The Blackbourne and Toma team are called for a very special mission by the Academy. They didn't think that Hogwarts and the wizarding world existed for real and that they would meet such a beautiful witch - inside and out - in the famous castle. Sa...
" You fucker! I don't give a shit about guns! I'm not painting your Johnson! "
Oh, shit! He looks extremely angry now. Maybe I should've written my will. Not that I have much to give to Sang when I die, but I sure as shit want her to have something to remember me by! Would it kill me to paint a motherfucking dick? Well, I'm already painting a dick, but you know what I mean. If I don't paint said piece of flesh, I might go straight to my grave. I hate this. Did I not already tell you how I detest my life right now?
" I could do it if you don't want to. " offers Corey, full of good intentions. It's just that I saw him draw something once for Sang. She asked her to draw himself. He drew a stickman. I'll let you imagine how he would draw his boyfriend's dick now.
" You'll fuck it up and ruin my reputation! No fucking way! Don't touch my art, fucker! Alright, alright! I'll do it! Geez... "
" Don't call my babe a fucker. He does that, but you meant it as an insult and I don't appreciate that. "
" God, the visual you gave me is... Yuck! Shut the hell up and let me paint your fucking dick! "
" If you want to do it so much, I will shut my mouth. You take a good look so it looks like the real thing. "
Shut it, God! He's a pain in the ass! Seriously? Is that fucker for real? When I'm done, he comes over and looks at the painting all happy until I see him squinting his eyes at a certain part of his naked painted body.
" It's too tiny. Mine is way bigger than that. I think you did this on purpose. Did you really look at it? " he asks me, getting his robe off again and spreading his legs in front of me. Please, make it stop. I should have just made him kill me.
" You do it again and be sure to add more details on my ass. I have more defined muscles. Corey says I am like a Dutch Gouda. "
" You mean Greek God, babe. "
" Same. "
" Uh. Not quite. " I mutter, painting more details like the fucking Russian asked, even though it's killing me. I will so cover that shit whenever I get to sleep in Trouble's bedroom. Fuck that! She'll sleep in my bed. No way will I have to see his package again or hear him comment on my performance or whatever. This shit will not happen!
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Everything is ready. I can't wait for my Milashka to see what I did for her. Okay, technically, I wasn't the one making those things, but I am the genius who thought about them and threatened people to make them for me. I mean, asked.
After much struggles, Gabriel finished my painting and it's finally right. How hard is it to paint a cock, seriously? Get it? Hard? Ahem! Anywho... Snape did not want to charm the thing so that it would be like all those paintings on Hogwart's walls. He is a party pooper. I had to go through a very painful experience and ask McGonnagal. That woman likes her men young and hot. I did not do anything to betray Sang but I had to endure her constant remarks for almost an hour before she charmed the painting. Horrible. I should have brought Corey with me. Maybe she would've behaved better. I mean, all that she said was true, but coming from her mouth it sounded wrong and I might have thrown up a little in my mouth a couple of times.
