She's Not Afraid

"You Can't Always Get What You Want"

Sofia went flying back hitting the rails on the ring, as Zayn hit her again hard. She didn't even have time to breathe, as he hit her head again, before knocking her in the stomach. She fell to her knees, as Zayn hit her again.

"Liam," Harry grunted, Liam turned to him, and could see that Harry was seeing red and had his aggressive eyes aimed at Zayn, with his fists clenched.

"Zayn!" Liam called, "I did just get my sister back and she won't be any use to me or anyone else if you put her in a coma..." He watched as Sofia stood up, trying to catch her breath. A bruise forming just above her eye where Zayn had hit her earlier, when they had started the training session.

"She's not even trying!" Zayn snapped, "She's not even trying to defend herself. She's letting me beat the shit out of her! If she goes into a coma, it's her own fault."

"And if I put you into a coma, it's gonna be your own fault!" Harry growled, his eyes narrowing and going cold as he stared at his friend.

"Liam! Tell her!" Zayn whined ignoring Harry, as Sofia smirked at him trying not to laugh at his childlike whine.

"Sofia," Liam scolded, "Try please. At least put your hands up. You're face is bruising. It's not a good look for you, and I don't want you getting anymore."

"I told you I didn't want to do this this morning," Sofia said, as she stared at her brother, raising her eyebrows.

"And I told you I didn't care, we have to get your defenses back up. You barely held that guy off last night. And that is a problem, you know that!" Liam growled

"Liam," Sofia said, as she put her hands on her waist and glared at her brother, "I don't want to go back to work so I don't need to get my defenses up!"

"Sofia, you are going back to work," Liam said, as he took the same stance, mocking her, "And you don't have a choice. So you might as well suck it up, and at least try and protect your face."

"He should stop hitting me if I'm not even trying!" Sofia snapped, before turning back to Zayn, "It's the gentlemanly thing to do, you know, Zayn."

"I'm not trying to be a gentlemen, Sofia! I'm trying to make sure that you can still fight and defend yourself. Which so far, you have not been able to do, so prove me wrong, and this whole thing will end."

"Wasn't I supposed to be going up against Louis today?" Sofia said, turning back to Liam and ignoring Zayn, "What happened to that? He's so much easier to deal with..."

"That's because he takes it easy on you," Zayn hissed under his breath before raising it a bit and continuing, "You don't need someone going easy on you, you need to stop playing around and get your head in the game."

"I wasn't talking to you!" Sofia snapped, "Liam, when is Louis getting here?"

"He's not," Liam said quietly

"What?" Sofia asked, her eyes narrowing in frustration and anger at her brother.

"He's not..." Liam said, a little wider, looking at his sister nervously.

"What are you talking about?!" Sofia demanded, "You mean I'm stuck with him?!" Sofia growled, as she pointed at Zayn, who narrowed his eyes at her finger.

"I'll break that finger if you don't put it down," Zayn hissed at her. Sofia pointed her finger even further, getting it closer to his face. Zayn grabbed her finger, but he wasn't expecting Sofia to swing. Zayn was caught totally off guard, and Sofia put about 3 more quick swings into his head, before shoving him towards the rails, and watching him lose his balance. She didn't wait for him to catch his breath, or regain his strength before she climbed on top of him pinning his hands above his head.

"What were you going to break again?" Sofia asked, batting her eyes innocently, as Zayn glared up at me.

"Get off of me!" he hissed.

"No thanks, you're comfy," Sofia said, as she settled on his stomach straddling him, before looking back up at Liam.

"So, what happened to Louis?" Sofia asked, as she ignored Zayn's unrecognizable noises that he was making below her.

"Eleanor isn't feeling well," Liam said, as he looked on at his sister on top of Zayn with amusement, "So, he's with her. The world doesn't revolve around you Sofia, you can't always get what you want."

"Clearly," Sofia growled, rolling her eyes, "Or I wouldn't be stuck with Sir –"

But she didn't get to finish her sentence because Zayn was pushing her off of him, and suddenly it was she that was under him. Zayn was pinning her down, putting all his weight on her wrists. Sofia squirmed beneath him, and tried to push him back off, but it was no use. He chuckled on top of her, as he pushed more weight down. He grabbed her finger, as he pinned her down, staring down at her.

"Now about that finger I was going to break..." Zayn hissed, as he held it tightly.

"Zayn!" Sofia hissed, "You're hurting me!"

"Oh am I?" Zayn said, cocking his head to the side, "But you were just so confident a few seconds ago. Come on, million dollar baby, show me what you got..."

