Surviving Sorrow

Chapter 10

It was anything but the next day. Class after class, she didn’t talk to me. No hey, no hi, not even a little shove from her. Nothing.

We left off good last night, and she didn’t gave any indication that she was mad at me. As far as I can tell, I didn’t do something wrong. She doesn’t look mad either, and she looked fine. I can’t see anything wrong with her since she was pretty much normal with others. It was just me that she seemed to be different with.

It was frustrating. I keep trying to read her but she wasn’t giving anything to work with. I don’t know if I should ask her or not. I don’t know if I have anything to apologize for or not. I don’t know what to do.

‘Maybe I’m just overreacting,’ I told myself. ‘Sometimes, when she’s not around it doesn’t mean something is wrong,’ I said further. “She has other friends too,” I uttered silently when she’s with others. ‘You’re not her boyfriend,’ I admitted the fact to myself bitterly finally at the end of day when she went ahead of me ‘you shouldn’t expect that she’d want you to take her home,’ I said further.

There were only so little words I can say to myself to convince myself that everything is fine before I settled on the gut feeling that there is something wrong. For whatever reason it is, I’m worried, I’m frustrated, I’m anxious to know what she feels.

Are other guys like this? I don’t know, but I am. I don’t know if it’s wrong, but even if it is, who would stop me from feeling this way? No one can. Rather, only one can.

--

Two weeks passed and still nothing from her. It was already becoming obvious that she was avoiding me because of the fact that she made an effort to not be in the same room with me, or as far away from me as possible whenever we are in one.

“Nick.”

“Hey,” I answered back to Elena, Andy’s best friend.

“Can we talk?”

“Sure.”

“In private.”

She was trying not to give something away, but from how she asked ‘private,’ it was something serious that only she and I need to hear. From that I became worried what it was all about because I can’t help but shake the feeling that it was about Andy.

“Okay,” I answered while keeping the anxiousness out of my voice.

I stood up and followed her over to a corner of the building which is where the college theater was at. It’s a quiet place, despite being the main entrance of the building, since none of the students use this one as exit or entrance, and it’s a private place where no one would interrupt us.

“Are you doing anything to Andrea?”

I knew it. “Why would you ask that?” She doesn’t seem to know anything just yet, so I tried to keep any hint of what was between us, if there ever is any, hidden.

“Could you answer the question first?”

“What are you referring to exactly that I’m doing something with Andrea?” I asked her, fishing for how much she suspects.

“Do you have feelings for her?”

I’m hesitant to answer her question. It wasn’t that I don’t; it’s that I wouldn’t like to get other people involved in whatever it between the two of us.

Her parents hadn’t changed, and letting more people know, even our friends, about something that really is nothing, or nothing yet, we risk having her parents know about it too. And they might just put a stop to it before it had any chance to bloom into anything.