Nevertheless

Chapter 1 -What's wrong?

Everyone's day starts with a pleasant morning but I'm nocturnal. My day starts with night. HAHAHA . Weird right? Okay, let me explain. I'm more active at night rather than day . It doesn't mean that I screw up my sleep LOL. But I'm not gonna apologize for what I am. My character is what that bought me till here and helped me survive through all the ups and downs. Well, right now the time is around 12:15 am. And I'm in my room sitting with my books. I love this time actually. This is when I assess my day's performance. By performance, I mean everything that I did in the day. My behavior throughout the day with each person . My attitude to every situation I encountered since morning. Some TRUTHS which I might have accidentally uttered off .The progress I made in tests and other study related stuff. I judge myself a lot rather than judging others. I compare today's progress to yesterday's and try to get better each day.

Right now, I'm in grade 12. I chose science and I really love my studies. But right now , god I'm hungry. I cannot sustain anymore hunger pangs now. My ghrelin is kicking in. And since everyone is asleep, I gotta grab the food by myself.This happens with me everyday. Sad part u know. I'm making some coffee and gonna have some bread with Nutella. According to me this is the best midnight snack!

I've studied enough today ,now its 1:30 am. If I lie down now , I might fall asleep by 2 am atleast. Tomorrow, I have school again!! I'm fed up of this routine now but its only the beginning of the year and I have lots of things to do.Okay! Enough of talking, if I don't lie down now I'll be in trouble. Either Vrushika , my adorable 10 year old sister might come and disrupt my peaceful night or mom might come and shower her anger on me. Where is my blanket! I mention that I cannot sleep without it. Okay I got it. I wish that hopefully tomorrow's morning will show me a way out from my situation. Let's sleep now.

Just as I closed my eyes, this usually never happens but I fell asleep.

SIDDHARTH.SEPTEMBER.PHONECALL.
SIDDHARTH.SEPTEMBER.PHONECALL. SIDDHARTH.SEPTEMBER.PHONECALL. SIDDHARTH.SEPTEMBER.PHONECALL

I woke to this. This never happens that I remember him subconsciously in my sleep.Out of no where he popped into my mind today. "Where would Siddharth be right now?", I asked to myself. Ah! Wait what's the time ? It's 7 am god!! I woke up so early. Noo! I usually get up at 7:45.Okay let's atleast reach school early. I walked down the stairs and saw my mom making breakfast. Why did she wake up soo early? Something's wrong with today.My mom has been sick since 7 years. She is suffering from deep vein thrombosis so we never advise her to get up early. I never share the problems in my family with my friends except for Shanaya. Weirdly, I prefer to keep the sadness inside me ,which might make me weak but I don't care.

Without asking questions ,I silently had my breakfast and packed my bag. As I start walking down the street , I see some cute,little children playing near a tree. There are 3 of them and I'm sure that each of them won't be older than 4 years of age. Let's take a moment to stop and admire their innocence . I wish ,I could just free my mind and live the life like them but sadly I can't. The time is 7:45 and I think now I should get going! My school is just some streets away from home . So I walk and go.

I reached school finally and as it begins at 8:30 am ,no one has still arrived. I wanna go up through stairs ,I just don't know why. The school looks like it had been abandoned since ages. The darkness. LOL . I live in darkness so I'm not getting scared. I like darkness as it seems peaceful to me. I put my bag on the table and I sit down in the dark classroom. I put my head on the desk.

I feel someone's trying to wake me up. Who the hell is trying to wake me up bruh! As I open my eyes , it's all so bright god!! And I see Shanaya !!! "Shanaya , what the fudge are you doing here dude!!" , I said. "Maya, it's 8:05 am and why the hell were you sleeping in the darkness? And that too alone ! Don't you know where's the light switch? Maya ,are you alright?",asks Shanaya. "Why r u asking me so many questions at once, you know that my brain might stop functioning LOL .Let me come into my right senses! Wait !!"

Shanaya is my best friend since 2 years and as I said ,I don't share much with her either but I share some considerable amount. She's always doubting my mental situation and honestly she cares about me a lot. After what all happened it's natural that she's worried and its justified. But I get irritated when she tries to poke some things which are not supposed to be poked.

"Well, Shanaya I woke up early this morning, so I fell asleep by mistake."

"Are you kidding me? 'You' fell asleep!" says Shanaya.

It's normal for her to react like this because I cannot sleep for more than 6 hours . I haven't been medically diagnosed but I think its Insomnia. The thing is I actually fell asleep now and even yesterday night too. Why is this happening to me!!

"Don't tell me it's like that night!", I muttered out.

"Maya!! Dude this is happening to you again! I thought everything's gonna be alright but ...",says Shanaya.

"Shut up Shanaya! Nothing's wrong . It's just lack of sleep and nothing else. Absolutely nothing!"

I cutoff the topic and walked through the corridor as I wasn't able to face Shanaya and her questions. Okay I wanna go to the restroom and wash my face after the unexpected nap.