"Zayn! Come on!" Sofia spat out, struggling against him, "Let me up! You're hurting my wrist! Let me up!"

"Zayn!" Harry barked from his place at the sidelines, but Zayn ignored him. He lightened his pressure on her, and she let out a sigh of relief, before looking up at him slightly ignored.

"I'm starting to get a bit jealous over here..." Harry growled, growing more and more frustrated with Zayn and more and more concerned about Sofia. But Zayn ignored him, still staring down at Sofia, with a grin on his face.

"Well... are you going to let me up or not?" Sofia hissed, "You made your damn point. I get it, I need to stop messing around."

"I'll let you up," Zayn said

"Great! Get up!" Sofia spat out, exasperated.

"Tell me you missed me," Zayn said, grinning wider.

"What?" Sofia asked, with a look that said are you kidding me.

"Tell. Me. You. Missed. Me." Zayn said, his smile growing wider.

"So, if I lie to you, you'll let me up?" Sofia asked, cocking her head to the side and raising her eyebrows, for a second Zayns smile faltered but he recovered quickly.

"We both know it won't be a lie," Zayn said, "You missed me. I know you missed me."

"You're so full of yourself," Sofia spat, looking away from him, "I did not miss you."

"You did," Zayn said.

"And where did you come to that conclusion?" Sofia asked, glaring up at him.

"Because today, in the kitchen there were several seats available, and you chose to sit next to me..."

"You're basing your theory on where I sat?" Sofia scoffed

"Yes. That and the picture of you and me that I found in your bag..." Zayn said, smiling widely down at her, as he wiggled his eyebrows.

"YOU WENT THROUGH MY BAG?!" Sofia shrieked, moving her hands from his grasp to punch him right in the chest, "THAT'S SUCH A INVASION OF PRIVACY YOU ASSHOLE!"

"You don't get privacy when you've taken a trip down crack head lane," Zayn growled at her, "I was making sure there weren't drugs in there..."

"IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?!" Sofia yelled at him, "THAT YOU WENT THROUGH MY BAG! AND YOU ONLY WENT THROUGH IT SO YOU COULD YELL AT ME ABOUT SOMETHING!"

"That's not true, drama queen," Zayn said, rolling his eyes, "I went through it to help you out."

"So you wouldn't have yelled at me if you had found something?" Sofia asked

"No," Zayn said, "I would've beat the shit out of you... so lucky you."

"Yeah, I'm so fucking lucky," Sofia spat out.

"I didn't find anything, so what does it matter?" Zayn asked

"It's just another reminder of why I left, the lack of privacy. You feel like you can do whatever and like you have some sort of control over me. I HATE BEING APART OF THIS!" Sofia yelled

"Of what?!" Zayn seethed, "A family?! Because that's what I am, Sofia! I'm your fucking family! I'm your brother! And any brother anywhere in any house, anywhere in the world would've done the same fucking thing!" Zayn climbed off of her, storming off the boxing ring.

"Shit," Sofia hissed under her breath as she watched Zayn walk out the front door, and noticed Liam, Harry, and Niall all glaring at her.

"Well..." Niall said, annoyed, throwing his hands up, "Go after him you fucking idiot!" as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. Sofia sighed, but ran after Zayn and found him in the parking lot, with a cigarette in his mouth. Sofia quickly grabbed it from his mouth, surprising him and annoying him, before taking a drag of it and throwing it on the ground.

"This is going to kill you," she said, as she stomped the cigarette out. Zayn glared at her.

"You're so bloody annoying," Zayn growled, turning away from her.

"I'm sorry," Sofia said quietly, to his back

"For what?" Zayn spat, turning around fast and surprising her, anger and fire in his eyes, "For being a bitch on the matt or for leaving me?" Sofia sighed as Zayn stared at her, his eyes intense and hurt.

"For both," Sofia whispered sincerely.

"Yeah well, I don't know if I forgive you," Zayn said with a bite in his tone that made Sofia flinch.

"You're my best friend, you know that right?" Sofia asked, but Zayn didn't answer her, showing her just exactly how angry he was with her.

"I'll trade you a secret for forgiveness..." Sofia said

"Only if it's a good one..." Zayn said, his eyes softening a little bit.

"I never planned to leave for good," Sofia said, looking up into his eyes, "When I left, I only meant to leave for a few days, give everyone a chance to cool off, and wrap my head around the fact that I had almost lost Harry forever..."

"What?" Zayn asked, his eyes furrowed in confusion, "Seriously?"

"Seriously," Sofia said, nodding, "I never planned on staying away, and staying away was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life..."

"So why didn't you come back?" Zayn asked, his eyes curious and sad at the same time.

