After Months, She Sends Flowers

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After Months, She Sends Flowers

I. Her

there is a needle in my heart

a rasping with every thud, thud

I say: hello

I say: I'm sorry

I say: forgive

             and forget

no reply, no reply, no reply

this is what comes of friendship

II. Me

flowers in a vase on the desk corner,

thickening the air with choking perfume

every whiff a reminder

that she won't forget, won't let go

there is a needle in my heart,

sewing shut every wound

of every word she's ever said,

tending and mending,

my sigh is a hushed hope

that her dragon is tamed,

that her flaming soul is healed

that she is finally happy

                                  at last

III. Her

her silence is an erasure,

a knife slicing and dicing,

deconstructing me into

a sliver of self, a paper-thin shadow

capable of collapsing against

concrete walls

she could, if she would

prove me whole

but nothing leads to nothing

I am withering, drooping

like un-watered flowers

I say: why won't you speak

I say: f•ck you

I say: everything

              is your fault

IV. Me

silence is a moat, a fortification

against the rage outside my parapets

I sit behind the walls

and listen to her pounding

I've built these barricades stone by stone

out of love, out of need,

out of self preservation

I think, I love you

I think, I forgive you

I think, I wish you such joy,

                   but I won't let you in


Note: This poem was inspired by a prompt offered by Dragonluvr9517: "Hiding in plain sight - I'm a shadow, always here yet forgotten about. Reaching out to say Hello, only to be left alone again, never existing in their mind... might need a dif. title"

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