to my experience in several aspects of the industry, and I always encouraged her.

We struck up a friendship, and so when she urgently asked me to help out with a lift to the train station so she could catch a flight back home, I didn't even question the favour, and dropped everything to go fetch her. That was always the kind of guy I was.

During our journey to the station, it came out that she would be returning on the day of my birthday, and she suggested we should spend it together.

I, naturally doubtful, said that she didn't have to; as deep inside I felt it was just a gesture in return for the favour I was doing for her at that exact time. She insisted, and I accepted. I tried not to allow myself to be excited, but could feel inside I was smiling.

After the crazy year I was having, maybe, just maybe I would actually have a good birthday with a cute girl.

My instincts had become like a sick paranoia that polluted my life, as the next 48 hours leading up to my birthday consumed my thoughts. Till eventually, I gave in and allowed myself to be excited about her return.

I realized that the details of the return flight time had never actually been addressed, and I had no idea when to expect her. Not wanting to seem desperate about seeing her, I simply just waited.

The day of my birthday passed like any other day in my life, without even a wish from her or an excuse for standing me up, till eventually at about 8pm, I got a text from her. She said that she had just woken up, and maybe we could do something the next day, but hoped that I had had an awesome birthday.

Instead of being angry with her, I felt myself more disappointed in myself for thinking it would be any different. Sure, a negative defeatist attitude, but a factually correct one, nonetheless.

I never saw Tricia again, and although she did request my driving services one more time following that, I chose on that occasion to politely decline. I guess it was possible for me to learn a lesson.

A few weeks following that, it was once again time for the next global conference, this time being held in Barcelona.

"Wow, Spain!", I thought. But before I could even think something other than "Wow, Spain!", I was immediately told by the newly appointed manager, that I would not be attending the conference this time round and he felt he should send someone else. One of the more senior people would be going, as "they had not been overseas all year".

They had just pulled the senior rotation card on me. Even though the invite had been extended to me, I got red-taped out of going to a conference that was intended specifically for my job. I was pretty angry about the whole situation, and felt severely disrespected.

My mentor, Dave, had left the company just over a year prior, as he moved his family to Australia, and despite my begging him to adopt me, I was left to sink or swim for the first time since joining the company. I had worked my cute white butt cheeks off to prove that I was more than Dave's injured little bird, as one colleague once put it, but I felt I had done him proud in establishing myself as the asset he always believed I would be to the company.