"Because I screwed up, Zayn. And if I came home, I would have to face the truth and face Harry..."

"What happened, Sofia?" Zayn asked, he moved towards her, wrapping his arms around her and looking down.

"I already gave you one secret," Sofia said, "I can't give you this one. Not yet."

"Whatever it is, you'll get through it. Harry loves you, no matter what. We all do," Zayn said, his voice kind and soft, very unlike himself.

"Don't say that," Sofia hissed, tears in her eyes, looking up at him.

"Why?" Zayn asked

"Because I don't deserve it," Sofia said.

"You can't keep doing this," Zayn said, "You can't keep punishing yourself. Whatever it is, you should just tell us..."

"I can't," Sofia said, pushing out of his arms, and looking up at him, sighing, "Not yet."

"Okay," Zayn said, shrugging, and surprising her, "Not yet."

"Everything okay out here?" a voice came from behind them, both
turned to see Harry walking towards them. He looked at Sofia, who was wiping her wet eyes fast.

"What did you do?" he spat at Zayn, who through his hands up.

"Nothing!" Sofia said as she reached out to Harry, who put his arm around her, "I just got emotional when I was telling him how much I missed him..." Sofia looked back at Zayn and winked, Zayn smiled at her shaking his head.

"You ready to go back in?" Harry asked

"Absolutely," Sofia said, "I owe Zayn a can of whoop ass..."

"In your dreams, Payne..." Zayn scoffed as the three of them walked back in to the gym.


***


Sofia walked towards the kitchen with Liam, Niall, Harry, and Zayn behind her as they heard chatter in the kitchen and Sofia almost choked when she walked in to see who was there.

"Cara?" she gasped out, as her roommate spun around. Sofia looked around to see everyone else, who looked just as she thought they would if they ever met Cara. Danielle and Ella looked amused, Daisy and Emily both looked as though they didn't know what to make of her, and Louis looked annoyed.

"I told you she would be here," Danielle said quietly, as Cara leaped out of her chair and ran towards Sofia.

"Sofie!" Cara cried, wrapping her arms around her.

"Sofie?" Niall hissed behind them, "Who the hell is Sofie?"

"Are you okay?" Cara asked, looking Sofia over, as Sofia still stood in shock, "Did you just come from the gym? How did they get you to the gym? I've been trying forever..."

"What are you doing here?" Sofia asked, looking at her talkative roommate in confusion and amusement, she had missed her.

"Well, you left me a number, so I tracked you down of course," Cara said, as though it was obvious.

"I gave you the number so you could call me, Cara," Sofia said, rolling her eyes, "Not travel 2 hours away to find me..."

"Well, Topher and I were worried, he's been trying to get ahold of you at our flat. And when I found the note, I didn't know if you had finally gone off the edge, so I wanted to come and make sure you okay. Topher, of course, was really happy you returned home, so he wasn't as worried but he still wanted to make sure you were okay. He'll be so happy to see that you look good, which by the way, you do look good. Maybe this was a good thing for you..."

"Is Topher here?" Sofie asked, as she looked around at the room, everyone seemed shocked that Cara could talk so much and so fast, but Sofia was used to it.

"Yes, he went to use the bathroom," Cara said, "But he probably got lost, this place is so big. You didn't tell me your friends were so well off."

"They run a good business," Sofia said calmly, avoiding her brother's gaze.

"I see that. Danielle was just telling me how close you all are, practically sisters she said," Cara said, Sofia glanced at Danielle who was looking at her with a wise parental look.

"Yeah, we are very close," Sofia agreed.

"Sofie!" a voice came from behind them, as Topher walked into the kitchen. Sofia couldn't help but smile widely as she saw him. He hugged her and she melted into his arms.

"You look good," Topher said, "After only 2 days here, you're looking better. Didn't I tell you after a traumatic incident, you should be home?"

"Traumatic?" Harry asked, looking Topher up and down. Sofia glared up at Topher, who was smart enough to look guilty.

"Anyway, you could have at least told me you were going somewhere, Sofie," Topher scolded, "I had been calling, and I even came by the apartment. I thought something went terribly wrong. Don't get me wrong, I was thrilled to hear that you had finally decided to go back home, even for a bit, but I was worried."

"Sorry," Sofia said, "It was a last minute decision," she said, glancing at Louis, who still looked very annoyed, "I didn't even think to call you. I should've called."

"No matter," Topher said, "I'm assuming that you're going to be here for a little bit?"

"Probably," Sofia said, trying to look at her family who were all staring at her.

"Good, good," Topher said, as he turned around, to his briefcase. He glanced up, finally noticing the 4 new men in the kitchen that had joined them. Sofia watched as his eyes landed on Harry.

