mistakes we made for love (ON HOLD)

GANG TROUBLE

AUGUST P.O.V

i woke up to alot of shoveling down stairs and the sound of guns being loaded i jumped out of bed ran over to my closet and grabbed some shorts and a light blue crop top and ran down stairs into the kichen were i saw the gang loading gns harry osted me a bag full of guns " whats going on" i asked clearly to jackson " the went on our turf last night and left a little message its for u " he said handing me his pho'ne its said " ur girl is gonna be ours either by chose or forced" i almost froze they werent bluffing they really want me "run the tracker in the phone get there location before we go on in and also pick up in convo' s u can find in the phone sinces the time u have found this" I said sternly to my suprise not on scoff they did exactly what i said ! when they came back with the information we headed out to the car , me and Jackson in one and the rest in the other . it took awhile to actually get off the high ways . there was a lot of awkwardness in the air " your staying with me the whole time so I can protect u " he said with a straight face . I was honestly confuse he wants to basically calm me a hoe but then protect me wtf! " what makes u think u can protect me " I with a ass load of aditude " listen I know ur mad and everything Abt yesterday I understand I was out of line but u make me so angry everytime I see u with liam , ur always laughing and so close it just rubs me the wrong way . and honestly I've never been bothered before when the other girls did it . the way u laugh and tell him everything , why can't we be like that! what do u have against me! " he yelled I sat there thinking Abt what to say I mean I might as well be honest " if I open up to you I might fall for you ! and I can't take that risk of u not being there to catch me ... I cant.! NO ! I won't put my self through that again because it sucked ass " I yelled just as loud . it honestly felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. we came to a quick stop so did the other car behind us with the rest of our gang in it . jackson turned his head to me " you honestly think ill hurt u when ur the only I care abt" he said outrage in his voice before I could say anything his lips smashed into mine ...hard and I mean hard it was passionate , also anything but gentle . it felt like every ounce of feelings and fear we had for each other went into the kiss . when we broke apart I couldn't bare to look in his eyes , he might have realized that he's my weakness. " look at me" he said softly but I couldnt " look at me" he said more aggressive , then u pulled my chin so I was looking into his eyes " tell me you do regret it" he said with all these emotions I couldn't name " believe me I didn't regret it " I whispered afraid if he heard me that he would look at me diffrently, but when I looked up he smiled a real smile that melted my heart because god only knows ......I'm falling for the asshole.

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JACKSON P.O.V

I got out the car when we arrived I had to let him know August is mine! after we marked on their underground gang house we left the buliding but not without august having to knock someone out just for fun I swear to god I fucking love this girl . I watched as she walked to the car worrie free her hips swayed from side to side but u could tell it wasn't forced her hair was blowing in all directions.. I just want he to admite that she likes me ! we could make this work we really could! I have to talk to her as soon as I get in the car . the others left before us to head back to the house, august and I got into the car . I drove to a medow just out side of the town we were already in . I was curious to know what she meant by she has nothing left to love or care abt . it was on her text messages to liam he asked her if she knew what could happen being in a dangerous gang .we got out and walked to the middle of the forest think and she sat down next to the lilys " why" I asked curiously "my mom loved them" she said with the brightest smile but in her eyes u could tell it was fake "you don't have to fake smile when ur around me . I've lost a parent to and I've been through heart break" I said not so softly " I'm not faking the thought is both happy and sad " she stated matter of factly . I needed a answer ! she needed to answer it or I would go crazy so I pushed her up against a tree rapped her legs around me torso and whisphered in her ear "tell me u feel the same" her body tensed. she was abt to speak but then shut her mouth quickly .she unrapped her legs from my torso and walked away . just like that she was gone, i could see in her eyes she wanted to say it but her muh wouldnt let her. i shook my head i really thought she had got over this thing were she doesnt trust me , she thinks im going to hurt her, but can i blame her? the first day she met lily i told her she was just my sex buddy ! she probably thought "what makes her diffrent" i knew the answer that . Everythingmakes her diffrent ,her smile, her eyes, her laugh, the way she doesnt give a flying fuck , the way shes just badass without knowing ! jesus the fact she can turn my thought completly into mush ! i finally figured out why shes so important to me! i jackson yorkley am in love with August rae ....

     AUGUST P.O.V

I walked away . i mean what was I gonna do tell him I think he's amazing and perfect, caring, and lovable , the most annoying person I have ever met but somehow I always feel the need to be next to him or get attention from him.......holy mother of god I'm in love with jackson ....shit .... this is not happing I'm not in love with him! ' yes u are dumby' the voice in my head sang in a happy voice . I sighed man I'm falling for a gang member really ? my parents would be so proud! ( note the sarcam) . while I was having a mental debate I didn't realize Jackson walk up next to me his burning gaze on me " what" I snapped he shook his head and smiled, that smile that melted my heart " just wondering why u left back there why couldn't u just tell me the truth" he said sadly I frowned " because the truth is over rated . and if I would have u would have believed me" I said the words driping with sadness . I felt a tear roll down my cheek but a thumb whipped it away . now I was chest to chest with jackson "why wouldn't I believe u" he said emotionless. I couldn't let this happen I will just push him away and the feelings will stop! " because the truth hurts" I said coldly and ripped away fron his grip ,speed walked to the car just when I was about to slam the door I heard him say " u can't push me away like the others, I'm not the one to give up" I shook my head this is honestly gonna be the hardest thing I will ever have to do......

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when I got to the house James was sitting on the porch . I heard Jackson let out what had seem to be a growl..Wtf growling . when James pulled my hand into his it felt like old times ,but I still remember what he did " why" I spoke he knew exactly what I was talking abt " I was young and dumb" he said with a sad smile . it wasn't good enough ! does he even love me? the question had been eating at me till I finally blurted it out " do u love me" I looked into his eyes with in his hesitation I found my answer . he doesnt love me never did . but I didn't hurt I just felt really numb , emotionless and it really wasn't a act . I really could care less . I pulled my hand away " that's what I thought " my words Hung in the air as I walked away in the house and too my room where I found a note: I know your scared to fall for me ! but I'm not like him , I'm much better than him ! one day u will be forced to see the truth behind ur innocent picture of him

                        -your jackson

and with that I just fell on the ground ,pulled my knees to my chest and cried.  I cried abt everything my parents,Jackson.  the gang , how I will never be good enough for jackson.......that one is what got me the most.....lifestyle jot fair ..it really isnt