At Least We Have Good Weather: A Life of Love and Loss

Chapter 26

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My day with Carmen was a strange one.

Sure, maybe not quite as strange as the events of the previous evening that involved Nigerians, hookers and car accidents, but confusing nonetheless.

Irish boyband Westlife were out in the country to perform at an afternoon concert that included several local acts.

Also on the bill, were an up-and-coming girl group known as NKD. The group consisted of three talented girls I had grown very close to during my time working on Idols, including my Baby Vee, now going by her nickname of Nicky. Because of my close relationship with them, Dave ensured that I was involved in multiple aspects of their careers. It was my first real project when I joined the label. I sometimes felt like the kid tagging along with the adults in the company, but with NKD my opinion was actually taken seriously.

Because NKD were part of the afternoon's festivities, I was working very hard that day, even going as far as working the merchandise table when there was nobody to help.

Carmen met me at the venue, and was clearly impressed by how involved I was. I was making a very good second impression.

It was an all day festival, and Carmen not once showed signs of being bored or ignored. Eventually my work commitments were done for the day, and we spent some time in the VIP tent, even getting a spot of dinner amongst my famous "friends" who I had accumulated over the last few years.

Throughout the day's events, Carmen had made it clear she was a fan girl of the lads from Westlife, so for me it was a no brainer that I had to try and get her to meet them.

Not knowing what sort of access I had in my job, I tried calling in few favours. Their label manager said they had already left the venue, but if I joined them a few hours later at a local nightclub, she would get me into the VIP area and see what she could do.

I shared this gem of information to Carmen in the hope that it would extend our "date" into the evening. It worked like a bomb and she was up for it, obviously more in the hopes of meeting Westlife, than in spending additional time with me.

When we arrived at the club a few hours later, I was lucky enough to bump into the label manager on arrival, and she immediately ushered us through to a very elite section of the club, where the boys would be hanging out.

As the time passed Carmen became doubtful that they would show, but I kept assuring her that they would be there "any minute now".

After about 90 of those "any" minutes, the boys came walking past us, looking every bit as disheveled as a group of adult Irish Boy Band member should look so late into their career.

That was as close as we got to them. Carmen was disappointed and promptly called it a night.

In a desperate attempt to try and keep a second meeting on the table, my parting words were "if you ever need any CDs, let me know".

She did, straight after I said that, in fact.

I said she should come by my office in the week and I'd put a package together for her. But what I was really hoping was that she would want my package.

A few days later, I got a text from her saying she would be coming round the following day and if I could just leave the package at reception for her. Confused, and somewhat insulted I instinctively replied "sure". But I didn't put the package together.

Then, the next day I got a follow up text saying, "hey I thought you were going to leave CDs for me at reception? There was nothing there".

She had actually come to collect them, and not even bothered to ask to see me. However, since I am a man of my word, I put the CDs in an envelope and left it with reception, telling her to come fetch again when she was ready. I carefully watched from my office window and saw her arrive, park her car, fetch the CDs and leave.

She texted me to say, "got em, thanks".

I didn't reply. And that was the last we ever saw of each other.

A few years later, curiosity did get the best if me, and I searched for her on Facebook. She was pregnant. I guess someone else gave her his package in the end.

My heart was growing more and more fragile as the days went by, and I just grew sadder and sadder.

No matter what I was doing, or how good I was treating people, the results were all the same. In fact, nobody was even giving me a chance at being something more. It was heartbreaking.

It was during this time, that my old friend, Taps unexpectedly starting messaging me to find out how things were going, and that we should catch up. I had last seen Taps during my first night with Naj.

We decided on a place and time, and met to catch up on the last few months. Taps was a tall, slender, proudly African girl, and most certainly not the type of girl I would really go for, so I never associated any romantic thoughts with her.

During our coffee date she surprisingly admitted to me, that she was jealous that night I was with Naj. And had seen me in a different light. Apparently, my confidence and rebelliousness had become an attractive quality in me. I always faked confidence pretty well.

Unsure of what existed between us, we decided to try doing dinner for starters. She invited me to her place, but the only night both of us were really free was the same night I had a football match earlier in the evening. She said that was fine, and that I was welcome to take a shower at her place.

Now, maybe it's the result of too much porn, but I've always had this fantasy about a shower sex scene. Mind you, at this point in life, I've probably had a fantasy about any scene where I might get lucky.

Post-game, I made my way to Taps' house, where she made dinner. It was a lamb chop on a plate. And because she hadn't bought furniture yet, we sat on her mattress in the lounge.

It was awkward but quaint. What was even more awkward was our attempt at flirting with each other. It just didn't seem natural, and any attempt I tried to make was immediately spurned. Eventually she suggested I go. When we spoke again, she said that this was moving too fast, and that she didn't expect me to be in her bed on the first date.

Yes, the same bed we ate dinner on. I was clear that this would have been a train wreck from the beginning, but I guess it was only fair that we entertained the thought.

She also disappeared after that conversation, but we did speak briefly via email every few years.