"You're Harry," Topher said, before looking at Sofia, who thought her heart was going to stop.

"I am," Harry growled, before looking at Sofia who was pointedly looking away from him, "And you are?"

"I'm Topher," Topher said, before turning away from Harry and back to Sofia, "Look, you know, first and fore most, I'm looking out for your health..."

"Topher..." Sofia groaned, as she looked at Cara who was also rolling her eyes.

"Just let him get it out, Sofie," Cara said, shrugging.

"On the way here, I looked up some doctors around here. Have you been taking your meds?"

"You are so nosey!" Sofia hissed, but she laughed, Topher just shrugged, "But yes. As needed."

"Great," Topher said, "I left the list in my car. But that's fine, because we were hoping to take you out to eat before we headed back home..."

"Yes, Topher said he'd pay," Cara said, "So, be sure to choose the most expensive place around here."

"Be glad you don't have any siblings," Topher said to Sofia, which made Liam choke on the water he was drinking, but Topher didn't notice, "They are very annoying."

"I'm sure they are," Sofia said, "Food sounds good. I might even actually eat today."

"Wow!" Topher said, looking impressed and laughing, "You're eating? Home really must be doing you good."

"I think it also has to do with Danielle's cooking," Cara said, before glaring at Sofia, "She gave me a piece of pie. You lied to me, I cannot cook for shit..." Sofia laughed hard, as did Topher.

"You believed her?" Topher said through laughter, and Cara punched him hard in the chest.

"So food?" Topher asked, Sofia nodded at him.

"Great!" Cara said, pulling Topher out of the door, "We'll be out in the car, you get changed. We'll see you all later, thanks for the tea..."

"Yes, thank you," Topher said, "And we promise not to steal her – not yet anyway! But you have to give her back to us sometime!" Sofia's eyes widened, because she could feel the tension rise as all the boys glared at Topher, even though he had no idea what he was saying. She was sure that Harry could've hit him right then and there, but Cara had pulled him out the door, and soon they were gone, leaving everyone stunned behind them.

"What the hell was that?" Liam growled

"How did you live with her?" Louis spat out, "Does she ever stop talking?"

"Isn't she great?" Sofia asked, smiling widely as she looked at Louis.

"Who let them into the house?" Liam barked, his eyes angry and frustrated.

"I did," Danielle said quietly.

"Why?" Liam hissed as he stared at her angrily, his fists clenched. Sofia stepped between them.

"Liam, it's not her fault they showed up here..." Sofia hissed

"You gave them our number?!" Liam yelled

"If I didn't, they would've reported me missing. They have pictures of me. They would've gotten police involved! I thought she would call, I didn't think she would show up here!" Sofia spat, "I was trying to cover our tracks!" Liam groaned, but then returned to glaring at Danielle

"You let them in here?" he spat out

"I couldn't get ahold of you, and they made it clear they weren't going away until they saw that Sofie Cox was okay," Danielle said, as she looked pointedly at Sofia as she spoke the name.

"Sofie?!" Niall said, "Seriously?!"

"Shut up..." Sofia said

"Cox?" Harry asked, looking at Sofia curiously, his eyebrows rose. Sofia didn't look at him.

"I'm going to get changed, and then I'm going to get food with them, and get them out of town before they get themselves killed..." Sofia said, looking at her brother.

"You think I'm going to let you go eat with these people? I don't know them, and they are a perfect get away..."

"If I leave with them, I know you'll come after us and kill them," Sofia said, "I know that. And I don't want to get them killed. So, I'll back. But I was going to suggest that one of you follow us, just in case. I know you don't trust me, so I figured if one of you followed us, that would make you feel better."

Liam continued to glare at his sister as he thought about whether or not to let her go with them. He didn't like the way she interacted with them. She seemed so much more relaxed around them, then she did at home. She seemed at ease with them, where as she had had her guard up with all of them since she had been back. But, he also got some satisfaction in knowing that she had left a number and changed her name, to protect them. And he knew that if she didn't go with them, it could look suspicious. And with the suggestion of having someone follow him, he knew that Sofia had him cornered.

"Are you dating him?" Harry spat out at Sofia, breaking Liam from his thought process, Sofia looked shocked.

"What?" she gasped out.

"Are you dating him? Have you been sleeping with him?" Harry growled, "Is that your big secret?"

"Can I go, Liam?" Sofia said, refusing to look at Harry. Liam looked between the two of them before nodding his head at his sister who rushed out of the door, leaving Harry angry and suspicious behind her.


***


"Harry, will you relax?" Louis said from behind him, as Harry stared out the window waiting for Sofia to arrive home. Harry didn't respond, he just kept staring.

"I don't think they're dating," Eleanor said, "I didn't get that impression at all.

"He's into her," Harry snapped, "I could tell..."

"Every guy with a penis who likes women is into her," Niall said, "She's hot, Harry. Just because he's into her doesn't mean that she's into him..."

"They seemed so comfortable," Harry said, "She used to be that comfortable with me. They were joking. And he obviously knew what she's been going through..."

"Harry, stop doing this to yourself..." Danielle said, as she walked into the room, "Do me a favor? Feed David?" Harry nodded, taking David from Danielle as she went to heat up his bottle. Harry turned to the window as he watched Topher's car pull up. He watched as Sofia and Topher got out of the car. His grip tightened on David as he watched them stand close together. Sofia was nodding as Topher seemed to be telling her something important. Sofia seemed to be talking to him about something that clearly upset her, and Harry was wondering if he should step out and rescue her. He watched as Topher put his hand on her arm to calm her down, and how she visibly relaxed and Harry felt the jealousy rage through him. And then, Topher leaned down, kissing Sofia on the cheek and it took everything in Harry not to go out and break his face. He watched as Sofia smiled, hugging him tightly. Sofia turned to walk up the walkway, wiping tears from her eyes. Was she that upset to say goodbye to him? Was she crying over him? Harry couldn't get these questions out from running in his head. Sofia stepped through the door, closing it behind her, tears still in her eyes. As she looked at Harry, who was holding David, a small gasp escaped her mouth.

"We should talk," Harry growled at her, as Danielle walked out with David's bottle. Sofia's eyes widened as Harry took the bottle, placing it in David's mouth. Harry looked back up at her, his eyes angry though he kept his voice calm for the sake of the baby.

"I saw that," he said, calmly.

"I can't do this," Sofia hissed, Harry could hear the anxiety in her voice. But she turned, as rushed up the stairs before he could say anything else.

"Damn it," he hissed, trying to hand David to someone else.

"Give it a few minutes to cool off," Danielle said, "And finish feeding my son..."

Harry did finish feeding David, and he gave Sofia and himself both some time to calm down. He convinced himself that he had overreacted, and was ready for a calm conversation with Sofia to ask her all of his unanswered questions. As he entered their side of the house, Bingly came running up to him. He had expected to find Sofia on the sofa, watching mindless television as that was what she usually did when she needed to calm down. But she wasn't there.

"Sof?" he called out as he walked through their small living room and into the hallway.

"Sofia?" he called again, as he entered the bedroom. He heard sniffling in the bathroom. Harry pushed the door open, to find Sofia on the ground against the wall, a bottle of whiskey opened beside her.

"Damn it, Sofia," Harry hissed as he lowered himself to her slumped over body. She looked up at him, her eyes glazed over and big.

"Harrrrrrrrrrrryyyyy," she drawled out, her voice sounding far away and detached. Harry narrowed his eyes in suspicion. Harry grabbed her face, forcing her to look up at him, and his eyes flashed in anger.

"Are you high?" he spat out, his voice seething

"As a blimp," she said, giggling, before pushing his arm off of her face, and slumping back against the wall.

"FUCK SOFIA!" Harry yelled, as he yanked her up. She stumbled falling against the wall, her coordination on an all time low. Harry forgot his anger for a second, as he wrapped his arms around her, helping her out of the bathroom, and placing her on the bed.

"Why the fuck would you do this?" Harry growled at her, as he towered over her. Sofia looked up at him, her eyes blank and unsteady, making Harry realize that she was in no condition to answer his questions.

"Sofia!" Harry snapped, as her eyes slipped from his, and she went back to being uninterested.

"Harry, you're really killing my high," Sofia said, as she lay down on the bed, allowing herself to feel nothing.

"You think this is killing you high?" Harry snapped, "Just wait until you wake up tomorrow morning..."

Harry stared at her, as Sofia slowly drifted to sleep, allowing the drugs and alcohol to take over her system. Harry pushed his anger aside, as he tucked her beneath the sheets and got changed himself. He spent the next hour throwing out every ounce of alcohol on their side of the house, and going through every inch of Sofia's things, finding the pills that she was hiding before throwing them down the toilet. Once he was done, Harry returned to their bedroom, climbing in next to her and checking to make sure she was still breathing okay. And then he turned on the television, deciding that because he didn't know how intoxicated she had gotten, he couldn't sleep, so he sat up in bed, pretending to watch TV, as he stared down at the girl he loved and wondering where it had all gone wrong.